Athena Grant smiled to herself as she poