Chapter 1: ASMP Quotes, Baby!
Chapter Text
Pierce: I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules.
Ein: What?
Pierce: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?
Ein: *About to do something incredibly stupid*
Pierce: I know I can't stop you, but I won't let you go by yourself.
Zane: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO-
KC: It was me...
Zane: ...Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.
Aph: Why don’t you go talk to KC?
Zane, sarcastically: Oh. Yeah, sure.
Aph: What? So you go tell her she’s cute, what’s the worst that could happen?
Zane: She could hear me.
Ein: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.
Pierce: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.
Ein: ...But you’re always acting stupid?
Pierce: …
Pierce: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.
Zane, in a room with Ein, Pierce, and Aphmau: It’s calm in here.
Zane: It scares me…
Aph: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?
Ein: *crouches down*
Zane: *kneels down*
Pierce: *sits on the floor*
Aph:
Aph: I hate all of you.
Mac: *watching the squad's shenanigans with concern* Do you feel like this has gotten out of hand?
Kim: I don't know. Feels normal enough for a group that's on 911's blocked callers list.
Zane: Fine! I don't give a shit!
Ein: You seem to give a lot of shit for someone who claims not to give a shit.
Aph: Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool! I've been the same height since I was twelve!
Zane: Hi, who's this? Ein changed all of my contacts to mythical creatures.
Aph: What's mine?
Zane: Dwarf.
Aph: HE’S SO MEAN, I'M NOT THAT SHORT!
Zane: Oh, hey Aph.
Aph: FUCK!
Pierce: What’s the straightest thing you’ve ever done?
Ein: *sighs*
Ein: I killed a man.
(Pierce: What?
Ein: He came back!)
Noi: Please, Pierce, after everything we’ve been through together. You can’t do this.
Pierce: I’m sorry Noi.
Noi: I’m begging you. Don’t do it.
Pierce: It has to be done.
Noi:
Pierce:
Noi:
Pierce: *Places +4* Uno.
Ein: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Zane: Wasn’t Pierce with you?
Pierce: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.
Zane: WHO ATE MY BREAD?!
Zane: I'M GOING TO FUCKING K-
KC: I did?
Zane: Kiss you and buy some more, you haven't been eating anything today KC.
Zane: *walks away*
KC:
KC: He’s gone Ein.
Ein, coming out the closet with bread stuffed in his mouth: Twankh uh!
Pierce: I'm hot, I’m tall, I'm gay, and I'm on my theater kid arc.
Noi: I like wearing oversized sweaters. Not just because they're extremely comfy and cuddly, but because whenever the sleeves are really big, I get to flop them around and smack people.
Pierce, who just met the group: What happened to Ein?
Aph: He died.
Pierce: He what?
Aph: He died, but he’s okay.
Pierce: …Can you please clarify?
Ein: Clarification is for the weak.
Ein: Hold on, I can explain!
Zane: Really? Can you now?
Ein: I can if you give me a minute to think of a convincing lie.
Aph: Tell me a little about yourself.
Pierce: I'd rather not, I really like this group.
Mac: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?
Kim: Maybe a bit tipsy?
Aaron: Drunk.
Pierce: Wasted.
Ein: Dead.
Chapter 2: Take some My Inner Demons Too
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Leif: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong?
Noi: Strong.
Asch: Weak.
Rhys: An idiot.
Asch: Why is there blood everywhere?
Rhal: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife.
Asch: You stabbed someone?!
Rhal: No, no. I aggressively poked someone with a knife.
Ava: The joy of hanging out with The Daemos. You look away for 5 seconds to make sure something is set up correctly, and they bite the tip of a marker off.
Leif: You seem familiar... have I threatened you before?
Leif: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.
Ava: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.
Leif: Not when you’re playing with Rhys, it’s not. He puts words like “ephemeral” and I put words like “dog.”
Ava: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.
Leif: Mine just says "Leif no."
Ava: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.
Asch: Remember, Rhal, don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Rhal: I think I crossed that line when I got married.
Rhys: Damn, the power went out.
Leif: Don’t worry, I got this.
Leif: *shakes rapidly and starts to light up*
Pierce: What-?
Leif: I swallowed a glow stick!
Ava, on the verge of tears: WHY WOULD YOU-
Noi: Hey, Rhys, have you thought about having children?
Rhys: ...
Rhys: Does looking over you and the others not seem like I already do? Because I promise you, it sure feels like it.
Leif: But we're not childr-
Rhys, already distracted: ASCH, PUT THE FIRE DOWN!
*Leif drunkenly wanders around the house and Noi is drunkenly giggling*
Rhys, completely sober: *sighs* Well, looks like it's just me and you against the world, Pierce.
Pierce, going to his room: No, just you. *shuts door*
Leif: Hold on! I’m having one of those things... a headache with pictures.
Ava: What the fuck?
Asch: He’s having an idea.
Leif, to Ava: You know, Asch can be really aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching.
Leif: *blows airhorn at Asch* GET FUCKED!
Rhys: OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?! TIME OUT! GET ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE! GET UP THERE!
Leif: *Climbing* THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!!!
Kidnapper: I have one of your friends.
Ava: Which one? I have five.
Kidnapper: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up.
Ava: Which one? I now have three.
Noi, distantly: HEY!!!
*when the Daemos drop food*
Rhys: Eh, oh well.
Asch: FIVE-SECOND RULE!
Ava: FUCK!
Pierce: *just gets more food*
Noi: *drops to his knees and mourns the food*
Leif: *eats the food off the ground*
Noi: We might have gotten into a bar room brawl back in the city.
Rhys: Well, that was entirely predictable.
Pierce: One of them punched a gang member.
Rhys: Leif?
Noi: Asch, actually.
Rhys: Oh, that was going to be my second guess.
Asch: Anyone d-
Pierce: Depressed?
Rhys: Drained?
Leif: Dumb?
Noi: Disliked?
Asch: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people…
Asch, at the slightest provocation: I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and I'm not afraid to leave the same way.
Asch: What doesn't kill me better start running, because now I'm fucking pissed.
Lady Bish: Did you have to stab them?
Zex: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what they said to me.
Lady Bish: What did they say?
Zex: "What are you going to do, stab me?"
Rhal: That’s fair.
Noi: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
Pierce: Killed without hesitation.
Noi: What, I can’t be in a bad mood? It’s like people think, “Oh, Noi is such a nice person, Noi is so happy-go-lucky! Noi can’t be in a bad mood!” Well, you know what? Noi CAN be in a bad mood. And right now, Noi IS in a bad mood.
Rhys: What do we say when making bread?
Ava, glumly: That's the dough rising.
Rhys: And what do we NOT say?
Leif, sadly: That's the yeast fucking.
Rhal: I WOULD DESTROY THE WORLD FOR YOU!
Lady Bish: Okay, can you do the dishes?
Rhal: No!
One of the Daemos, looking at a dead phone: How do we bring this thing back to life? Magic? Live sacrifice? I know a guy in town-
Asch, Leif & Rhys: *screaming*
Ava: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Rhys?!
Asch: Wait, why are you asking Rhys that when Leif and I are also here?
Ava: Because Rhys wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.
Ava: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them?
Rhys, watching Leif screaming, Asch trying to set a sleeping Pierce on fire, and Noi choking on air: I don't know.
Ava: So, did everyone learn their lesson?
Pierce: No.
Noi: I did not.
Leif: I may have actually forgotten one.
Asch: Also no.
Ava: Oh good, neither did I.
Rhys: *Exhausted sigh*
Pierce: Wow, this parking is as straight as I am.
Asch: I know I should be focused on the fact that you just came out, but HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING!
Ava: Wow, great work on the Halloween decorations. Where did you get the fake skeletons?
Leif: Fake?
Rhys: I have the sharpest memory here-name one time I forgot something!
Asch: You left me, Leif, and Noi in a Walmart parking lot at 2am a day ago.
Rhys: I did that on purpose, try again.
Asch: ARE YOU-
Leif: Fucking.
Asch: KIDDING ME?! YOU-
Leif: Fucking.
Asch: IDIOT!
Ava: …What was that?
Leif: Rhys banned Asch from swearing, so I’m helping him out.
Noi: Leif told me to stop being immature, so I told him to get out of my fort.
Noi: There’s no “I” in team, but there is one in pizza.
Ava: So, you’re not going to share?
Noi: I’m not going to share.
Noi: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed.
Leif:
Leif: I'm gonna tell him.
Ava and Rhys: Don't you dare.
Noi: If Leif and I were drowning, who would you save?
Asch: You two can’t swim?
Noi: It’s a hypothetical question, Asch! Who would you save?
Asch: My time and effort.
Noi: Are we really going to let Asch keep Leif?
Rhys: We kept Pierce.
Leif: Never gonna make you cry!
Noi: Never gonna say goodbye!
Leif: Never gonna tell a lie—
Asch: I will hurt you.
*Ava is in the kitchen and she hears a crash from the living room*
Ava, running into the living room: WHAT ON EARTH HAPPENED HERE?!?!
Leif, looking at the broken TV screen and the remote on the floor: I was trying to throw the remote onto the TV stand!
Ava: And Rhys didn’t stop you?!
Leif, pointing at a sleeping Rhys: He’s been asleep for the past three hours.
Noi, walking in, oblivious to the situation: Hey guys-
Noi, realizing: Wait, is the TV broken? Why?!
Ava, pointing at Leif: He threw the remote onto the TV stand.
Noi: Come on! That’s the 5th time this week and it’s 2 in the morning on a Tuesday!
Rhys, waking up to see the situation: *yawns* How long was I out?
Rhys, seeing the broken TV: OH GOSH NOT AGAIN! LEIF, I TOLD YOU NOT TO!
Leif: You were asleep! And I always take a window of opportunity when I see it!
Ava and Noi, in unison: But you broke the-
Leif: My work here is done. If anyone asks, I was never here. *dashes out of the living room*
Pierce: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.
Leif: ... Your what?
Pierce: My friends.
Noi: Is he saying “friends”?
Asch: I think he’s being sarcastic.
Rhys: No, no, no, this is delirium, he’s cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Pierce! All of your friends are in this room.
(Pierce: I have more friends…)
Ava: My dad is calling… hi Dad.
Rhys: Come on guys, stop. She’s trying to talk to her dad.
Leif: *loud fake sexual noises*
Asch: EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Pierce: *is asleep*
Noi: *gets really close to the phone* Tell him I said hi.
Rhys: Are you trying to give me a fucking aneurysm?
Asch: Pretty sure we all are.
Noi: I wasn't.
Asch: I was.
Pierce: I was trying to stop them, for your consideration.
Leif: I just cause aneurysms naturally.
Leif: Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my actions.
Rhal: Unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, I cannot just 'walk up and join a circle of people talking', but it does not sound lovely, thank you.
Leif: I bet you can’t make a sentence without the letter “A”!
Rhys: You thought you just did something there, didn’t you? Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but numerous sentences could be constructed without employing the first letter of the English lexicon.
Asch: Fuck you.
Ava: *standing on a balcony and sneezes*
Leif: *standing on the roof* Bless you.
Ava: God?!
Asch: Come on, Prisoner! How many times do I have to apologize?
Ava: Once!
Asch: ...No.
Leif: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
Ava: No, that's not how you make cookies.
Asch: FLOOR IT!!
Leif: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?
Rhys: YOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-
Leif: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!
Noi: DO IT!
Pierce: NO-
Lady Bish: Lately, Rhal has been quiet, antisocial, and moody!
Asch: Uh, have you MET Rhal?
Rhys: Why are you on the floor?
Pierce: I'm depressed.
Pierce: Also I was stabbed, can you get Leif, please.
Ava: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?
Asch: Rude.
Pierce: That’s fair.
Noi: Not again.
Leif: Are you going to want this back?
(Ava: Leif what the— NOI HOW MANY TIMES HAS THAT HAPPENED?!)
*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*
Ava: Thanks fam!
Pierce: Oh no
Noi: *cries* I love you too
Asch: Sounds fake but okay
Rhys: *A flustered mess*
Leif: Can I get a refund?
Rhys, about Leif: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.
Noi: Are we stealing them?
Pierce: New or used?
Rhys: Wonderful responses, both of you.
Ava: Nothing in life is free.
Noi: Love is free!
Asch: Adventure is free.
Rhys: Knowledge is free.
Leif: Everything is free if you take it without paying.
Ava: Between Asch, Leif, Noi, and Rhys – if you had to – who would you punch?
Pierce: No one. They're my friends. I would not punch any of them.
Ava: Leif?
Pierce: Yes, but I don't know why.
Notes:
I love all you, my lovely readers :) I hope you have a great day and remember to take care of yourself :)
Chapter 3: Ships Because Yes
Notes:
Hi, once again, some these are NOT canon. Please be respectful about others ships. I respect your ships as long as you respect mine. I hope you enjoy!
Chapter Text
Aaron: It's pretty cold outside.. wanna hold hands? We should stay close.
Aphmau, blushing: Okay.
Zane: It's fucking summer.
*playing twister*
KC: Right hand red.
Aaron: *ends up on top of Aph*
Aphmau: You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?
KC: I stopped spinning like 15 minutes ago. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't notice.
Travis: Why do you look like that?
Garroth, laying face-first on the floor: Like what?
Travis: Like you’re dead.
Garroth: It’s because I’m dying. Leave me here to perish.
Dante: Garroth accidentally called Laurence “babe” in front of everyone today.
Garroth: *sobs into the floor*
Ein: You call yourself my soulmate, but where were you when my meme only had four likes?
Pierce: Making four accounts.
Ein, tearing up: Really...?
Ein: We all have our demons.
Ein, grabbing Pierce: This one’s mine!
(Pierce: For the last time, Daemos.)
Katelyn: Did it hurt when you fell-
Travis: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-
Katelyn: No, I meant when you fell off the roof.
Travis: ...
Katelyn: You just laid there for 15 minutes.
KC: *about Aaron and Aph* They make a cute couple, huh?
Katelyn: They certainly are standing next to each other.
Laurence: I want to kiss you.
Garroth, not paying attention: What?
Laurence: I said if you die, I won’t miss you.
Travis, to Katelyn: I'll be under the mistletoe when you start feeling desperate!
Noi: Well, remember when Pierce made a romantic dinner for me?
Ava: Noi, he microwaved you a pizza.
Aaron: Aph, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason.
Aph, wearing a hoodie that's 5 times bigger than her size: Spooky.
Garroth: That's ridiculous, Laurence doesn't have a crush on me.
Zane: Yes he does.
Aph: Yes he does.
Laurence: Yes I do.
Zane: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than to drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-
KC: I wrote you a poem.
Zane, already crying: You did?
Laurence: I’ve been dropping him the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.
Garroth: Wow. He sounds stupid.
Laurence: But he’s not. He’s really smart actually. Just dense.
Garroth: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”
Laurence: I guess you’re right. Hey Garroth, I love you.
Garroth: See! Just say that!
Laurence: Holy fucking shit.
Garroth: If that flies over his head then, sorry Laurence, but he’s too dumb for you.
Laurence: Garroth.
Rhal: I WOULD DESTROY THE WORLD FOR YOU!
Lady Bish: Okay, can you do the dishes?
Rhal: No!
Noi: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.
Ein: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.
Noi: I said within reason, Ein. How about I murder that guy?
Ein: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?
Noi: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?
Noi: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.
Aphmau: Did Pierce say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'?
Noi: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–
*The Squad is gathered in the living room for a meeting*
Ein: *walks in and sits on Pierce’s lap*
The Server: …
Aph: Why are you sitting there?
Ein: There’s no free seats!
Aph: But we made sure there was enough room for-
Ein: *hugs Pierce tightly* There are no free seats.
Blaze: I’m this close to falling in love with Daniel.
Aph: Your fingertips are touching!
Blaze: Exactly.
Pierce, talking about Ein: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH HIM AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? HE DID. HE KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT DO I DO?!
Blaze: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness—
Daniel: Hi.
Blaze: *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*
KC: You have to apologize to them, Zane.
Zane: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!
Ein: Having two partners is both amazing and complicated. But all our problems are solved with communication.
Pierce: It’s my turn to cuddle Noi.
Ein: FIVE MORE MINUTES DAMMIT!
Travis: If I say I love you, will you say it back?
Katelyn: Yes.
Travis: I love you.
Katelyn: It back.
*Later*
Laurence: Why is Travis crying face-down on the floor?
Rhys: You don't need my blessing to go kiss Pierce. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Pierce!
Noi: Nope.
Rhys: In that case, as the archbishop of Noi's fully awakened gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Pierce right on the lips.
Travis: Katelyn is playing hard to get.
Travis: Little does she know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.
Aph: Aaron is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?
Katelyn: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.
KC: Tackle him!
Zane: Dump him.
Ein: Kick him in the shin!
Aaron: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!
Ava: This totally sucks, man.
Asch: This is horrible.
Ava: Yeah, I know, I mean look at today’s news.
Asch: No, it’s not that, it’s Rhys.
Asch: It’s just like, I can’t get him out of my head and every time I look at him I have these pains in my chest, and I just know it’s his fault, that bitch!
Laurence: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?
Garroth: AS ENEMIES?!
Laurence:
(MID)Pierce: My future mate must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.
Noi: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to his knees and sob while apologizing profusely*
Pierce: That one. I want that one.
Pierce: Ein and I are no longer friends.
Ein: PIERCE THAT IS THE WORST WAY TO TELL PEOPLE THAT WE’RE DATING!
Daniel: H-Hey, r-random question, what are your favorite flowers?
Blaze: Peonies, why?
Daniel:
Blaze: Were you going to get me flowers?
Daniel:
Blaze:
Daniel: ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ
Ein: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives.
Pierce: I wake up at 4:30 AM every day to train.
Ein: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives.
Travis: We have a problem.
Katelyn: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.
Travis: I think I'm falling for you.
Katelyn: Then get up.
Pierce: *pretending to joke* So when are you going to go out with me?
Ein: I don't know. When are you going to ask me to?
Noi: And you just ran away?!
Pierce: I didn't expect him to flirt back!
Asch: Relationships should be 50/50. Rhys cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking sexy.
Ein: BE A BETTER PERSON!
Pierce: WHY?!
Ein: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!
Zane: I love you.
KC, not paying attention: What was that?
Zane: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-
Aph: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.
Zane: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you.
*KC walks in*
Zane: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.
Garroth: Crushes are the worst. Whenever I’m near mine, I start acting stupid.
Laurance: You always act stupid.
Laurance:
Laurance: Wait...
Aaron: How do you ask someone out?
Melissa: Well, first-
Lucinda: Don't ask her, she asked me out in a McDonalds parking lot.
Aaron: ...And you said yes?
Ein, pointing: May I sit there?
Pierce: That's my lap.
Ein: That doesn't answer my question, Pierce.
Rhys: Ava, can I talk to you for a second?
Ava: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and Asch are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss?
Rhys: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.
*Ein and Pierce flirting with each other yet again*
The Fandom: And you two are sure you're not dating?
Ein: 100%.
Pierce: Of course not! Why would you think that?
The Fandom: We wonder why that possibility would even cross our mind, Piercy. We fucking wonder.
Asch: Stop doing that.
Rhys: Stop doing what?
Asch: Saying things that make me wanna kiss the hell out of you.
Rhys, looking through his clothes: Has anyone seen my top?
Leif: Asch's in the kitchen.
Garroth: Come on, Zane. Nobody actually believes that Laurence is in love with me.
Zane, to The Squad: Raise your hand if you think that Laurence is helplessly in love with Garroth.
*Everyone raises their hand*
Garroth: Laurence, put your hand down!
Noi: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Ein!
Ein: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.
Ein: Bro-
Pierce: No, no, hold up, rewind.
Pierce: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??
Chapter 4: Idk, Bro But They Seem Canon
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Zane, laying in bed: Get out of my room.
Garroth, standing just outside of the door frame: I’m not in your room.
Vylad: *lying down and crying*
Zane: There, there. Why don’t you take some time off to not be around me while you’re like this?
Laurence: Hey Zane, do you wanna help us?
Zane: Oh, I would... but I don’t want to.
Zane, walking into his house: Hello, people who do not live here.
Garroth: Hey.
Ein: Hi.
Aphmau: Hello.
Pierce: Hey!
Zane: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!
Travis: We were out of Doritos.
Zex: You’d be stupid to lay a hand on me.
Leif: Oh, you’d be surprised how much stupid shit I do.
Zane: Helpful grammar tip: “farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for metaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance!
Noi: I made this friendship bracelet for you.
Pierce: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person.
Noi: You don’t have to wear…
Pierce: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.
Aph: When I said you should try being friendlier this isn't what I meant.
Zane, stirring a cup of tea aggressively: Oh, so now I'm TOO friendly? There's no pleasing you.
Ein, who broke into his house an hour ago: Two sugars please.
Zane: Coming right up.
Rhys: Please say words of encouragement to me so I don’t murder someone right now.
Pierce: There are no books in prison.
Rhys: *sighs* Thank you.
Leif: When was the last time you cried?
Noi: Uh, 15 minutes ago, why??
Leif, alarmed: Really?! That recent?!
Noi: Yeah *voice crack* Is that an issue? *starts crying again*
Gene, to Dante: You're starting to forget your Spanish. You don't practice.
Dante: Lo siento. Estoy embarazada.
Gene: You just told me you're pregnant.
Aphmau: Congratulations Dante, you're glowing!
Rhys: What do we think of Pierce?
*pause*
Noi: *sighs* Nice pal.
Leif: I think he’s gay.
Squad reactions to being called straight:
Gene: The fuck, no I'm not.
Blaze: Excuse the hell out of you?
Travis: Ding dong, you are wrong!
Vylad: Who told you that? And why did they lie?
Garroth: Rude.
Katelyn: *punches the person*
(Fun fact: all of these are canon!)
*Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread*
Asch: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.
Rhys: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful.
Leif: if you want information it is
Noi: why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?
Ein: I feel awful about killing you.
Aaron:
Ein: Even though technically you never even died, so I don’t know what you’re bitching about.
Rhys: Are you trying to give me a fucking aneurysm?
Asch: Pretty sure we all are.
Noi: I wasn't.
Asch: I was.
Pierce: I was trying to stop them, for your consideration.
Leif: I just cause aneurysms naturally.
Dante: Guys, I have a question.
Gene: kys <3
Dante: I love you too.
Laurence, reading over Dante’s shoulder: Ah, yes. Siblings.
Katelyn, struggling to keep upright in her 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me.
Zane, pointing at her and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.
Aph: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you.
Aaron: 10 times 0 is still 0 though.
Aph: Jokes on you, I can't do math.
Aphmau: I need you to be straight with me.
Ein: Let me run this bi you.
Noi: Let’s see how this pans out.
Kim: Let me ace-cess the situation.
Pierce: I’m just gay.
(someone give Pierce a joke in the comments)
Daniel: If you add "uwu" at the end of a sentence it makes it cute.
Noi: You're right uwu
Aphmau: I also agree uwu
Zane: I'm going to kill you uwu
Kawaii~Chan: That's not nice uwu
Zane: Dear friends, your Christmas gift this year… is me. That’s right, another year of friendship. Your membership has been renewed.
Kidnapper: We have your child!
Laurence: I don’t have a child?
Kidnapper: Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their sandwich?
Laurence: Oh god, you have Garroth.
Anyone on the server: If I get one word that you’ve blown up a toilet or-
Pierce: Blown up a toilet? We’ve never blown up a toilet.
Ein: Great idea though, thanks!
Gene: Rules are made to be broken.
Aphmau: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Travis: Uh, piñatas.
Daniel: Glow sticks.
Katelyn: Karate boards.
KC: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Gene: Rules.
Aph:
Kim: Pierce, you’re offered 500,000 dollars, but, if you accept it, the person you hate the most in the world gets 1,000,000 dollars. Would you take it?
Pierce: Of course! I mean, why wouldn’t I want 1,500,000 dollars?
Aphmau: “I miss you” is the nicest text you can receive.
Pierce: “I bought a monster truck.”
Ein: You’re both wrong, it’s “I have too much money, you can have some.”
Noi: “I got you pizza.”
Zane: Fools! I present to you this: “KC is driving to your house right now.”
Aaron: “KC had too much money so she’s driving to your house in a monster truck with a pizza that she got for you.”
Aph: “…Because she missed you.”
Daniel: Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to fear how much they love me.
Kim: I hate taking off my glasses, because without them, my vision goes from Full HD all the way down to buffering at 240p and I just can't handle that.
Gene: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love, Maria’*
Dante: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘Be good. For the love of Irene, Please be good.’*
Ein: I’ve been described as a ‘heartless villain’ and a 'little shit’, but I prefer… 'has alternative ways of having fun’.
Garroth: You need to be more careful!
Zane, who was dragged into Garroth's issue: Careful? CAREFUL?! I'LL CAREFULLY WRAP MY HANDS AROUND YOUR THROAT-
Rhys: You say “Please” and “Thank you” in front of Noi all the time, and he never repeats it.
Rhys: But you call Leif “Ass-faced motherfucker” ONE TIME…
Ein: What’s up? I’m back.
Aaron: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead
Ein: Death is a social construct.
Zane: You know what?
Zane: When I joined this friend group I thought you guys would be dealing with my bullshit.
*Pierce, Aphmau and Ein continue screaming about mold water*
Zane: Not the other way around.
KC: I dunno, sounds like you need to drink the mold water.
Noi: Rhys’s amazing at concentrating. Once he starts reading, the only way he’ll notice you is if you take his book away. Not even if you hit him or shake him!
Ava: That was him ignoring you.
Kim: What’s the dumbest thing you believed as a child?
Pierce: That naptime was a punishment.
Noi: You deserve a reward for putting up with me.
Pierce: You are my reward.
*meanwhile*
Asch: You deserve a reward for putting up with me.
Rhys: True, you can be really difficult at times.
Notes:
So y'all know about the canon LGBTQ+ Characters:
Gene: Hinted to be bisexual. Quote from his wiki: 'In Netflix Themed Murder Minigames, Gene has repeatedly called Garroth hot, implying he might have interest in both men and women'
Blaze is either bi or pan and has canonically had crushes on both Aaron and Daniel (also hinted to be polyamorous)
Travis and Garroth are just LGBTQ+. That's all the confirmation we have.
Vylad was confirmed to be pansexual by his voice actor!
And, the most known one, Katelyn is bisexual
Please know that your pronouns and sexuality(ies) are valid. I hope you have a good day :)
Chapter 5: My Next Generations Quotes
Summary:
This is full of my OCs, plus Bacon (who shows up in Aphmau's vid: DO NOT LAUGH- APHMAU'S GREATEST JOKE as Blaze and Ein's son, as well as in an episode of Angelsville titled: How Ein Became A Father. It's episode 18 and Bacon only shows up at the end but whatever. I love him. I do not own him, I just made up his personality)
Feel free to skip over this if you do not wish to read. Once again, this will have canon and noncanon ships. You can ask me about the kids in the comments, I'd love to tell you about them (plus comments feed my soul)
Notes:
All Connected AU:
Penny= Noi, Ein, and Pierce's daughter
Lukas= Leif's son
Zoey= Zane~Chan's daughter
Sam and Jack= Garroth and Laurance's twin sons
Belle and Jay= Rhal and Lady Bish's children
Alina, Lilith, and Jacob: Aarmau's kids (I got the names off MCD, please don't kill me)
Kevin and Kayla= Travis and Katelyn's kids
Bacon= Ein and Blaze's son, with Daniel, Noi, and Pierce as his step-dadsMID Next Gen:
River= Asch and Rhys's daughter
Penny= Noi and Pierce's daughter
Jayson and Belle= Rhal and Lady Bish's children
Leo: Leif and Ava's adopted son
Zecke/Jami= Zex's child. Zecke is the deadname and is used in the past. Jami is the name they have chosen
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Bullying Prevention Day at school*
Teacher: Zoey, what would you do if one of your classmates viciously teased you again and again?
Zoey: Oh, that’s easy. I’d take a pencil out of my pencil case—
Teacher: To write something to your teacher?
Zoey: —make sure that it’s really sharp, and ram it into their eye at full tilt! My dad always says the pencil is mightier than the sword because they can’t outlaw bringing pencils to school!
Teacher: *internal screaming*
(Zane’s teaching her well🥲)
*The Kids are playing Chess*
Bacon: *easily beats everyone because he knows how to play*
Penny: *doesn’t know the rules, but wins anyway*
Alina: *doesn’t know the rules, and loses*
Zoey: *knows the rules, but still loses to those who don’t*
Belle: Actually, you can’t do that, because I said so.
Sam: They named a board game after cheese?
Zoey: *looks at Bacon*
Zoey: Baby boy. Baby.
Zoey: *looks at Penny*
Zoey: Evil.
*while waiting outside the principal’s office*
Belle: What are you in for?
Alina: Oh, they just want to know if it’s cool if I miss my classes tomorrow to run sound and lights for a presentation in the auditorium. What about you?
Belle: I stabbed a kid with a screwdriver.
Alina:
Alina:
Alina: We live very different lives.
Belle: Yes we do.
Jack: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Belle: 'Prettiest Smile'
Penny: 'Nicest Personality'
Zoey: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Bacon: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'
*during a group project*
Jack: *does 99% of the work*
Sam: *has no idea what’s going on*
Zoey: *says she’s gonna help but does not*
Jay: *disappears at the very beginning and doesn’t show up again until the very end*
Lukas: Hey, Pen, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds?
Penny: Yes?
Lukas: Well, it turns out they're all out for the next five days.
Penny: Fuck.
Lukas: It's gonna be a fun week!
Penny: I'm going to Bacon's house.
Lukas: Nuh-uh. Through sickness and health, motherfucker.
(Lukas stays with Ein and Penny when the Daemos go to the Summit to protect Asch)
'Can I copy the homework?'
Jack: I can help you with it!
Penny: Yeah, sure.
Bacon: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.
Zoey: lol nope.
Lukas: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!
Sam: *Read 5:55pm*
Jack: I am the left brain, I am the left brain. "I work really hard until my inevitable death" brain. You've got a job to do, you better do it right and the right way is with the left brain's might.
Sam: I LIKE OREOS AND PUSSY-
Jacob: I know every song to ever exist. It doesn't matter if it's from the past, present or the future.
Sam: Oh yeah? Then continue this.
Sam: I don't cook I don't clean-
Jacob: So let me tell you how I got this ring.
Jacob & Sam: .....
Jacob & Sam: GOBBLE ME, SWALLOW ME-
Ein: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Penny.
Noi, sighing: You just said it again.
Penny:
Ein: I am not a role model.
(I know this one combines the two, but I don't care. I have an idea where River ends up in the Connected AU anyway)
(insert adult of your choice), filling out legal paperwork: Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?
Lukas: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.
River: I personally was created via Daemos magic.
Bacon: I just straight up spawned lol.
Zoey: Your existence is confusing.
Penny: How so?
Zoey: I despise you, but the thought of anything bad happening to you upsets me.
Jack: I feel like I can be myself around you.
Bacon: You’re weird and quiet around me.
Jack: Yep.
Aph: Your smile? It makes my day.
Aaron: Your happiness? I live for that.
Alina: A room? Get one.
Lilith: Hotel? Trivago.
Penny: If I had a face like yours, I'd put it on a wall and throw a brick at it.
Zoey: If I had a face like YOURS, I'd put it on a brick and throw a wall at it.
Ein: I hate to tell you this, but one of you was adopted.
Penny & Bacon:
Penny: Only one...?
(For context, Bacon is a literal carbon copy of Blaze while Penny looks like a younger female Noi)
Kayla: Hey guys, today Kevin pushed me, so I'm starting a kickstarter to put him down.
Kayla: The benefits of killing him are that I would get pushed way less.
Zoey: You think that’s cringe? Moms around the world wait 9 months just to end up naming their kid Jack.
Jack: Hey, fuck you.
MID:
Zex: Respect my non-binary child or I’m gonna identify as a fucking problem.
River: Zex doesn’t look very happy.
Jami: That's his happy. Dad’s just a bitch.
Zex: Have you seen a person named 'Zecke' around here?
Penny: Ugh, yes. He made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.
Zex: It looks fine to me?
Belle: IT USED TO BE WATER!!!
Penny: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.
Leo: Unpopular opinion, not all dogs are good boys.
Penny: Blocked.
Leo: Sometimes, they’re good girls!
Penny: UNBLOCKED!
River: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan.
Penny: We could attack them with hummus.
River: I stand corrected.
Penny: Just keeping things in perspective.
River: Dad, you love me, right?
Rhys: Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.
Ava: How’s practice going?
Leo: Terrible. I want to stab everybody here.
Ava: Okay, just don’t get any blood on your clothes.
Leo: …you shouldn’t be condoning this.
Ava: Don’t tell me how to live my life.
Belle: What is it called when you kill a friend?
River: Homicide.
Penny: Murder.
Leo: Homiecide.
Jayson: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!?
Penny: Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.
Leo: We could make a boys club!
Jami: I'm non-binary.
Leo:
Leo: Anti-girls club.
Notes:
Bacon is the oldest here at 19, while Jay is the youngest at 10.
As for Mid AU, River is the oldest while Leo is the youngest at 11.
Feel free to ask questions, take care of yourself, and have a great day!
Chapter 6: Celebrating 69 hits!
Summary:
Yeah I know I'm late but idc.
Notes:
There aren't much here, sorry.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Noi: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed.
Leif:
Leif: I'm gonna tell him.
Ava and Rhys: Don't you dare.
Blaze: From now on we will be using code names.
Blaze: You can address me as Eagle One.
Blaze: Garroth is “been there done that”.
Blaze: Daniel is “currently doing that”.
Blaze: Dottie is “it happened once in a dream”.
Blaze: Ein is “if I had to pick a dude”.
Blaze: And Aaron is..
Blaze: Eagle Two
Aaron: Oh thank Irene.
Rhys: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?
Lorelai: Plane tickets?
Ava: Concert tickets?
Leif: Prostitution?
Rhys, holding his broken frames: Glasses.
Ava: I like your top, Rhys!
Asch: I have a name, you know.
Rhys: *sighs* Why? Why are you like this?
Katelyn: I sleep with a gun under my pillow.
Zane: I sleep with a knife.
Pierce: Both of you are pathetic.
Katelyn: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?
Pierce: Noi.
Rhys: I am the left brain, I am the left brain. "I work really hard until my inevitable death" brain. You've got a job to do, you better do it right and the right way is with the left brain's might.
Leif: I LIKE OREOS AND PUSSY-
Leif: To everyone who has treated me poorly; I am sexier than you.
Katelyn: Why do you let me win when we race up the stairs? You’re the faster one.
Travis: Erm... it’s nice to see your smile when you win!
*later*
Katelyn: He’s probably just staring at my ass, isn’t he?
Dante: Yeah, probably.
Leif, bursting into the room: I knew you two were hooking up!
Rhys, not looking up from his book: Really? Prince Asch, why didn’t you tell me? I would have put my book down.
Asch: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*
Rhys, annoyed: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?
Asch: I—
Asch: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.
Ein: I know every song to ever exist. It doesn't matter if it's from the past, present or the future.
Aph: Oh yeah? Then continue this.
Aph: I don't cook I don't clean-
Ein: So let me tell you how I got this ring.
Ein & Aph: .....
Ein & Aph: GOBBLE ME, SWALLOW ME-
Pierce: Do you want to play 20 Questions?
Ein: Sure!
Ein: What's your favorite color?
Pierce, laser fucking focused: Triangle. Do you like men?
Asch: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?
Rhys: Depends. Is your bed comfortable?
Asch: Yes.
Rhys: I'd sleep.
Zenix: Whoa, Sasha, what’s up with that angry face?
Sasha: Gene won’t stop talking about how “Ancient Egyptians were furries”.
Gene: But they were! Just look at all their gods-
Sasha: Oh my Irene, SHUT UP!
Michi: Do you think sex without love is a sin?
Ein: If it is, I’ll see you in hell.
Lorelai: It’s Christmas! Are you all in a Christmas mood?!
Pierce: Merry crisis.
Ava: Jingle bells, jingle bells, single all the way.
Leif: Hoe hoe hoe.
Lorelai: Guys, please.
Ein: Yeah, a partner sounds nice, but a supreme enemy you can make out with in secret sometimes sounds a lot more hardcore.
(Aaron: Get the FUCK away from me)
Dante: That shirt looks great, Katelyn.
Katelyn: Thank you.
Dante: But I bet it would look even better on Travis's floor.
Travis: Are you hitting on Katelyn... for me?
*at the supermarket*
Ava: All right, the last item on the list is "virgin oil."
Ava:
Ava: Wow. Imagine being an item and still being called a virgin.
(My next Gen)
Lukas, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy.
Penny: I will short out the language center of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.
Ein: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming?
Zane: Can everyone in this godforsaken group please learn the skill called "Think Before You Speak"?
Aph: Ya know... it might be.
Gene, drunk as hell: sapnu puaS.
Zenix: What??
Sasha: What language is that.
Gene: Turn your phone 180 degrees.
*Gene was removed from the groupchat*
Pierce: As top in this relationship, I think we should-
Noi: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me!
Notes:
Yeah, I know we're no longer at 69 hits, but I was spring cleaning and not in the mood to gather them up.
And oof, I think I'm pushing the teen and up rating.......
Chapter 7: OMI 100 HITS!
Summary:
Bro, I love you guys so damn much! Thank you for 100 hits. This is insane.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The fandom: We’ve only had Noi for a day and a half but if anything happened to him we would kill everyone in this room and then ourselves.
*The Boys when asked about their earlier confession of love*
Travis: Yeah, you're lucky. I like you.
Daniel: I'd understand if you didn't feel the same way...
Zane: *has a panic attack* What confession?
Gene: *winks* I know, babe. You like me too.
Laurence: So what? Are you going to date me or not?
Aaron: It was a dare.
Ein: I think I need a hug...
Noi: Good thing I'm hug shaped!
*45 minutes later*
Ein: You... you can let go now.
Noi: No, I absolutely cannot.
Ein: Noi, we’ve been cuddling for over an hour
Noi: *muffled* mmmmhm :)
Ein: Fuck. I should be annoyed but you’re adorable.
(while Ava was on Daemos)
Ava, watching Asch and Rhal fight: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they get hurt?
Lady Bish, not bothered by the chaos: It’s fine. They’re too evenly matched to hurt each other.
Ava: Then... who’s the strongest out of you three?
Asch: Lady Bish.
Rhal: Bish.
Lady Bish: Me.
Rhys: You are irrationally angry 365 days a year.
Asch: Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Do you guys think I have anger issues?
Rhys: Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.
KC: How is spring not everyone’s favorite season? The trees are PINK, guys!
Katelyn: Allergies are also a problem, y'know.
KC: But pink.
Zane: And it's hot.
KC: PINK!
Asch, playing a video game: This game is so frustrating! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!
Ava: Ok, I think it’s time to turn off the game for a little while.
Asch: But I’m having fun!
Aph: Do you support gay rights?
Pierce: ...I’m literally gay...
Kim: He’s avoiding the question!
Asch: I have lots of friends!
Rhys: Name one.
Asch: Well, there’s-
Rhys: Name one you haven’t gotten incredibly angry at.
Asch: Hey, that’s not fair, then there isn’t any!
Ava: Rhys noticed only today that he can label his email inboxes, but he took apart his entire bloody laptop two weeks ago.
Leif: This reminds me of the Rhys who couldn’t turn on the coffee maker, but remembers about 500 digits of pi.
Ava: I’ll be delighted to inform you that this is the very same Rhys.
Dante: If I were a drink, I'd be Cherry Vanilla Coke. If you were a drink, what would you be?
Zane, who was dragged there by Garroth: Bleach.
Gene, also dragged there: Sewage.
Laurence: ...Please calm down, edgelords.
(Asch got caught misbehaving...)
Asch: So, what, now I'm just supposed to do anything Rhys does? I mean, what if he jumped off a cliff?
Lady Grandma: If Rhys were to jump off a cliff, he would've done his due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Rhys jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.
Rhal: You jump off a cliff!
Lady Bish: Gladly, provided Rhys did first.
Aph: You know, sometimes I really think I can be too straight.
Ein, covered in bi merch and sipping an iced coffee: Sucks to be you.
Asch: Come on, Prisoner! How many times do I have to apologize?
Ava: Once!
Asch: ...No.
Dante: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life.
Lucinda: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back...
Gene: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.
Zane: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years.
Travis: I knew I lost that potential somewhere.
Aphmau: Mental stability, my old friend!
Dante: Geez, could you guys lighten up a little?
Zane: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven’t decided yet' is typically a good response.
Aphmau: Just because I'm too short to reach the lowest shelf in the cabinet doesn't mean you shouldn't watch out for your kneecaps.
Gene: 'Person of interest' is almost too flattering.
Gene: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'A man has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.'
Pierce: I like to play this game called nap roulette. I take a nap and don’t set an alarm. Will it be 20 minutes or 4 hours? Nobody knows. It’s risky and I like it.
Aphmau: *Screams*
Ein: *Screams louder to assert dominance*
KC: Should we do something?!
Kim, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.
Aph, setting down a card: Ace of spades
Pierce, pulling out an Uno card: +4
Ein, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you!
Zane, trembling: What are you playing?!
Pierce: I never tell people off the bat that I'm gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm gay right?" and watch the look of terror on their face.
Ein:
Ein: I like you.
Ava: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Pierce and Noi's convo?
Leif: Me. I'm in the laundry basket.
Asch: I'm in the washing machine.
Rhys: I'm in the closet.
Ava: We accept you Rhys. <3
Rhys: No, I'm literally in the closet.
Ava: Love is love. <3
(teen Daemos AU)
Ava: I’m not mad, I just need to know why you two had a fake ID.
Pierce: *Incoherent mumbling*
Ava: Huh?
Noi: …You need to be 18 to hold the puppies at PetCo.
Rhys, about a fight between Asch and Leif: It scares me how many knives were involved.
Ava: There… weren’t any knives involved though?
Rhys: That’s what scares me.
(MID Season 2)
*after the Squad's plan goes horribly wrong*
Rhys: Now it seems we're back at square one– finding Princess Ava.
Asch: For the record, I already found her.
Noi: And you let her get away before we could have a meaningful conversation.
Asch: She stabbed me!
Leif: I'm surprised she waited this long, Asch. We've all had the urge.
Anyone ever: Do you always have to attack me with your words?
Zane: Would you prefer me to use a brick?
Asch: I’m really glad “fight me” has replaced “sue me” in the common vernacular because I don’t have money, but I do have fists and I am always angry.
Aaron: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.
Pierce: My level of gay has reached “sighing deeply whenever anything extremely heterosexual happens near me”.
Ein: I was arrested for being too cool.
Zane: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.
Aph: Zane, you need to react when people cry!
Zane: I did. I rolled my eyes.
Rhys: If I ever had a child, I imagine they would be a lot like you.
Leif: Oh. Thanks—
Rhys: Which is probably why I’ve never reproduced.
Rhys: Unfollow me if you think the Earth is flat.
Ava: *seriously pretends to be a flat-earther to antagonize the anti-flat-earther.
Pierce: *neutral but makes polls to start fights, "Is the Earth flat? Let's discuss!"*
Asch: *not a flat-earther but makes "the Earth may be flat but this ass ain't" jokes for viral tweets*.
Leif: *actual flat-earther.*
Noi: Good. Thanks, Dad.
Asch: You just called Rhys “dad”. You just said “thanks, Dad.”
Noi: What?! No, I didn’t! I said “thanks, man”.
Rhys: Do you see me as a father figure, Noi?
Noi: No! If anything I see you as a bother figure ‘cause you’re always bothering me!
Ava: Hey! Show your father some respect!
Ava: Where’s Leif?
Asch: Around.
Ava: Around?
Ava: You don’t have any idea, do you?
Leif, dropping down from above: Did you know there’s a space above the ceiling?
Pierce: This bloodline ends with me.
Zane: That's the fanciest way I've ever heard someone say "I'm gay".
Aph: How are you today?
Zane: Please don’t make me think about my life.
Noi: Rhys’s amazing at concentrating. Once he starts reading, the only way he’ll notice you is if you take his book away. Not even if you hit him or shake him!
Ava: That was him ignoring you.
Noi: You deserve a reward for putting up with me.
Pierce: You are my reward.
*meanwhile*
Asch: You deserve a reward for putting up with me.
Rhys: True, you can be really difficult at times.
Rhys: The saying “it is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission” no longer applies to Leif.
Lucinda: I'm a witch. I mixed some herbs and crystals together and now my spider knows the f-word.
Ava: Hey, it’s your turn to wash the dishes.
Leif: I’ll wash the walls red with your blood.
Ava: Okay, but before that, wash the dishes. Also, use soap this time.
Pierce: *sighs*
Ein: You bored?
Pierce: Yes.
Ein: Wanna start drama for no reason?
Pierce: I thought you’d never ask.
Pierce, talking to Ava: Well Ava, whenever I’m about to do something, I think ‘would Leif do that?’ and if he would, I do not do that thing.
Ava: …
Leif, from the distance: He’s not wrong though!
Aph: I thought you were going to give me a book recommendation or something.
Pierce: *laughs* Book recommendation? I can’t read!
Aph: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like ‘look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I’m losing.’
Aaron: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.
Judge: Does the defendant have any special requests?
Zane: Death penalty.
Garroth, from the gallery: Zane, it’s just a parking ticket.
Zane, whispering into the mic: Please kill me.
Rhal: Don’t mansplain this to me!
Lady Bish: Wh- I’m a woman! I can't mansplain anything to you!
Rhal: …Well, I’m a feminist, and I believe a woman can do anything a man does!
Zane: When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying.
Ein: And?
Zane: And you are.
Ava, slamming pots and pans together to the rhythm of "Give it to me, I'm worth it": I didn't get no sleep cause a' y'all! Y'all never gonna sleep cause a' me!
Asch, to Rhys: Well, one of us has to be wrong and it’s not going to be me.
Rhal: I wish I had more enemies.
Lady Bish: I’m sure you will someday, honey.
Leif: What are you talking about Rhys? You love it here!
Rhys: I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome.
Rhys: There are three ways to handle a difficult situation. The right way, the wrong way, and the Leif way.
Noi: Isn't that the wrong way?
Rhys: Yes, but it's faster.
Asch, stubbing his toe: Ow, son of a bi-
Rhys, motioning to Noi: Prince Asch! Noi!!!
Asch: ... iscuit. Son of a biscuit.
Rhys: Nice save.
Asch: Yeah. Fucking nailed it.
Asch: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Noi.
Ava: You just said it again.
Noi:
Asch: I am not a role model.
Leif: Pierce, look what you did! You made Mom upset!
Noi: Mom, please don’t cry, we’re sorry!
Pierce: I’m sorry Mom... :(
Rhys, near tears: I DON’T REMEMBER GIVING BIRTH TO ANY OF YOU!
Rhys: So, how long have you and Pierce been together?
Noi: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Pierce and I are not together. No. No.
Rhys: Really? Sixteen ‘nos’? Really?
(I can't believe I just counted all the 'no's. There are, in fact, 16)
Aph: Your future self is talking shit about you right now.
Ein: Jokes on them. I'll ruin their fucking life.
Zane: No, this is not a mess. You know what I consider a mess?
Garroth: Your life?
Zane: I- well yes, but-
Aphmau: What's wrong with you?
Zane: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.
Rhys: What’s your favorite color?
Leif: Stop asking stupid questions. Ask me something logical and mature.
Rhys: How many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of sulfuric acid at STP?
Leif: My favorite color is green.
Notes:
Thank you so much for reading, whether you be guest, writer, or everyday reader. I wish you a very good day and if your day's already shit, I hope it gets better soon.
Take care of yourself.
Chapter 8: Moods
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Pierce: I'm tired.
Rhys: You slept for three hours last night! Why are you surprised?!
Pierce: I'm not surprised. I just wanted to complain about it.
Ein: I refuse to apologize for being weird or off-putting. That’s actually your problem. I’m having a fantastic time!
Asch: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!?
Leif: Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.
Ava: I’m going to get so much done today.
Rhys: I’ll hold you to that.
*8 hours later*
Rhys: So how much did you get done?
Ava: One thing.
Rhys: Well, that’s one more than usual.
Asch: You know what? Let’s give it a go. What’s the worst that could happen?
Rhys: Humiliation, embarrassment, fire, explosions, collisions, tears, nudity and death.
Pierce: I have one brain cell and it bounces around in my skull like a windows screen saver.
Pierce: When it hits a corner perfect, I’m allowed one good idea.
Aph: Being half asleep and feeling someone gently plant a kiss on your forehead is one of the purest kinds of love in the world.
Zane: Unless you're home alone.
Asch: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?
Rhys: Depends. Is your bed comfortable?
Asch: Yes.
Rhys: I'd sleep.
Pierce: What the fuck? People actually tell their crushes they like them??
Ein: What the hell do you do?
Pierce: I die? What kinda question…
Noi: I'm a nice person, but I'm about to start throwing rocks at people.
Ava: Did you just refer to a knife as a “people-opener”?
Leif:
Leif: …Should I not have?
Rhal: *sighs* I have no friends...
Pierce:
Pierce: *coughs* Bitch, what am I? A roach?!
Zane: No, this is not a mess. You know what I consider a mess?
Garroth: Your life?
Zane: I- well yes, but-
Asch: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Noi.
Ava: You just said it again.
Noi:
Asch: I am not a role model.
Aphmau: Unpopular opinion, not all dogs are good boys.
Pierce: Blocked.
Aph: Sometimes, they’re good girls!
Pierce: UNBLOCKED!
Leif: What are you talking about Rhys? You love it here!
Rhys: I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome.
Rhys: The saying “it is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission” no longer applies to Leif.
Aph: How are you today?
Zane: Please don’t make me think about my life.
Ein: I’m sorry for being annoying.
Ein: It will happen again.
Pierce, to Aph: I'd make fun of your height but there isn't enough to make fun of.
Aaron: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.
Garroth: You need to be more careful!
Zane, who was dragged into Garroth's issue: Careful? CAREFUL?! I'LL CAREFULLY WRAP MY HANDS AROUND YOUR THROAT-
Aph: If I stay in bed I'll be warm. If I get in the shower, I'll also be warm. But the distance between the bed and shower? No. That is not warm.
Asch: Where are my fucking keys?
Rhys: Asch, Noi is around, can you say it a little nicer?
Asch: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEYS?!
Ava: Nothing in life is free.
Noi: Love is free!
Asch: Adventure is free.
Rhys: Knowledge is free.
Leif: Everything is free if you take it without paying.
Aphmau: *Screams*
Ein: *Screams louder to assert dominance*
KC: Should we do something?!
Kim, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.
Zane: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven’t decided yet' is typically a good response.
Aph: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you.
Aaron: 10 times 0 is still 0 though.
Aph: Jokes on you, I can't do math.
Noi: There’s no “I” in team, but there is one in pizza.
Ava: So, you’re not going to share?
Noi: I’m not going to share.
(When they were smol kids)
???: I can be your partner for the next race.
Gene: Sorry, ???. It's a sibling race.
Dante: Maybe there's a contest for lonely children after this.
Gene: It's only children, Dante. A lonely child is what you're gonna be when I sell you!
KC: How is spring not everyone’s favorite season? The trees are PINK, guys!
Katelyn: Allergies are also a problem, y'know.
KC: But pink.
Zane: And it's hot.
KC: PINK!
Leif: Hold on! I’m having one of those things... a headache with pictures.
Ava: What the fuck?
Asch: He’s having an idea.
Notes:
Lol, hope you liked it.
Btw, would you guys like a headcanon page? Y'all can choose the topic (just not NSFW, plz). Be warned that if you agree this it will likely mostly be MID or Noi, Ein, and Pierce in ASMP.
Also if it had multiple people in the quote, feel free to guess who was my "mood".
Chapter 9: Headcanon (Appearances, hobbies and Next Gen)
Summary:
Thanks to sharktidetheecho for suggesting this!
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
- Pierce's hair in MID was longer than his currently in ASMP. Like, MID hair was to his hips, ASMP hair is just his back.
- Dante and Gene look almost alike, if it wasn't for Dante dyeing his hair
- On Gene's wiki, it says he has eyebags. But considering they never go away, I think he just has dark circles. As someone who has those, they DO resemble eyebags.
- Pierce first got the idea to grow out his hair from Rhal, who has a small ponytail
- If Ein gets pissed off enough, his eyes can turn green or start flicking back and forth.
- Zane 100% wears eyeliner, along with Gene
- When Laurance was a Shadow Knight (PDH), you better believe he looked edgy too
- Daniel's hair is not actually olive green, it was a dye job gone astray. But he ended up keeping it.
- Pierce and Rhys both like Nat Geo Wild. Pierce, for the animals, and Rhys, because it teaches him more about Earth
- Werewolf tails are fluffy if kept well. Same with ears.
- Noi taught himself how to learn several other weapons upon getting to the ASMP, now that he had more options and he was still trying to prove himself. As in, daggers (MID), sword, archery, and how to shoot a gun. Is he perfect at all of them? No, but he practices regularly.
- It's canon (check the wiki) that Zane knows how to do hair. So he'll do Aph and KC's if they ask (Not Pierce though)
- Ein and Zane are both 6'2
- Pierce is 6'8 1/2, while Aaron and Rhys are 6'7, Asch and Leif are 6'5, and Noi is 6'0
- Ava is 5'10, Lorelai is 5'6
- Pierce's tattoo is something he has to honor his late father and grandfather
- Noi's necklace is the last thing left to him from his parents.
- In the ASMP, Noi is using a soul to power said necklace that gives him the ability to hide his horns again
Next Gen ahead (for knowledge of everyone, look at my Next Gen quotes):
- Penny mostly drinks Pepsi
- Zane also does Zoey's hair for her
- Bacon has several piercings on his ears (both werewolf and human)
- Penny has a streak of light blue hair among her orange locks
- Bacon is identical to Blaze in every way, somehow managing to get the same nose scar as well (except for the piercings)
- Penny's hair is only to her shoulders, Belle's is to the upper part of her back and is blonde, Zoey has black hair to her legs, Alina and Lilith have black hair that's to their backs, and Kayla's hair is white and slightly past her shoulders
- Jack likes to read and has a talent for writing
- Lukas is into astronomy and has been into other things such as sewing and sports (not at the same time)
- Penny likes to help Noi with his farm and Pierce with his sheep
- Zoey knows a lot of First Aid, including how to help with an asthma attack
- Jay likes to play chess with Jack, while Belle watches
- Sam likes to play soccer, and will play volleyball with Kevin, Kayla, Zoey, Belle, and Lukas (they can NOT put Zoey and Sam on the same team)
MID Next Gen:
(NOTE: Belle and Penny ARE different people here than their Connected ^ counterparts)
- River has her ears pierced, but doesn't always wear her earrings
- Contrary to Rhys, River needs reading glasses, but can see fine otherwise
- Penny has heterochromia, having orange and blue eyes
- River has brown hair to her upper back, Belle is blonde (again) and her hair falls to her lower back, while Penny has brown hair that is usually done up, but undone falls to her thighs
- Leo likes collecting things and giving his weird trinkets to his friends
- Penny enjoys acting and basketball
- Zecke/Jami likes small boxes and will fall asleep in them due to being half-spirit (I mean, they even have one in their closet for comfort)
- Zecke/Jami wants to be just like Zex
- River learned how to make ice cream at some point. She will not tell Rhys
- Belle likes ballroom dancing
- Jay is very sadistic and likes to have everything his way only, yet is flexible and good at making the outcome what he wants it to be
Notes:
That's all for now! Let me know if you'd like to see another one. In the meanwhile, I'll get back on the quotes lol
Chapter 10
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Rhys: How late were you up last night?
Pierce & Asch, in tandem: Me?
Rhys: No, not you two. You stay up late all the time.
Rhys, to Noi: You.
Ava: Why are you two always out during rainstorms?
Pierce: It’s peaceful and refreshing. I love the smell of rain.
Asch: Leif bet me I couldn’t get struck by lighting, but he’s WRONG.
Laurence: It's locked. You got a lock pick?
Dante: Yeah-
Garroth: *breaks the door*
Aph, putting her hands over Zane's eyes: Guess who!
Zane: It's either Aph or the cold, clammy hands of death.
Aph, putting her hands away: It's Aphmau!
Zane: Dammit.
*The Daemos's cooking skills*
Rhys: *master chef*
Noi: *knows a few recipes*
Leif: *can follow instructions on a box*
Pierce: *made toast once*
Asch: *banned from the kitchen*
Dante: That shirt looks great, Katelyn.
Katelyn: Thank you.
Dante: But I bet it would look even better on Travis's floor.
Travis: Are you hitting on Katelyn... for me?
Zane: You think that’s cringe? Moms around the world wait 9 months just to end up naming their kid Kim.
Kim: Hey, fuck you.
Pierce: Ooh, let me see! *Takes a piece of paper from Aph*
Aph: ...
Pierce:
Pierce: Oh wait, I can’t read.
Laurence: You bought a taco?
Travis: Yes.
Laurence: From the same truck that hit Garroth?!
Travis, with a mouthful of taco: Well, me starving ain't gonna help him.
Ava: I am small and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that I'm under.
Aph: How high are you?
Zane: Mm, I don’t know how to say it in feet.
Garroth: No, she's asking what drugs are you on.
Zane: Oh, antidepressants, why?
Leif: Can I bother you for a second?
Asch: You're always bothering me, but go ahead.
Ein, after failing a mission: Long story short, this is my grave.......Want me to make you one too?
Ein: I just ended a five year relationship.
Ein simps: Oh no, are you okay?
Ein: It's okay, it wasn't mine. *points to Aph’s body*
Gene: Make no mistake. Not only am I party rocking, but I am also in the house tonight.
Dante: But are you shuffling?
Gene: Everyday.
Sasha: What language are you two speaking??
Ein: A fistfight CAN be romantic.
Ein: I know this isn’t going to end well and I don’t care. So don’t you try and stop me, Pierce!
Pierce: I wasn’t stopping you. I was asking if you had a spare camera so I can record this.
*Everyone is giving advice to Ava*
Rhys: It's okay to ask for help.
Pierce: You're not a burden.
Leif: Murder is okay.
Noi: Your feelings matter.
Garroth, throwing his head into Laurence's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!
Laurence, lovingly stroking his hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.
Noi: Why aren’t you sleeping?
Ein: I’m too busy plotting your murder to sleep, Cookie.
Noi:
Ein: ...The nightmares.
Noi: *wrapping his arms around Ein* Awwww, sweetie-
Garroth: Baby Brother, I need some advice.
Zane: You need advice from ME?
Garroth: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?
A Daemos: I wanna be a knight!
Pierce, a knight: What the fuck do you want this shit for? I kill people, all right? Their blood is on my hands! Every night, when I go to sleep, I see their FUCKING faces staring at me! Their families weep, and I FEEL NOTHING! I’M DEAD INSIDE!
Same Daemos: Man, I want some of that in my life!
Leif: People always shoot down my ideas and I’m sick of it. Two sentences in and everyone’s always shouting “what the fuck? that’s illegal!” and “you can’t do that!”. Like, c'mon, let me talk!
KC: Hey guys! I drew everyone's soul!
Noi: Why is Kim's a monster?
Aph: KC, you forgot Zane's! It's only an empty space!
Zane: Exactly.
Zane: Sure, you're verified on twitter, but are you verified in the eyes of Irene?
Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
Leif: No.
Aph: An apple a day keeps the doctor away!
Zane: An apple a day can keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough.
Asch, texting: I'm sorry. Please talk to me.
Rhys:
Asch: Hello? World's most amazing person?? Babe? Precious cinnamon roll that's too good for this world, too pure?
Rhys: 'Sorry' doesn't bring back my fucking ice cream.
Ein: If bees can be fish and boys can be girls, then why can't Zack love me?
Aph: I thought I was going to have to yell at you, but now I think I should hug you.
Asch: Remember, if you get captured, no matter what they do, don’t talk!
Leif: What if they torture us?
Asch: Just don’t talk!
Noi: Can we scream a little?
Ava: *Turns on the kitchen light*
Pierce: *Sitting at the table, eating bread*
Ava: It’s four in the morning.
Pierce: Turn the light back off.
KC: I'm going the fight the next person who insults Zane!
Zane: I hate myself.
KC: Alright, square up, Zane~kun.
Notes:
Bro, how are we at so many hits?????
I love y'all, seriously, I do. If you're into MID, check out TheWanderingAce's book, it's really fucking good.
Chapter 11: MID But Reversed AU
Summary:
Basically, MID, but the guys are human, and Ava is the Daemos Princess.
Notes:
Note: Things from original canon have been changed, because obviously the guys are human and Ava is the Daemos. I may leave something here for it if y'all want.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Leif: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.
Ava: Scrabble? The word game? Scrabble’s great.
Leif: Not when you’re playing with Rhys, it’s not. He puts words like “ephemeral” and I put words like “dog.”
*Leif drunkenly wanders around the house and Noi is drunkenly giggling*
Rhys, completely sober: *sighs* Well, looks like it's just me and you against the world, Pierce.
Pierce, going to his room: No, just you. *shuts door*
Rhys: Please say words of encouragement to me so I don’t murder Asch and Leif right now.
Pierce: There are no books in prison.
Rhys: *sighs* Thank you.
Noi: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
Pierce: Killed without hesitation.
*Everyone is playing a board game together*
Leif: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.
Pierce: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.
Ava: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.
Rhys: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATIGRAPHIC'.
Leif: *flips the board*
Ava: Is Asch always like this when he loses?
Rhys: Oh, yes. You should've been there for the Great Jenga Tantrum of 2015.
Asch: You bumped that table and you know it!
Asch: Rhys is off at an appointment, so while he’s gone, I’m going to cut the sleeves off all of my shirts.
Rhal: Why?
Asch: He’s like 90% of my impulse control.
*Leif and Asch are sitting in jail together*
Leif: So who do we call?
Asch: I’d call Rhys, but I feel safer in jail
Asch: I’m really glad “fight me” has replaced “sue me” in the common vernacular because I don’t have money, but I do have fists and I am always angry.
Ava, who just learned about dating apps: Who would you swipe right for? Pierce or Leif?
Asch: I would delete the app.
Leif: What are you talking about Rhys? You love it here!
Rhys: I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome.
Rhys: I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. And I’m somehow always feeling both simultaneously.
(Ava passed out from Earth oxygen)
Noi, holding an unconscious Ava: Oh no! Please don’t be dead!
Rhys: Here are two pictures. One of them is your bedroom, and the other is a garbage dumpster. Can you tell which is which?
Leif:
Leif: This one is the dumpster.
Rhys: They’re both your bedroom.
Rhys: Well, Asch, is there anything you would like to say to Leif?
Asch: How do I put this delicately? You’re a horrible roommate and nobody likes you.
Rhys: How about we frame our statement with “When you do this, it makes me feel this”?
Asch: When you live here, it makes me angry. Because you’re a horrible roommate and nobody likes you.
Rhys: Why can't any of you ever clean up after yourselves?
Asch: I have a person who does that for me.
Rhys: Yeah, ME.
Asch: I'm glad you agree.
Ava: Long story short, this is my grave.......Want me to make you one too?
Rhys: See, the problem is, Asch, you’re playing 3D chess. I’m playing 4D.
Asch: I’m playing checkers. I don’t know what the fuck you’re playing.
(Pierce texting the group chat)
Pierce: I'm not naming any names, but SOMEONE deliberately pissed on me at work today.
Pierce: I'm miffed in part because I really like him and he came up to me to say hi and I thought we were going to have a friendly interaction but then all of a sudden he was just... Pissing on me.
Pierce: It has come to my attention that I should probably mention to Ava I work with animals.
(In high school)
Asch: Just heard you failed your finals! LOL.
Noi: Asch, I don't think you know what LOL means...
Asch: I know what it means you fucking normie.
Asch: I'm laughing at you. Stop staring at those anime girls and start studying you fucking weeb.
Pierce: “Struggle with depression” would seem to imply that I am bad at being depressed when I am, in fact, very proficient at being depressed.
*in a group chat*
Pierce: First one to reply is gat.
Pierce: *gay
Pierce: Wait…
Rhys: A person can really hear themselves think out here.
Rhys’s mind: Did you leave the stove on? The front door unlocked!? WILL YOU DIE ALONE!?
Rhys: Well, that was a mistake
Rhys: So, Ava is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.
Noi: Why?
Rhys: Because I've caught her trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.
Ava, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.
Notes:
Hi lovely man/woman/non-binary/what you desire to be called! If you maybe want some headcanons for this AU, I will GLADLY give them.
If not, that's alright! Have a lovely day/noon/night and take care of yourself!
Chapter 12: Another Headcanon Page- MID But Reversed
Summary:
Hello! Today I will be leaving some headcanons for a MID reversed AU! Feel free to use these, I likely won't even tell :P.
Notes:
Hi, I know you may read these and go 'Oh but X doesn't have that or do that!' I'm aware, but they guys are humans now and Ava's the Daemos. So, of course Leif won't have killed people, Pierce won't have as much guilt, Rhys won't be the pupil to Lady Grandma etc. etc.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
- Ava is the princess of Daemos
-The guys all live together in the same apartment, they’re friends but the living situation has made things tense
-Asch is the child to a politician and pretty much pays for everything (Daddy’s money) but is not working himself
-Leif usually takes odd jobs, but is a high school dropout (not much high paying jobs for those)
-Rhys is in college (got an academic scholarship) and works part-time as a server
-Noi is actively seeking out a job
-Pierce wants to look for a job, but isn’t in the best mental state and can’t bring himself to do it
-Mirage is a stray cat that Asch took in, and Johnny is Ava’s spirit
-Ava has teleportation and an energy ability (think her shooting beams)
-Ava is always waking up Pierce and Rhys
- Rhys tends to get more annoyed since he usually wakes up early for school and comes home around 8:30, and then has to do a whole bunch of crap before bed
- Pierce doesn’t care as much but some days gets annoyed when he just can’t force himself out of bed right then.
-Rhal sometimes stops by with his wife, Bianca, who all the guys have nicknamed… ‘Lady Bish’
- Screw you Zex, you’re a cat now
-Ava still has two parents (they’re good parents, okay? I didn’t demonize them because Asch’s dad is shit. No. Asch’s dad remains shit though.)
-Lorelai is still on Daemos and is Ava’s guard (Ava snuck away with the help of Lady Oates)
-Asch is usually helping his grandmother out, and all the other guys act as if she’s their own grandma. (she hits on Pierce as a joke)
-Ava is still antisocial and does still faint sometimes
-Ava has snooped around the apartment (despite promising not to) and has come up with weird names for things she found:
- A leash for Mirage (Pierce walks her): Magic lead
- Pans: Flat curved daggers
- Noi’s cap: Backward helmet
- Pierce’s medicine: magical herbs
- She heavily questioned what Rhys’s homework was (thought it was some kind of scroll, and coded)
-Actually tried to take Pierce’s medicine once, trying to see if it would help the magic crisis, Pierce quickly took it away and hid it, then made her promise to not tell the others
-Rhys tends to chew on his glasses, and Ava at first thought that meant they were edible.
-Asch’s horn ring is now a part of a necklace that his father gave to him
-Leif was kicked out of the house at a young age and grew up mostly on the streets before being adopted. He ended up running away, dropping out of high school
-Out of all the rooms, Rhys’s is the cleanest (hence he caught Ava when she snooped) and the messiest is Leif’s
- Noi’s is the second cleanest, then Pierce’s, then Asch’s
-Most of the guys are NOT in contact with their parents
- Leif- already said, Noi- favoritism, slight abuse, Rhys- they kept pushing him too far which kept causing mental breakdowns and they pushed him farther as a result, Pierce- they kinda dead, so unless he breaking out the ouija board...
-Noi can bake, Rhys can cook, Asch is not allowed in the kitchen
-Pierce sometimes volunteers at the animal shelter and once brought Ava along
- Instead of Ava getting sick, it's the entire group, Leif getting hit first
- Leif is the one to do CPR first too
- Pierce still hangs her in a tree
- Lemme know who you think should get certain scenes for laughs
Notes:
I'm back y'all! This was requested by my friend, Hypnoi, check him out and his fic.
Chapter 13: I'm Dead lol
Notes:
Hey! Sorry that I've been ghost for a while!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Asch: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY-
Ava: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~
Asch: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH-
Lorelai, recording: This is so cute.
Asch: If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.
Aaron: We need a plan to beat them.
Ein: Okay, listen up. First, we fill their shoes with wet cat food.
Everyone:
Ein: Judge me all you want, I get results.
Pierce: Do you want to play 20 Questions?
Ein: Sure!
Ein: What's your favorite color?
Pierce, laser fucking focused: Triangle. Do you like men?
Ein: And I’d love to be sorry for that, but we all know I’ve done much, much worse.
Noi: Asch’s gonna kill me.
Pierce: No, he'll probably make me do it.
Ein: *holds a gun out to Daniel*
Daniel: I-I don't believe in guns.
Ein: Well, trust me, they're very real. Now take it.
Ein: Fight me!
Noi, standing behind him and holding a knife: *mouths* Do not.
Leif: Hey! Wanna hear a joke?
Pierce: Yes.
Leif: Your life!
Pierce: Actually, my life isn’t a joke, jokes have meaning.
Leif: Pierce, no.
Blaze: Listen, we’re done, we’re over! Okay?
Ein: Whatever, bitch, you ain’t never gonna find no one like me.
Blaze: Yeah, that's the point, shithead!
*Elizabeth is “comforting” Ein*
Elizabeth: Stop crying because it’s over. Start smiling because Blaze is someone else’s problem now.
Mac: You have an impressive pain tolerance.
All of the others: Thanks, it's the ✨trauma.✨
Ein: What's my sexuality?! I don't fucking know! I'm not straight, and that's all that matters. Well, maybe that's unfair to the straights. Some of my best friends are straight! Well, one of them. Well, I know him, and Aaron is a perfectly tolerable person in small doses!
(on social media)
Zane: I truly hate it here <3
Katelyn: Now replace “it” with “women”. Not so funny now, is it?
Melissa: Now replace “it” with “women”. Not so funny now, is women?
Ein: Now replace “funny” with “women”. Not so women now, is funny?
Laurence: I’m having a fucking stroke.
Aph: Now replace “stroke” with “baby”. Congratulations!
Ava: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health, so you shouldn't do it.
Pierce: Yes, that's why I bottle up all my emotions, both positive and negative, so it cancels out.
Ava: Th-that's not how that works-
Zenix: Whoa, Sasha, what’s up with that angry face?
Sasha: Gene won’t stop talking about how “Ancient Egyptians were furries”.
Gene: But they were! Just look at all their gods-
Sasha: Oh my Irene, SHUT UP!
Zenix, at Starbucks: Can I get a venti vanilla latte with um, seven espresso shots.
Gene, in line behind him: My Irene, just do cocaine.
Eric: How’s practice going?
Katelyn: Terrible. I want to stab everybody here.
Eric: Okay, just don’t get any blood on your clothes.
Katelyn: …you shouldn’t be condoning this.
Eric: Don’t tell me how to live my life.
Vylad: I’m so jetlagged I can’t even regrender my chorf.
*Everyone stares at Vylad*
Vylad: I don’t even know what I was trying to say.
Asch: All of your existences are confusing.
The Daemos: How so?
Asch: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.
Ein: What is the most illegal thing I can do with one gold?
Michael: Exchange it for a hundred copper, put them all in a sock, and then beat someone to death with it.
Garroth: Wait, if baby oil dissolves condoms, what does it do to babies?
Dante: Believe it or not, babies and condoms are made of different materials.
Travis: It’s like rock paper scissors. Baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby.
Laurence: Rock also defeats baby.
Pierce: What is it called when you kill a friend?
Kim: Homicide.
Zane: Murder.
Ein: Homiecide.
Aph: Your smile? It makes my day.
Aaron: Your happiness? I live for that.
Zane: A room? Get one.
Ein: Hotel? Trivago.
Noi, just joined the group: Who's in charge here?
Kim, shrugging: Usually whoever yells the loudest.
Ein: If you aren't someone the church wanted dead 300 years ago, are you really living?
Ein: If I was married to you I would put poison in your coffee.
Aaron: If I was married to you I’d drink it.
(No hate to you Einron shippers!)
Aph: How long do you reckon it’ll be until Zane finally snaps and commits murder?
Aaron: I’ve been going through life assuming it’s already happened at some point and it’s just that no one was ever able to trace it back to him.
Gene: Hey, Sasha, you're smart, tell me what would happen if I chugged 3 gallons of chloroform.
Sasha: Have you ever been to a mortuary?
Gene: Yea, my grandma lives there.
Zenix: That is the worst response to that question.
Asch: Rhys taught me to think before I act.
Asch: ...So if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured that I thought about it and am confident in my decision.
Ava: Would you rather kill Noi, or—
Leif: Yes, kill him.
Ava: I didn’t say the other thing—
Leif: I don’t need to hear it.
Noi: …I’m feeling a little unsafe.
Rhys: Hey Ava, can I get some ice cream?
Ava: Only a spoonful!
Rhys: *Proceeds to pull out a comically large spoon.*
Aph: :)
Zane: >:(
Aph: Turn that frown upside down!
Zane: ):<
Aph: Not sure what I was expecting…
Laurence: Think you can unlock the door for us?
Zane: Sure, I just need a couple of things. Laurence, can I have your credit card?
Laurence: Sure, just make sure not to bend it.
Zane: Thanks. Now Garroth, break down the door.
Laurence: Huh!?!
KC: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it.
KC: Everything will be fine. You have no choice.
Zane: What the fuck kind of pep talk is that?
KC: Ominous positivity.
Notes:
Hello my readers! I have 2 questions today:
What is a ship you LOVE and want to see more of? (Don't worry, I'm not allowing ship wars, idk if someone answers your NOTP, this is a safe space). Mine would have to be Noi x Ein x Pierce, Noi x Ein, Ein x Blaze, or Asch x Rhys.
Second, I have a small fic centered around Aphmau Next Gen OCs. It's in a Percy Jackson inspired AU. I will get to the parent reveal part and will end it there. (may make more if in mood). Would you be interested in that fic, being all OC-centered and all?
Chapter 14: More + A/N
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Aph: If you got arrested what would be the charges?
Pierce: Theft.
KC: Disturbing the peace.
Zane: Aggravated assault.
Aph: Arson.
Ein: All of the above. In that order, probably.
Asch: *Kicks the door open, looking panicked*
Ava: What did you do?!
Noi: NOBODY DIED!
Ava: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!
Zane: Love is weakness and an evolutionary mistake.
Garroth: You’re literally making a Valentine’s day card for Kawaii~Chan.
Zane, pointing his hot glue gun towards Garroth: You’re on thin fucking ice.
Asch: I'm at a loss for words!
Leif: Despite being ‘at a loss for words’, Asch yelled at me for the next 45 minutes.
*At the police station*
Elizabeth: Hi, I’m here for Ein.
Police officer: Who’s Ein?
Elizabeth: Ah, you must be new.
Dante: Guys, my brother here is bilingual.
Gene: Yes.
Dante: Which means he likes both boys and girls.
Gene: Ye- wait, what-
Laurence: Dante, that's not what bilingual means-
Dante: Shhh, it's okay, Gene. I still love you, man.
(Ha lol he both. At least bi in canon, but his VA speaks Spanish and English (obvi) soooooooooo)
KC, staring upwards: So, *insert any ex* broke up with me… haha…
Aph: Why are you looking up?
KC: I need to cry, but my foundation was 48 dollars!
Michi: Do you think sex without love is a sin?
Ein: If it is, I’ll see you in hell.
Lorelai: It’s Christmas! Are you all in a Christmas mood?!
Pierce: Merry crisis.
Ava: Jingle bells, jingle bells, single all the way.
Leif: Hoe hoe hoe.
Lorelai: Guys, please.
Ein: You’re kind of a pushover, aren’t you, Noi?
Noi: …I’m sorry.
Ein: See!? That’s exactly what I’m talking about!
Zane: What must it be like to live in your head? Are there happy ponies in there? It’s really something how utterly delusional your optimism is. If I didn’t hate you so much, I might even be impressed.
Kawaii~Chan: Hurray! I got a heavily qualified and slightly sarcastic compliment from Zane~kun!
Ava, proudly: I slept.
Lorelai: Is that so much of a rare thing that you have to say it?
Aph: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?
Zane, turning to Pierce: How tall are you?
(sadly this can’t be Ein because I headcanon that they’re the same height.)
The Fandom: You’re alive.
Ein: No need to sound so disappointed.
Asch: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!?
Leif: Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.
Asch: We’ll get back into there or die trying.
Rhys: No one’s dying.
Asch: Not with that attitude.
Zane: I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
Lorelai: Happy Throwback Thursday! Here’s a throwback to when Leif ate an entire tube of lipstick.
Leif, whining: But why would it be cherry-flavored if you can’t eat it?!
Laurence: What do you want for breakfast?
Zane: I WISH TO DEVOUR THE UNBORN.
Garroth:
Garroth: He wants eggs.
Pierce: Prince Asch, we need that.
Asch, holding Noi over a trash can: Nope.
Ava: Gimme it—
Asch: It’s garbage.
Rhys: How late were you up last night?
Pierce & Asch, in tandem: Me?
Rhys: No, not you two. You stay up late all the time.
Rhys, to Noi: You.
Ava: Why are you two always out during rainstorms?
Pierce: It’s peaceful and refreshing. I love the smell of rain.
Asch: Leif bet me I couldn’t get struck by lighting, but he’s WRONG.
Laurence: It's locked. You got a lock pick?
Dante: Yeah-
Garroth: *kicks in the door*
Aph, putting her hands over Zane's eyes: Guess who!
Zane: It's either Aph or the cold, clammy hands of death.
Aph, putting her hands away: It's Aphmau!
Zane: Dammit.
Dante: That shirt looks great, Katelyn.
Katelyn: Thank you.
Dante: But I bet it would look even better on Travis's floor.
Travis: Are you hitting on Katelyn... for me?
Zane: You think that’s cringe? Moms around the world wait 9 months just to end up naming their kid Kim.
Kim: Hey, fuck you.
Pierce: Ooh, let me see! *Takes a piece of paper from Aph*
Aph: ...
Pierce:
Pierce: Oh wait, I can’t read.
Laurence: You bought a taco?
Travis: Yes.
Laurence: From the same truck that hit Garroth?!
Travis, with a mouthful of taco: Well, me starving ain't gonna help him.
Ein: Let's all agree that going up the stairs on all fours is actually the best experience on Earth.
Zane: Conversely, going down the stairs on all fours is actually the most terrifying experience on Earth.
Ein: I just ended a five year relationship.
Ein simps: Oh no, are you okay?
Ein: It's okay, it wasn't mine. *points to Aph’s body*
Rhys: Why are you acting like this?
(ASMP)Pierce: Oh, I’m not acting. I really am like this.
*insert person of your choice*: This can’t get any worse. Can it?
Ein: Sure it can - just give me a minute.
Katelyn: The only straight I am is a straight-up badass.
Pierce, to Noi: If you ever feel stupid or weak or powerless, just remember that I am not. I am out there, very dangerous, and I am looking for you. Good luck.
Zane: Goodnight to the love of my life, KC, and fuck the rest of y'all.
Ein: Hostage or not, sometimes it’s nice being held.
Michael, who just kidnapped him: Are you okay?
Rhys: I hate to disagree with you, but-
Asch: Please, you love to disagree with me. It’s your favorite thing to do.
Ein, knocking on the door: Pierce, open up!
Pierce: It all started when I was a kid.
Ein: That’s not what I-
Noi: Let him finish!
Aph: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?
KC: We're chopsticks!
Aph: Well... that's cute!
Aph: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly?
Zane: No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.
Garroth: You got a date yet, Laurance?
Laurance: No...
Garroth: Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!
(when I tell you this shoulda happened in PDH…)
Ein: Wow, they really hate us.
Pierce: Yes, perhaps they’re homophobic.
Ein: But we’re not gay, Pierce.
Pierce:
Ein:
Pierce: We’re not?
Ein: I didn't drink that much last night.
Aph: You were flirting with Noi.
Ein: So what? He’s my partner.
Aph: You asked if he was single.
Aph: And then you cried when he said he wasn’t.
Aaron, trying to flirt: So, you come around here often?
Aph, confused: I mean, this is my house, so yeah.
Asch: I’m not stupid, you know.
Rhys: Well, you’re doing a really good impression of it!
Ein: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon.
Aaron: A spear?
Ein: BLOCKED.
Pierce: I'm tired.
Rhys: You slept for three hours last night! Why are you surprised?!
Pierce: I'm not surprised. I just wanted to complain about it.
Notes:
Hey y'all. I'm really fucking sorry I haven't been posting. I just got out of school for summer break Life's just been shit and Writer's Block is hitting harder than a freight train. One of my documents for my Minecraft Creepypasta fanfiction got deleted in April and I haven't recovered, which sounds stupid, but I miss writing those characters and something in my mind won't let me make a new doc.
On top of that, I can't seem to finish anything. I think I'll finish posting the one fic I got going on and take a break. I'll probably still update this, as it doesn't stress me or anything. Just that a lot of fics I said I'd try to write... aren't going to be written for a while. I'm truly sorry, but it'll take more time than I planned.
I love you all and appreciate that y'all read my stuff. We're actually lowkey close to 1,000 hits and it's mind-blowing.
Chapter 15: Talk Headcanons?
Notes:
Hey y'all! I'm gonna drop some headcanons after canon shit took off the wiki (and maybe some I pulled out of my ass). I really don't care if you use them. We can't OWN a headcanon.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
- Because Aaron is scared of vacuums, he is a VERY good sweeper. And will leave if you hafta vacuum a rug. Like, bolt.
- So to explain why at the end of MS, Aaron is blind and suffering memory loss, yet ASMP Aaron doesn't, apparently both can be the result of a brain injury. As in, temporary blindness and amnesia. In mine, Aaron has regained sight (not as well as he once had but...) and some memories. Some are still lost.
- I do believe in the Ein-Aph half-sibling/Abused Ein headcanon
- Michael always had a weird fondness yet hatred of Ein. Seeing him both as a son/mentor, yet as a liability.
- 'Christopher Escalante, his VA, has supported calling Ein pansexual on a Tumblr post and shared another post of another user calling him bisexual.' I side with the majority of the fandom that he's bi, but I think he's bi with a preference for men, since I've given him more male crushes.
- Crushes I gave him: Aph (canon), Michi (ex, non-canon), Blaze (ex, maybe canon in Angelsville? They had a son there...), Aaron, Daniel, Pierce, and Noi.
- Since Dante has a peanut allergy, I fully headcanon that Gene carried an Epi-Pen for him when they were in PDH (well, in the years they were both there).
- I would like to claim a problem with this: 'Zane is blind in the right eye because Garroth accidentally threw a snowball at his eye when they were kids. Both eyes look the same despite that.'...... Would there not be scarring? Because I decided he wasn't insecure enough, I decided yes!
- Why is Zane scared of/ hate hamsters? Simple. One fucking bit him when he was young. Like, broke the skin bit him.
- Fuck you, Aphmau, I'm reviving our boi Blaze. He needs to be with Daniel (or Ein, whatever mood I'm in) and parent Bacon! I also refuse to leave denial.
- Blaze's birthday is literally 4/20. Ein gave him a LOT of shit about that.
- Blaze has monochromacy (you only see white, gray, and black. Like, he was unaware he had two differently colored eyes.) and used to hate art when he was younger. Especially if the crayons had had the paper labelling them taken off.
- Since Daniel doesn't like germs, he regularly had hand sanitizer on a keychain on his backpack. He also won't share a drink or touch food after someone's bitten it.
- Dante lost his marbles, even not noticing that Laurance was around (canon), Laurance eventually called Gene and Maria to get Dante back (resulting in Maria staying for a while)
- Laurance babysat Caleb when he got past the baby/toddler points, hence how Bacon and Caleb befriended each other.
- Bacon and Caleb were also sent to PDH (Blaze and Ein sending Bacon to their old school, being too lazy to check for other options and since PDH didn't do Cadenza or Laurance wrong)
- Dante is working on himself and his bad cheating habit
- Like how Gene won't tell Dante about the high school days, Dante refuses to tell Gene about his cheating
-This is because once Gene told Aph that his first relationship didn't work out because he thought his gf was cheating him. I can assume that this means Gene is strictly against cheating.
- Gene taught Laurance how to pick locks, who taught Garroth, who taught Zane.
- Werewolves can now get the Zoomies because I said so and it's funny. Just imagine Aaron with zoomies.
- Garroth and Kawaii~Chan carry inhalers for Zane
- Laurance, KC, and Noi will have whole-ass rants or discussions in Japanese.
- Similarly, if Gene and Aph are arguing at work, they will argue in Spanish.
- KC may not be able to talk with cats, but Zex can!
- In my MID Next Gen, Zex and Jami will have private conversations in Spirit/Cat
- Michael was able to spiritually able to be around whenever he didn't feel like possessing Terry
-Ein liked this more as Michael couldn't physically harm him
- Michael used to grab Ein by his chin, now Ein hates it. Doesn't matter if it's Pierce and Noi, he will jerk away and/or swat their hand away
- I headcanon Travis as pansexual, Garroth as bi, Laurance as bi, and Dante is questioning.
- Gene has insomnia, but he doesn't have eyebags, instead dark circles
- Note: They are NOT the same, as one with dark circles. Dark circles don't go away, eyebags do. And since Gene always has the 'eyebags' under his eyes....
- Noi had electricity and healing magic
- However, electricity is a magic that takes YOUR energy to make the energy, so it's both OP and sucks.
- Noi learned Japanese to be seen as 'better' than something than the other Daemos, as he is the only one that can speak a second verbal language
- Pierce learned ASL to communicate with Daemos' in his army that were deaf/hard-of-hearing.
- He also has sworn a few times in it, once doing the sign for 'bitch' while Asch was yelling at him
- Both MID and ASMP Pierce can't read. While Pierce pretends to be confident about this, it does bother him
- Daemos magic 'focuses' on certain things (things that require more magic than their basic tasks). Like Asch and Rhal with fire, Rhys and Bish with ice, their powers. Well, to explain why we never saw Pierce's...........
- Pierce has a genetic condition preventing his magic from focusing. It is NOT an overpowered ability however. If he were to try fire, he would have no control of it, for example. He can only safely use it for basic tasks such as cleaning himself, hiding his horns, etc. Out of all of them, he has the most magic remaining, yet the spells Rhys casts could be dangerous or unstable if Pierce attempted them.
- Rhys is fucking stressed. Hence why he tends to lash out at smaller things. The stress and frustration find their outlet and.......
- Rhys is scared of heights (acrophobia). First because who knows how deep it could be, and now because 'wtf, why is that so deep?!'
- Asch truly does care for his knights, yet they themselves don't believe it
- Daemos do have emo phases. Asch had the longest
- Leif's behavior towards the guys? He's trying to push them away, like how people with abandonment issues tend to do
- Zex's soul is bonded with the soul of a spirit
- Zex was born without horns and magic, and yes, he is bitter about it. Most who brought it up did not live to bring it up again
- Lady Bish 'wears the pants' in her and Rhal's marriage
- I personally like the ol' 'I married him for money/power, why am I falling in love with him?!' So......... Rhal, I'm not letting you be hurt.
- Rhal has a bit of social anxiety, considering the fact that he seemed scared to go to the Summit
- Pierce refuses to be left alone with Lady Grandma
- Hey, cursed thought time, imagine Zex on catnip. Your day has been ruined? Great!
-No I love you bbys plz don't have your day be ruined....
- I like Zane's SMP cat named Pepperjack, I say KC gave it to him
- ASMP Pierce was always there underneath Pierce's stoic exterior, hence his 'Hmph. Catch.' since it was kinda a 'I want to watch the world burn'.
- Pierce first became MID Pierce as a coping mechanism. His parents and unborn sister had died, and the group fought a lot, plus both Rhal and Asch wanted him under their wings, and he shut down to cope, allowing them to tell him what to think and do. Then it was expected of him. Once he got to the ASMP, he kind of had an identity crisis
- Zane is on anti-depressants and keeps a calendar to mark the days he's been clean
- Noi pulls his hair, never enough to ripping it out, but he nearly has.
- Pierce is not straight, he's a closeted gay man. On Daemos, LGBTQ+ isn't even a concept. At all. So Pierce grew up not understand attraction and came to the conclusion that you CHOSE to be attracted to people. So when the guys started crushing on Ava he went 'Okay? I guess I like her now?'. In ASMP, it was Ein who noticed that Pierce seemed very interested in Noi (and that jock bf from the boyfriend mod lol), and started gently helping him come to terms with it. Pierce is far from ready to come out though, now pretending he likes Kim.
- Noi is pansexual, but didn't struggle like Pierce due to still liking women
- For the characters, I gave them their VAs irl names (plus last if no last name included, unless you're Dante and got stuck with Gene's)
- Aphmau Jessica Lycan
- Aaron Jason Lycan
-Zane Kestin Ro'meave
- Ein Christopher Escalante
- Noi Michael Zekas
- Pierce Shado-Temple
- Mac Naomi (mine) Cheese (hence Mac. N. Cheese........)
-Nana "Kawaii~Chan" Megan Ashida
- Gene Alejandro Saab
- Dante Kestin Saab
- Laurance Sebastain Zvahl
- Garroth Andy Ro'meave
etc.(Note: Daemos do not have middle or last names. Noi and Pierce chose those. And yes, Pierce missed the 'w' in Shadow)
Maybe I'll add my OCs names..... But, the canon one and Angelsville canon babies:
- Caleb Blaine Zvahl
- Joseph "Bacon" O'Hara
Notes:
You can say if you agree, disagree, or add your own in the comments if you want. If not, that's okay. I love y'all :)
Chapter 16: HAPPY PRIDE MONTH
Summary:
PRIDE MONTH TIME!
Notes:
Let's goooooo! My lil LGBTQ+ readers, happy Pride Month! Take some headcanons, and quotes!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Canons (with text from their wikis):
Gene: 'In Netflix Themed Murder Minigames, Gene has repeatedly called Garroth hot, implying he might have interest in both men and women'- bi
Katelyn: 'Katelyn has dated both men and women.'- bi
Vylad: 'In the Character Q&A session "Very Sorry", Vylad says he says that he doesn't mind being shipped with anyone.' 'His voice actor, Cole Petty, has said that Vylad is pansexual'
Garroth: 'In the minigame episode of Never Have I Ever titled "Does Aphmau Like Gene?", Garroth confesses along with Aphmau that if he were being honest, he would have dated him in high school if he wasn't such a jerk.' (From Blaze's since someone removed it from Garroth's: 'The most obvious of these were the recurring references to he and Garroth having somewhat of a "summer fling" during season 5')- I personally think bi.
Travis: 'In a pixel painter minigame, Travis (in character) has said he, "Enjoys keeping guys and girls on their toes." So, it is safe to say that Travis is in fact LGBT+'- I'm going pan here. I don't know, but he doesn't strike me as bi....
Blaze: 'It has been implied time and time again that Blaze is bisexual or pansexual in many minigame videos.' 'The most obvious of these were the recurring references to he and Garroth having somewhat of a "summer fling" during season 5.' 'He has also shown romantic interest in both Aaron and Daniel.'- Once again, going pan.
Dante (new one on wiki!): 'Dante has been hinted subtly to possibly be romantically interested in men.' 'In one such instance, Dante states, “Leave me and my new possible boyfriend alone!” in reference to 707, a fictional character from the dating simulator Mystic Messenger.'- So two bi brothers?????
Ein: 'In non-canon mini-game videos, Ein may have an interest in men based off dialogue between himself and Garroth. In an APHTV Bloopers video, Garroth and Ein proceed to make out in front of Aphmau and KC. This is non-canon to MyStreet.' 'Christopher Escalante, his VA, has supported calling Ein pansexual on a Tumblr post and shared another post of another user calling him bisexual.' - If you saw my previous one, you know what I think, if not, I think he's bi with a preference for guys
KC: 'During a livestream, while watching Lovers Lane episode 5, Chris asked Jess if Kawaii~Chan was pansexual. Jess made a noise, but she didn't confirm nor deny if she was. This possibly implies Kawaii~Chan is pansexual, if not a least a form of lgbt+' 'Ontop of this, she has also said she would date Michi. Which she found very cute'- Nah we going pan, she is the type and gives off the V I B E S
Lucinda 'It is implied, but not proven, that Lucinda is LGBT+. She has dated Ivan in the past, but she has flirted with Jenna and Aphmau. As well as this, in season 6, Lucinda's pupils dilate when Melissa is shown to be alive, implying that Lucinda indeed has feelings for her.' 'Her and Melissa seem to have something special, as in having feelings for each other.'- I'd go probably bi.... but I also agree with people who say she's pan so do with that what you wish.
Melissa: 'It is heavily implied that Melissa is attracted to women. She has been shown to have no interest in men, while having romantically-inclined interactions with women such as Aphmau, Michi (who flirts with her), and especially Lucinda.' 'It is heavily implied that Lucinda and Melissa have reciprocating romantic feelings for each other.'-Yeah, she lesbian. And Michi????????????
(If you find more, let me know and I'll update it!)
Non-canons:
Pierce: Like I said from my previous one: Pierce is not straight, he's a closeted gay man. On Daemos, LGBTQ+ isn't even a concept. At all. So Pierce grew up not understanding attraction and came to the conclusion that you CHOSE to be attracted to people. So when the guys started crushing on Ava he went 'Okay? I guess I like her now?'. In ASMP, it was Ein who noticed that Pierce seemed very interested in Noi (and that jock bf from the boyfriend mod lol), and started gently helping him come to terms with it. Pierce is far from ready to come out though, now pretending he likes Kim. He would still be heartbroken if Kim and Noi (or Ava and Noi in MID) got together, but not for the reason the others think.
Noi: Pansexual. The majority of the fandom seems to agree with me though.
Kim: Somewhere on the ace spectrum. Not sex-repulsed though. I will admit I do not know enough about that spectrum to place her though.
Zane: Demisexual and demiromantic. Plus, since in one minigame they referred to him with all pronouns, I think he uses all.
Daniel: Gay, possibly demisexual.
Laurance: Listen, this man ain't straight. He's bi.
Rhys: Dude gave off bi vibes, I'm sorry.
Asch: We can't deny he didn't either
THE QUOTES:
Pierce: What’s the straightest thing you’ve ever done?
Ein: *sighs*
Ein: I killed a man.
Rhys: What do we think of Pierce?
*pause*
Noi: *sighs* Nice pal.
Leif: I think he’s gay.
(And they all proceeded to ignore him.......)
Pierce: Wow, this parking is as straight as I am.
Asch: I know I should be focused on the fact that you just came out, but HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING!
Squad reactions to being called straight:
Gene: The fuck, no I'm not.
Blaze: Excuse the hell out of you?
Travis: Ding dong, you are wrong!
Vylad: Who told you that? And why did they lie?
Garroth: Rude.
Katelyn: *punches the person*
Aph: Do you support gay rights?
Pierce: I’m literally gay.
Kim: He’s avoiding the question!
Ein: I want a bf.
Pierce: Do you mean best friend, boyfriend or bread feast? Because you’re being really vague here.
Daniel: If you ever feel embarrassed just remember that in middle school I tried to convince myself that I wasn't gay by making a compromise to myself to "Only be gay at night."
Pierce: I'm an empath. When I'm around hot gay people, I start having gay thoughts.
Katelyn: Y'know, bisexuality ain't that hard to understand. Girls are cute, guys are cute. What more do you want from me?
Ein, literally bi: Your wallet. :)
*in a group chat*
Pierce: First one to reply is gat.
Pierce: *gay
Pierce: Wait…
Pierce: Got called a homosexual in Walmart earlier.
Ein: Tell us what happened.
Pierce: I got called a homosexual in Walmart.
Ein: Yeah, but why?
Pierce: I was being a homosexual.
Ein: In Walmart?
Pierce: Yeah, it was in Walmart.
KC: I started school with straight A’s. Now I’m not even straight.
Travis: Those moments when straight people assume you're one of them and you feel like a gay secret agent.
Melissa: Lesbionage.
Ein: Bi spy.
Kim: It's an ace case.
Pierce: Secret gaygent.
Gene: Don't know why people think kids learning about gay relationships in school will turn them gay. I learned about World War Two, but am yet to invade Poland.
Katelyn: The only straight I am is a straight-up badass.
Dante: Guys, my brother here is bilingual.
Gene: Yes.
Dante: Which means he likes both boys and girls.
Gene: Ye- wait, what-
Laurence: Dante, that's not what bilingual means-
Dante: Shhh, it's okay, Gene. I still love you, man.
Noi: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Ein!
Ein: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.
Ava: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Pierce and Noi's convo?
Leif: Me. I'm in the laundry basket.
Asch: I'm in the washing machine.
Rhys: I'm in the closet.
Ava: We accept you Rhys. <3
Rhys: No, I'm literally in the closet.
Ava: Love is love. <3
(HE IS IN BOTH)
Aphmau: I need you to be straight with me.
Dante: Let me run this bi you.
Blaze: Let’s see how this pans out.
Kim: Let me ace-cess the situation.
Daniel: I’m just gay.
Sasha: You know, sometimes I really think I can be too straight.
Gene, covered in bi merch and sipping an iced coffee: Sucks to be you.
Zane: Respect me and my brothers or I’m gonna identify as a fucking problem.
Notes:
Please know that all y'all are valid for your pronouns, or who you like. Love is Love.
Chapter 17: 1000 hits....?
Notes:
Wtf...... no way...... well, we gotta get something special out, eh?
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Asch: I’m not stupid, you know.
Rhys: Well, you’re doing a really good impression of it!
Ein: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon.
Aaron: A spear?
Ein: BLOCKED.
Pierce: I'm tired.
Rhys: You slept for three hours last night! Why are you surprised?!
Pierce: I'm not surprised. I just wanted to complain about it.
Ava: I am small and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that I'm under.
Leif: Can I bother you for a second?
Asch: You're always bothering me, but go ahead.
Ein, after failing a mission: Long story short, this is my grave.......Want me to make you one too?
Gene: Make no mistake. Not only am I party rocking, but I am also in the house tonight.
Dante: But are you shuffling?
Gene: Everyday.
Sasha: What language are you two speaking??
Pierce: "You look tired" well, the torment is relentless and the horrors never cease.
Zane, trying to be nice: Sorry I told you the fucking truth you stupid bitch.
Aph: My toxic trait is that I'm convinced that if I ever saw a wolf or bear in the forest, I could get it to be my friend.
Zane: What the fuck is with English teachers and being like; "write a story about a deep and personal memory that impacted your life". Ma'am, if I do that you're going to send me to the counselor's office.
Zane: If I had to describe my life in a movie scene, It's be the part in Elf when he gets hit by the taxi and then thanks them.
Ein: A fistfight CAN be romantic.
Michael: Minecraft proves that abolishing child labour was a mistake. The children yearn for the mines.
Zane: When I was a kid, I had this game called worm church where I'd bring worms into my room and read the Divine Scrolls.
Ein: If I cut off my foot and like, swing it at your head, am I kicking you or hitting you?
Zack: You'll most likely mentally scar me, more than anything.
KC: What part of your morning routine takes the longest?
Zane: Deciding to get up.
Dante: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly.
Travis, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.
Aph: If you must curse, use your own name!
Zane: Oh my Zane-
Katelyn: Katelyn dammit!
Blaze: Where the Blaze is my sock?!
Laurance: What the Laurance is wrong with her?!
Aph: NEVER MIND, I PREFER THE CURSING! GO BACK!
Pierce: How do you make people fall in love with you?
Aph: Spend time with them?
KC: Buy them chocolate and roses!
Zane: Challenge them to a duel.
Ein: Kidnapping. Worked for me. For a bit.
Michael: Keep a bunch of wrapped, empty boxes under your Christmas Tree. When a child misbehaves, throw one in the fireplace.
KIng of Daemos: But what do I do when I run out of children?
Ava: iuegrukfhoeuhfeoruhf
Pierce: What is that?
Ava: it’s a keyboard smash
Pierce: How do I do it?
Ava: just press anything
Pierce: 7
Ein: I wasn’t that drunk.
Pierce: You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important.
Ein: BECAUSE YOU ARE!
Ava: Why are your tongues purple?
Rhys: We had slushies. .….I had a blue one.
Asch: I had a red one.
Ava: oh.
Ava:
Ava: OH.
Noi:
Noi: You drank each others slushies?
Zane: I haven’t slept in 72 hours…
Gene: I haven’t slept in 80. I’m the insomnia king!
Pierce: Ha! I haven’t slept in 90 hours, I’m aiming for an even 100.
Katelyn: What the fuck is wrong with you people.
Noi: …How do you connect with a fictional character?
Asch: What?
Rhys: What?
Leif: What?
Ava: *pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked.
Rhys: See, the problem is, Asch, you’re playing 3D chess. I’m playing 4D.
Asch: I’m playing checkers. I don’t know what the fuck you’re playing.
Zack: Ein, where’s your report card?
Ein: My friends stole it from me at school, so now I don’t have it anymore.
Zack: Do you think I’m stupid enough to believe that lie?
Ein: What lie?
Zack: That you have friends.
Leif: If you heard weird noises at night make weirder noises to assert dominance.
Rhys: Depending on context, I’d rather not.
Zane: I can’t believe all these people are wearing black. black is supposed to be my thing, they’re all just posers.
Garroth: Zane, for the last time, we’re at a funeral.
Zex: Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute fuckery, I am going to revoke your life privileges.
Zane: Each time I tell you those 3 words, I mean them more and more...
Zane: "Leave me alone."
Zane: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed of the souls of the living I strike fear into-
Garroth: You sleep with a Pinkie Cake plush.
Zane: She’s my SECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!
Asch: Do you wish you were seeing somebody?
Ava: A therapist.
Noi: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life.
Zane: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?
Noi: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.
Ein, putting a dandelion in his mouth: Edible.
Ein: Shout out to my father for making the most perfect kid ever.
Zane: Tell Aph I said congrats.
Dante: I’m so excited!
Travis: We’re gonna have the best costumes, get the most candy...
Dante: And have the biggest stomach aches ever!
Travis: Yeah!
KC: Candles are how we keep fires as pets!
Katelyn: This is unnecessarily adorable.
Kim: Fun fact. The average person will walk by 36 murderers in their lifetime.
Mac: I like how this is a "fun" fact.
Zane: It's fun because they didn't decide to murder you.
Ein, in the corner: Hello.
(MID)Noi, on the phone: Uh. . Hey, Ava, I uh, I’ve been stabbed.
Aphmau: WHAT? WHERE ARE YOU?
Noi: Wait- You aren’t Ava. Sorry- I didn’t mean to call you-
Aphmau: NO, WHERE ARE YOU? I'M COMING THERE. I'M NOT GOING TO LEAVE SOMEONE ALONE THAT'S BEEN STABBED.
Ein: The last guy's blood didn't splatter across my face and shirt sexily or aesthetically enough so I have to kill again. Sorry.
Ava: Not everything is about you.
Asch: That's fucked up and I refuse to believe it.
Kawaii~Chan: *Signs a legal document with a glitter pen.*
Rhys: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.
Ava & Leif: Okay.
Pierce: Yes.
Rhys: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.
Ava: Bold of you to assume I have money.
Pierce: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.
Leif: Bold of you to assume I can die.
Zane: I. FUCKING. HATE. HIGH SCHOOL.
Zianna: Why? What happened?
Zane: The older kids at school make me do the Fortnite dance and shout "go white boy go".
Ein, texting Pierce drunk: There's a fucking oul outside.
Ein: Ouwl.
Ein: Owul.
Ein: Houl.
Ein: Oul.
Ein: How the fuck do you spell it...?
Ein: Hoot hoot.
Ein: There's a hooter outside my window.
Sasha: Oops! You've just killed someone! What is the most creative way to hide the body?
Gene: Ever since I was a kid, I always thought that if I had to hide a body, it would be smart to keep it somewhere temporary, then leave an anonymous tip to the police about it being buried in a certain place. They will then dig that place up, realize it's not there and move on, then I'd bury the body in that place. The freshly-dug soil won't be suspicious and the police wouldn't look there because they already have.
Zenix: It scares me that this dude started his dead-body-hiding scheme with "Ever since I was a kid..."
Zane: *Game show voice* Time for your favorite game, guess what problems I have today! Is it insomnia? Is it depression? Anxiety? The urge to murder? Lack of appetite?
Aph: I’m going to go with… Anxiety, maybe with a little bit of feeling like shit?
Zane: Congratulations Aphmau, you win a million dollars and a will to live that I never had!
Daniel: The waiter at this restaurant is really hot...
Rylan: Maybe you should say something?
Daniel: Ha, no.
The waiter, Blaze, bringing back their food: Careful, the plate is hot too.
Daniel: Too?
Blaze: *Touches Daniel's shoulder and makes a sizzling noise, before walking off.*
Daniel: I'M FREAKING OUT WHAT DO I DO.
Dottie: HIM.
*The parents + Michael are asked what they would do with 5 children with only 3 chairs.*
Terry: Get two more chairs!
Derek: They can get their own chairs.
King of Daemos: Make them fight for it.
Zack: You only need one chair to beat them all with.
Elizabeth: I would never be near children.
Michael: Kill two.
Kim: Doctor = $140,000 a year, Furry artist on patreon = $160,000 a year.
Aaron: I think you’re lowballing the furry art amount tbh.
Kim: Sorry for the inaccuracies Doctor Yiff.
Aaron: No matter how I respond I don’t look well, well played. I walked into that.
Aphmau: Well, furry artists are typically more competent and courteous than your average doctor, so I can see that.
Kim: Did you legitimately just tell me that a person who draws wolf ass is more competent than a dude who spent 8+ years in a university to give you a lung transplant?
Pierce: Doctors are bullshit and furry artists perform an infinitely more valuable service to society compared to them.
Kim: You will die in 7 days.
Ein: It took doctors 10 years to diagnose what was wrong with me, some insisting I was faking it for attention while a furry artist I knew said “Sounds like ADHD” after hearing me complain once and ended up being right.
Ein: Besides I can’t go to a doctor and ask them to draw Rouge the Bat wider than she is tall with tits to match, now can I?
Pierce: You could if you weren’t a fucking coward.
Zane: This was like 50 consecutive punches to the face, what the fuck went on here.
(PDH)
Gene: *clicks pen*
Sasha: *clicks pen in response*
Zane: Stop that.
Gene: Stop what?
Zane: You’re talking about me in Morse code!
Sasha: Yes, that’s what we are doing. In our very limited time, we took a class on a very outdated, very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you. Congrats, you figured us out!
*later*
Gene, to Zenix: That’s actually exactly what we were doing.
Aph, trying to figure out how much Ein hates Zack: What would you do if you were scrolling through recommended tumblr posts and one was from someone you don't know and it was just a picture of our dad captioned "fucking hate this guy" and it had hundreds of notes?
Ein: Reblog it, duh.
Garroth to himself, writing fanfiction: If I DO end up owning One Direction, I would set them free.
Ava: *trying to get five seconds of sleep*
Noi, poking Ava’s arm: Ava. Ava. Ava. Princess Ava?
Ava: WHAT?
Noi: …We’re out of pizza—
Blaze, passing his phone to Ein: I'm passing the phone to someone, who if I had to choose between hanging out with them, and having my organs removed one by one, I’d choose the organs.
Ein, passing the phone back to Blaze: I'm passing the phone to my best friend!
Zane: Wow, this sucks. I’m gonna kill *remembers that suicide jokes only worsen your mental health and that the first step to healing is stopping* you.
Asch: Rhys, can I ask you a question?
Rhys: You just did.
Asch: Okay, can I ask you two questions?
Rhys: You just did.
Asch, frustrated: OKAY, CAN I ASK YOU FOUR QUESTIONS?!
Rhys: You just did.
Asch: When?!
Rhys: Just now.
Asch: We'll talk about this later.
Leif: Fine, I won’t be listening.
Aph: My mother came into my room in the middle of the night so I pretended to be asleep. She stroked my cheek and hair for a minute and then left. Is she planning to kill me...?
Katelyn: No, she just loves you, idiot.
Lorelai: The weirdest thing about living alone is how many hours you go without speaking a single word...
Ava: Bold of you to assume that I don't talk to myself. And Johnny.
Blaze: When I get Doordash I order 20 Cheeseburgers at a time and heat them up throughout the week so that I don’t have to pay the delivery fee multiple times.
Daniel: I-I hope you understand how food poisoning works…
Blaze: I hope food poisoning understands how I work. I never met a burger I couldn't eat.
Kawaii~Chan: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Lucinda: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Aph: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned.
Dante: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Aaron: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Zane: I have emotional scars.
Dante to Garroth: Wow, ambidextrous AND British? You really are an illusion.
Asch: I don’t want to control everything! I just want people and events to mold to my desire.
Pierce: It’s okay, Ein. I’m not afraid of dying.
Ein: Well, you should be. It’s extremely boring.
Aaron: Please stop getting shot, it stresses me out.
Melissa: Oh, well if YOU don't like it.
Notes:
Listen, I love y'all to death. To my most regular commenters to my fic friend (y'all know who you are) to even my silent readers and kudosers.
Seriously, I do. Always let me know if you want a headcanon page, more quotes of a ship (that is shown here), even more Next Gen quotes or something!
Chapter 18: Idk what going on w/ me
Summary:
Hi lovelies, um, don't fear that title. It just means that most of these quotes are on crack and I have no clue why I did what I did :p
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Garroth: What’s your favorite high school memory?
Zane: LEAVING. FUCKING LEAVING!
*The Squad using an Ouija board*
Ein: Tell us… Is there a spirit in this house?
Spirit, through the board: YES.
Pierce: Great! Rent is due on the first of the month.
Noi: Oh, and movie night is on Friday if you want to hang out.
Spirit: WAIT, WHAT—
Laurance, washing the dishes: Who the fuck used this pan??
Laurance: Wait. I the fuck used this pan…
Zane: It was you the fuck.
Laurance: It was I the fuck…
Garroth: Who cooks rice in a pan?
Zane: He the fuck.
*Noi and Leif are planning to break in somewhere*
Noi: We need to distract the guards.
Leif: Right.
Noi: What are we gonna do?
Leif: I'm gonna break their elbows while you poke their eyes.
Noi:
Leif:
Noi: Deal.
Zenix: Gene's refusing to wear his glasses!
Gene: Zenix, look, I wore the glasses for a day. My eyes are much better now. Watch.
Gene: *points to Sasha* Sasha.
Gene: *points to Apple* Apple.
Gene: *points to Dante* Sasquatch.
Lae (OC): Well, aren’t you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you’re out to save the world!
Aaron: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment.
Zane: More or less, I guess...
Noi: That sounds awesome! Let’s do that!
Mac: I’m new here, but I am open to the concept.
Aph: I thought that’s what we were doing, guys, come on!
Asch: Nothing feels better than winning Monopoly. Not love, not sex, not free pizza, nothing!
Noi: I’m sorry, have you tried pizza?
Asch: Yes, and it doesn’t compare to owning half the board and watching the light die from your friend’s eyes as you take their money and feel your friendship slowly deteriorate.
Leif: I now like you.
Lorelai: *slams books down in front of Ava*
Lorelai: Boil up some Mountain Dew. It’s gonna be a long night.
Ava: You could of said literally anything else.
Lorelai: Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, Baja Blast to fuel my trouble.
Ava: I’m going to just stop challenging you when you say random shit. I won’t win. I realize this now.
Noi: Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy. But if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.
Asch: My favorite is explaining the difference between a butt dial and a booty call.
Rhys: It’s called connotations.
Leif: Try this one on for size, “Forgive me, Father, I have sinned” vs “Sorry, Daddy, I’ve been naughty."
Ava: Great news! Language is now banned!
Leif: Shut it Noi, I only shook your hand because I had to. We will NEVER be friends.
Noi: Let’s survive this together!
Leif: I HOPE YOU DIE.
Zane: I am going to cry. I’m going to cry until I can no longer physically cry anymore because all the water in my body is gone and I die from dehydration.
Aphmau: Are you okay?
Laurance: Did you actually just ask him that? Like, you need that to be answered otherwise you won’t know?
Aaron: Babe, why does your bucket list have ‘Die’ on it?
Aph: So I can die feeling at least a little bit accomplished.
Rhys: Gosh I wish I got more sleep. I only got six hours!
Asch: Six? I only got three!
Pierce: You got sleep?
Ava, comes stumbling out of her room and grabs a jug of coffee before saying: What year is it??
Noi, looking at a map: It’s a barren, featureless wasteland out there, isn't it?
Rhys: Other side, Noi…
Zex: Sometimes I like to place my hands on someone’s cheeks, look into their eyes...
Zex: ...And violently jerk their head until it snaps.
Lady Bish: ...That took an unexpected turn.
Rhal: So did their neck.
Aph: Ladies, gentlemen, I want to show you the greatest thing your eyes have ever beheld!
Pierce: A sheep?
Aph: No.
Pierce: A baby sheep?
Aph: No!
Pierce: A baby sheep with a little hat on?
Aph: NO!
Aph: Let’s not Ein this into a worse situation than it already is.
Ein: Did you just use my name as a verb?
Blaze: Anything else?
Ein: Yeah. Stay away from me!
Blaze: Alright. See you in the room we share.
Ava: When people say my name I'm like... "Can't believe I exist".
Aaron: People seriously cry doing their math homework?
Zane: Some of you never had to spend hours at the kitchen table crying as your dad shouts "WHAT IS 3 TIMES 7?"
KC: Just trust your gut!
Zane: My angel, I have anxiety. My gut is literally always telling me to abort mission.
Leif: You know, there’s something weird going on with your face?
Asch: What?
Leif: You’re smiling! I didn’t know you could do that?
Travis: Sometimes I text Katelyn the motivational quotes from her tampons when she has her period to try and cheer her up.
Travis: Live fearlessly!
Katelyn: I swear to Irene, go fuck yourself.
Pierce: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you’re a coward.
Noi: I’m worried about you.
Garroth: I'm going to get myself some soup.
Laurance: Be careful not to burn yourself, it's hot.
Garroth: Pfft, I won't burn myself.
*30 seconds later*
Garroth, entering the room: I burned myself.
Asch: Who would you kill out of the five of us, Prisoner?
Ava: Lorelai, easily.
Lorelai: What the fuck, Ava.
Ava: Well, Leif would be too easy. He’d probably be into it.
Leif, now standing in the doorway: What the fuck, man!?
Asch: Breaking News, Noi has disappointed us. Again.
Asch: Don’t say a word.
Leif: Fergalicious.
Asch: I said no words.
Leif: Oh, I see how it works. Two weeks ago, we’re playing Scrabble, it’s not a word, now suddenly it is a word because it’s convenient for you.
Laurance: Come on, bro, you need to go to bed.
Caleb: Mr. Snuffles says that I can stay up as long as I want. And that you need to die!
Laurance: …
Laurance: What the hell, Mr. Snuffles—
Zane: Garroth, if you don't shut up I'm going to throw myself out of the car.
*click*
Zane: DID YOU JUST TURN THE FUCKING CHILDRENS' LOCK ON?!
*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Ava: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Noi: ...I did. I broke it.
Ava: No. No you didn't. Leif?
Leif: Don't look at me. Look at Pierce.
Pierce: What? I didn't break it.
Leif: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Pierce: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Leif: Suspicious.
Pierce: No, it's not!
Rhys: If it matters, probably not, but His Royal Highness was the last one to use it.
Asch: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Rhys: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Asch: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Rhys!
Noi: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Princess Ava.
Ava: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Rhys: Ava... Leif's been awfully quiet.
Leif: rEALLY?!
*Everyone starts arguing*
Ava, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Ava: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Ava:
Ava: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
Notes:
Okay, so, I wanna kinda do 2 things:
1. Ramble on about an AU I have, the one where 'I'll Still Look For You, Even When I'm Losing Hope' comes from
2. Part of me wants a lil QNA, as long as questions are not like 'How old are u?' Like, questions about OCs, Next Gen, or Lae and Ael, headcanon questions, ship questions, who I like/dislike, reasons for not like/liking things, etc. Or something you've been confused about while reading my crap and/or a headcanon page. So, related to fandom/writing. (I will accept questions abt other fandoms though)
(Also, why does this accept 'Lae' but not 'Ael'??????????)Also, someone help, I don't keep up with Aph's current content, WHY IS RHYS THERE?! I'M GEEKING OUT.
Also, some quotes are coming out very Ein/Blaze like, despite that I'm referring to Angelsville, do y'all think I need to update and add that tag?
Chapter 19: Rambling Abt An AU because I am gathering quotes I swear pookies
Summary:
Kinda a Monster/Fantasy AU ig? I have no name for it, help.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Werewolves, Daemos, witches, and meif'was stay like in canon (except I want more werewolves shifting into wolves, Aph, are you hearing this?). I did hafta go research Shadow Knights though, gave them some powers (had to alter the shit about getting transformed), and I had to get my hands on the demons. Let's go!
-Shadow Knights are seen as horrid monsters. Way back in the past, they were transformed, and this was passed along generations. Nowadays, however, you can simply be born one, the methods of transforming are lost to time. They are at near extinction however.
Shadow Knights: Gene, Sasha, Zenix, Laurance, Zane, and Vylad.
- You only need one parent to be one (however, two will ensure all siblings are). Gene and Dante's father was a Shadow Knight, and Zianna carried the genes and passed them down to Zane and Vylad.
- Um, considering that they are near extinction, I think we can safely say they can't become immortal, nor do they have to kill anyone. It can however make them more prone to anger and becoming violent. Their memory-altering is a power I kept, yet it's difficult (and draining) to do.
- They can teleport away using shadows themselves simply for the reason of I may need plot armor and I think it's cool.
Not much to say on them, just that they are hunted in the fear that they may go back to ye olden ways.
- Demons =/= Daemos. Demons crawled out of motherfucking Hell itself.
Demons: Michael | Demon Warlock, Travis.
- Demons are known to shapeshift and/or conjure illusions. To explain that one Travis-Dante telepathy scene, I'm giving them telepathy too. Bare with me, please. They retain all other forms of magic though (Travis does not know how to possess people, nor does he wish to learn.)
- Michael is hiding under disguise to help destroy the place Irene made for the 'monsters' to have a safe place, determined to rise to power.
- He experimented on Ein and Travis under that disguise, only those two knew the truth.
- Travis is actually Michael's kid. He was abandoned however, and Terry and his wife found him. Travis shapeshifted to look just like them, his eyes once gray. However, during the years he was kidnapped, he forgot their eye color and copied the one he saw almost constantly: green.
- Despite only having two demons show up, they are still around and not near extinction. Most demons are hiding out, not having a need for a safer area.
- To explain how Michael kidnapped Travis, he shapeshifted into Terry to convince Travis to come with him. Upon having Travis in a cell and revealing he (Trav) was a demon, Michael revealed himself.
- Travis does not know who had him with Michael, and his mother died while trying to find him.
- Daemos are refugees after their realm collapsed from a magic crisis. It is unknown how many were killed when that occurred, and how many are scattered throughout Earth.
- All the Daemos from MID are alive, minus the king, who chose to fall with his realm.
- Pierce and Noi were thrown into the safe place, due to them leaving through a different portal than the others'. (Due to the fact that Noi had been burried underneath some rubble and Pierce had gone to save him. Noi used the rest of his magic to get them a portal out and away.)
- Spirits were saved, Zex and Mirage are not the only ones. People brought their pets (plus some wild ones ran through).
- Considering that the Fall of Daemos was not a long time ago, most Daemos have not been hunted yet. A few have, but they have learned tonot commit murder upon every human they see.
- Them Daemos better be lucky pointy ears can be seen as a rare trait.
- The kingdom has not been rebuilt yet, though Asch plans to one day.
- Several werewolves take refuge there, scattered in different packs.
Main pack: Aphmau, Aaron (alphas), Blaze, Garroth, Ein, Melissa, Bacon (Joseph), Dottie, Rylan, and Daniel (omega).
- Kids can't be omegas, hence why Bacon is higher than Daniel.
- A partner of a member of the pack, if accepted, can be put under protection of the pack. Ex: Laurance (dating Garroth), Lucinda (dating Melissa). Any kids will also be put under protection.
- There may be some hostility between Aaron and Ein... But Aaron is fair and won't place Ein as an Omega unless hetruly fucks up.
- Ein and Aphmau are once again half-siblings. Zack took a large amount of money to give Ein away.
- The pack meets up on every full moon for meetings (or to just howl at the moon).
- Bacon was conceived via surrogacy (HE GETS AN EXPLANTION IN THIS AU LET'S GO)
- Aphmau is the only one with wings, being a descendant of Irene
- Ein's body now permanently has the powers of the Forever Potion
- Hehe, Bacon gets fucking kidnapped and Ein and Blaze go feral.
-Meif'wa origins come from a cursed town
I don't have anything for meif'was, really. But: You are allowed to have this funny scenario of Zex being sick and his spirit powers malfunctioning and everyone mistaking him for one.
- Witches are born with magic, though anyone can learn potions.
- There's no species for those possessed by ghosts, so Kim has to get all her knowledge on why Emmalyn is possessing her from old books.
- Relatives of monsters may be hunted. Garroth was once captured (pre being turned) under the suspicion that he was also a Shadow Knight.
- Ein and Travis are trauma buddies, having escaped together and dealing with Michael.
- The rest of the MID cast found the safe haven after Leif swore he had seen Noi and Pierce in the woods. Rhys, however, went first to investigate, figuring that he would be able to talk himself out of danger.
- Michael becomes aware of the safe haven after the monster hunters kidnap Bacon and he sees Ein bolt off at the sight of him. He follows, and can already tell Travis is there, along with several powerful beings.
- If Zane unlocks his more powerful Shadow Knight form, his damaged blind eye with turn red as well, but with the scarring a darker shade
- Travis and Ein100% donot haveany trauma from Michael! No, Ein was just.... um....feeling nauseous, yeah....
- Yeah, the hunters are kinda bitches. They kidnap kids for the 'greater good' for Heaven's sake.
- Literally Ein: 'Ok, you kidnap me, and then my son..... nope, 100% heroes. Good job!'
- Humans can live there too, as shown. They are nervous about letting new ones in, who aren't related to any 'monster' or weren't born there. They did accept Ava though, she couldn't really rat them out without ratting out her Daemos friends
- This could make a cool AU 'What if Rhal, Lady Bish, and Zex were stuck there too?'
- Pierce literally refuses to kill anyone in the battle.... but..... he can take his prisoners to Rhal, Zex, Leif, or anyone else....
Notes:
Uh, I have no clue what this AU would be named lol :p
Also, I need the inco quotes generators I use to update, I have used almost all that fit.... I'm trying I promise. I have no clue what I could do. Another headcanon page? AU page? Those situation things..... Y'know, the 'preferences' things on Wattpad? I have no clue. I am up to suggestions lol.
Chapter 20: Yes- Pierce 2019 (right??????) (+A/N)
Summary:
Meep hopin I don't die :p
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Rhys: *slams down an absolute doorstopper of a tome* I checked this out weeks ago for a bit of light reading.
Asch: This is light?!
Ava: Don’t trust everything you see on the internet.
Leif: Pfft. What nonsense could possibly come from the internet? Oh. Did you know that E-urth is actually flat?
Ava: *Takes away Leif’s phone* Yeah, that's enough for you.
Katelyn: My toxic trait is that I truly believe I could win a fight against anybody if I was mad enough. You might have the strength and size, but I have the pure, unfiltered rage.
(ELIZABETH IS FINALLY DEAD)
Travis: Well, I'm very sorry to hear about your mother.
Katelyn: Mmm, we aren't really that close.
Travis: Oh, good.
Ava: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.
Ava, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.
Aaron: My girl can wear whatever she wants, 'cause I'm scared of her.
Noi: Pierce, Ein, I love y’all and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing?
Pierce, trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that Ein is sitting atop: Oh nothing much.
Ein: I love you too :)
*after the Squad has been separated for a few years*
Aphmau: So what have you been up to recently?
Noi: Leading a revolution with Pierce.
Aphmau: Good for you two! Me, I've joined the mob.
Noi: *nods* Oh, how cool! That's awesome!
Aphmau: I know! Anyway, have you heard from the others? Mac?
Noi: Happily living as a hermit in the woods. Ein?
Aphmau: Wrongfully locked up in an asylum, which reminds me, we need to break him out later. Zane?
Noi: Cult leader.
Aphmau: Yeah, that sounds about right.
Pierce: Every novel is a mystery novel to me, because I can't read.
Ava: Thought I was meowing back at my cat for the past hour, but it was just me and Pierce meowing at each other from different rooms in the house.
Blaze: I met this person on tinder and asked for their last name. They sent it to me and went “Doing a little background check? You might find out I’m a murderer, just ignore that” with a kissy wink emoji. Alright so I have a good sense of humor.
Blaze: I looked them up, they were a murderer.
(Guess who it was ;) )
Aaron: Eugh, Ein.
Aphmau: Remember when he tried to kill us because I wouldn’t marry him?
Blaze: He’s always trying to trick me into giving him my house!
Daniel: One time I caught him stealing my moisturizer…
KC: *hiding something in her coat* I think we should adopt another kid!
Zane: No.
KC: Why not?
Zane: Because when you say “kid”, you mean “cat”, and we already have fifteen of those.
KC: *unzips coat* Sixteen.
Pierce: *chokes on something*
Asch: Jeez, Pierce, don't die on us.
Pierce, stopping: Don't tell me what to do, I'll die whenever the hell I want.
Noi: If you put 'violently' in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier.
Noi: Violently practices.
Rhys: Violently studies.
Pierce: Violently sleeps.
Ava: Violently takes pictures.
Asch: Violently boxes.
Leif: Violently murders people.
Ava: Violently worries about the previous statement.
Gene: I hate when kids scream in public... You don't have real problems. It should be me screaming. ME.
Garroth: What's the word for when hands are bisexual?
Laurance: Do you mean ambidextrous?
Garroth: I love you.
Garroth: How do you want your coffee?
Zane: Black, like my soul.
Garroth:
Garroth: Baby Brother, your soul is a latte.
Ein: I am not a lunatic. I have the psychiatric report to prove it. A slender majority of the panel decided in my favor.
Rhys: Take a nap, Pierce.
Pierce: Yes.
*Hours later...*
Rhys: I said a nap, not a fucking coma.
Ava: How can I write a threatening email?
Rhys: To whom it WILL concern.
Asch: NOW THAT THIS EMAIL HAS FOUND YOU-
Pierce: Good night.
Rhys: Sleep tight.
Leif: Don't let the bedbugs crawl up to your ear and whisper threatening things that make you question yourself.
Rhys: Great, now Noi's crying.
Ein: Look at the buns on that guy!
Pierce: *lying on the floor, covered in hamburger buns*
Aphmau: This is the comedy police! The joke's too funny!
Ein: I'm not going back to jail!
Zack: Kid, I got you food, pick a number between 1 and 10.
Ein: Uh, um, 4?
Zack: Wrong, no food for you.
Ein: Wait what?! WHY?! ZACK PLEASE—!
Rhys: I’m the smartest person in my friend group.
Ava: You hang out with Asch, Pierce, Leif, and Noi.
Ava: It’s not as high a compliment as you think.
Rhys: I feel so burnt out.
Leif: Don’t worry, it'll be over soon.
Rhys: Are you gonna... assassinate me?
Leif: Well not if you’re expecting it.
Gene: You disgust me.
Zenix: *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don’t care.
Noi: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve.
Aphmau: I think you mean cards.
Pierce, smiling: He did not.
Noi, pulling out his daggers: I did not.
Noi: What's the signal when something goes wrong?
Asch: We yell, 'oh shit.'
Rhys: ...That'll work.
Asch: I'm bored.
Leif: Wanna commit first degree murder?
Asch: Sure!
Rhys, hearing them: No- Stop, don't do that! Put that knife down! Put Noi down!!
Ein: "My dearest beloved fuckos" is a fun, gender-neutral way to begin a speech.
Zane: See also: "Esteemed bastards".
Kim: "Gentlefolk, ferals and domesticated Cryptids".
Aphmau: "My fellow yees and haws".
Ein, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it-
Noi, whispering: Should we call the exorcist?
Pierce, also singing:The taste of his cherry chapstick.
Mac, appalled: Call the exorcist.
Ein: Holy shit, Zack, do you know what this means?!
Zack: Kid, whenever you start doing this, nobody knows what you mean.
Ein: I have so much energy, I want to run a marathon or commit a crime... which should I do?
Aphmau: Please don’t get arrested.
Ein: No promises! <3
Pierce: Why not both? Get creative!
Ein: Wonderful suggestion, thank you.
Aphmau: Please don’t encourage him, Pierce.
Lorelai: Pose as a team because SHIT JUST GOT REAL!
Kim, having recently lost her glasses: KILL THE BUG!!!
Noi: ....That’s a gecko—
Aphmau: Hey guys I just found a new song I really like-
Zane: Is it about death?
Aphmau: No.
Gene: Is it about drugs?
Ein: Is it about sex?
Aphmau: NO- it's about happiness and peace and-
Zane, Gene, and Ein:
Katelyn: So what’s for dinner?
Travis: I can’t tell you, it’s a soup-prise!
Katelyn: …
Katelyn: Is it soup?
Travis: I soup-pose it could be! *winks*
Katelyn: Please, enough with the soup puns!
Travis: Wow, you’re soup-per mean.
Katelyn: STOP!
*one hour later*
Katelyn: It’s fucking tacos?!?!?!
Kim: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it’s doing to your body.
Ein: Pfff, getting rid of the rust, idiot.
Kim: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!
Aph: Hmm... I've been drinking soda and my body's rust free... not sure where you're getting your facts from…
Leif: *dangling from a rope over a pit of fire* Remember when I said I’d tell you when we’re in too deep?
Pierce: Yes?
Leif: We’re in too deep.
Ein: Fun Christmas idea: Hang mistletoe but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
Aaron: Mistlefoe™
Zane: Someone's halls are getting DECKED.
Dante: Kinda worried that Nintendo is trying to warn us of something. Like, "MARIO RUN"? Run from what? The IRA?
Laurance: Yeah, and "Pokemon GO". Go where? To Portugal?
Travis: I heard their next game is going to be "Animal Crossing GET OUT".
Gene: I'm personally excited for "Legend of Zelda GET A FAKE IDENTITY".
Zane: What about "Donkey Kong IT'S BEHIND YOU"?
Garroth: ...Do you guys need me to call the police?
Ava: Okay happy campers! If you were a fruit what would you be and why?
Noi: I'd be a tomato because no one accepts me as part of the group.
Ava: ...
Noi: ...
Ava: OKAY HAPPY CAMPERS-
Notes:
Um, this is gonna be a bit depressing, but um. My motivation has been gone lately. Bascially, I have problems with my family. My Pops (grandad on Mom's side) is dying and it's been affecting me and my writing. I basically can't do much I was even postponing finding quotes, it's getting that difficult for me.
Um, I'm not quitting, just saying that if I vanish for another 10 days, I'm just tired and/or visiting him. I have ideas but no motivation if that makes sense. Um, I hope y'all have a good day, 2024 just not my year :p
I also want to know what else y'all wanna see in this because I'll do basically anything at this point. Need a distraction.
Chapter 21: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh
Summary:
Hello all!
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Ava: You’re drunk.
Rhys: Correction: drinking. Present tense. Grammar, Ava.
Aph: The top 3 traitors! Brutus, Judas and printers when you are in a hurry.
*Later* Aph: Bringing this back up because guess what happened to me this very morning.
Aaron: Were you stabbed by Brutus?
Aphmau: *makes Aaron a cup of tea but puts salt in it*
Aaron: *sips tea*
Aphmau:
Aaron: *finishes tea*
Aph: Didn't it taste bad?
Aaron: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.
Aphmau, tearing up: Oh, okay.
Laurance: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.
Garroth: This is a lie.
Garroth: I'm literally dating him. This is a lie.
Garroth: HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS?!
Ein: So you like cats?
Pierce: Yeah.
Ein: *tries to impress him by slowly pushing a glass off the table*
Pierce: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.
Ein: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.
Pierce: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??
Ein: Is it working?
Noi: If chickens were big enough to eat us do you think they would?
Ein: Without question!
Aph: Without remorse.
Zane: Without hesitation.
Rhys: Everyone has a right to their opinion.
Asch: You should leave E-urtf. There, that's mine.
Leif: I prevented a murder today.
Ava: Really? That’s amazing! How did you do that?
Leif: Self-control.
Aaron: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.
Aph: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.
Aaron: ...
Aaron: You mean ring bearER, right?
Aphmau: ...
Aaron: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.
Leif: Change is inedible.
Rhys: Don’t you mean inevitable?
Leif, spitting out a bunch of pennies: No, I really didn’t.
Pierce: I love them both, but how do I propose to two people?
Aphmau: Two different restaurants, one person at each restaurant. Twice the dessert, twice the applause.
Pierce: Won’t people think it’s weird if there is a third person just sitting there, though?
Aphmau: I saw someone feed their pet peacock crème brûlée from their mouth at the French place on the corner last week: I think faux third-wheeling at an engagement is the least of your worries.
Leif: Princess? I mixed Redbull with coffee and now I can see sounds, should I worry?
Ava: Leif, I swear to god—
Ein: Fight me!
Pierce: *gets on one knee and pulls out a ring*
Pierce: Fight me for the rest of our lives.
Noi: Princess Ava, I have a great idea.
Ava: Let’s hear it.
Noi: We trick Rhys and Prince Asch to go out on a date together.
Ava: YES!
Noi: And hey, if that doesn’t work out, maybe you and me could go out, get some drinks—
Ava: THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU.
Zane, trying to comfort Aph: What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.
Laurance: *looks over Garroth’s shoulder at their laptop* What the fuck?
Garroth: *slams screen shut* It’s just research! For something I’m writing about! I swear that’s it!
Laurance: Why the hell would that involve the breeding habits of frogs?
Garroth: It’s not just “frogs”, it’s the Surinam Toad. And it’s not “breeding habits”, it’s how they raise their young. This is important information my audience needs to know!
Laurance: That doesn’t change the fact this is for one line in a fanfiction.
Garroth, offendedly: You don’t know that!
Zane, who came down for better Wi-Fi: I hear no denial.
(That weird Fantasy/Monster AU I showed in previous chapter)
Michael: I have an army.
Ein: We have an Ultima.
Dante: Can you PLEASE peer pressure me into doing my project?
Gene: Do it or you're straight.
Dante: I said peer pressure, NOT THREATEN!
Noi: *is hugging Ava*
Leif: Hey! It's my turn to hug the Princess!
Leif: *grabs Ava*
Asch: *kicking down the door* What do you mean, "yOuR tUrN"? We agreed now is my time slot!
Noi: No, It's still my turn!
Ava: *suffocating* Guys, I love you, but just because I'm the smallest doesn't mean you can be hugging me constantly!
Rhys: But we need the moral support.
Noi: And you're small! Which is cute!
Pierce: If I don't hug you right now I think the depression will kick in and my body will stop functioning.
Ava: *close to tears* Well- I, I guess.
Ein, clearly drunk: Pierce, hit me another drink… wooOO HOOoo…
Aaron, giving Pierce a warning look and stopping him: Ein, I think you need a therapist and not a bottle.
Ein: I think yooOOoou need to shuUT YOUR MOUTH!
Ein: What are your adjectives?
Zane: …You mean my pronouns?
Ein: No, I know what your pronouns are! What are your adjectives?
Zane: …I dunno. What are yours?
Ein: Noisy and chaotic!
Zane: I’ve never had something go from making no sense to making complete sense so quickly.
Ein: Hey, Piercy! Did you know your my BFFLWYLION?
Pierce: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Ein: Best Friend For Life Whether You Like It Or Not.
Pierce:
Pierce: That’s one way to say it, I guess…
Aph: You're overthinking.
Zane: What if-
Aph: Don't.
Zane: WHAT IF.
Aph:
Zane: What if everyone else is underthinking?
Ein, to The Squad: You should change your passwords to “incorrect”. Then, every time you forget it, the system will remind you, “your password is incorrect”.
Garroth: I told Zane that his ears turn red when he lies.
Vylad: Do they?
Garroth: No.
Vylad: Then why did you tell him that?
Garroth: Because I can do this.
Garroth: Hey Baby Brother! Do you love us?
Zane, with his hands over his ears: No.
Zane: The relationship I have with romance is like a horror story. I can enjoy it in media when well executed but in real life my reaction to someone pursuing me romantically and pursuing me with an axe are more or less the same.
Leif: I creep around the house like a spooky little entity, standing in doorways and causing entire packets of biscuits to disappear in the night.
Pierce: I've had religious people knock on my door encouraging me to be religious, but never have I had a homosexual knock on my door to encourage me to be homosexual.
Ein: Knock knock.
Pierce: Who's there?
Ein: It's me. Queer up.
Ein: Why do you have glasses?
Blaze: Err… reading?
Ein: Reading? I didn’t know you could read!
Ava: Andrew told me I was found in a KFC bucket next to a dumpster and I was rescued.
Rhys: You probably were.
Ava: Oh crap, maybe that's the reason why. Maybe my lackluster feelings towards their fried chicken is because subconsciously I'm reliving the trauma whenever I see their trademark bucket. My brain and cognitive dissonance won't let me completely lie to myself and say I hate their food, because fried chicken is great and I want some now, instead it just steers me away. Thank you for helping to guide me towards this epiphany, perhaps now the healing can begin.
Ein: I get really offended when people tell me I'm going to hell for being bisexual because I feel like they're overlooking all of the other valid reasons I'm going to hell.
Noi: Isn't it odd how people kill flies just because they're annoying? If people killed people for being annoying, I would've died like 15 years ago.
Aph: I hope nobody is evil
Ein: >:)
Aph: Oh no.
Zane: Blocking people isn't enough.
Zane: I want them to die.
Bitch: Oh, you two are aromantic? So you're both going to die alone?
Lae (OC): Bold of you to assume that I'm not taking anyone down with me.
Michael: Bold of you to assume I CAN die.
Ein: Name something you believed in as a child that you no longer do as an adult.
Zane: Myself.
Notes:
Hi, thanks for reading YET again. (seriously, how are none of you sick of this, it's insane)
Also to @xii-arts on Tumblr, if you see this, I saw the fanart you made, and I fucking love it! (I'm not on Tumblr, Hypnoi had to tell me, so this is best I can do lol)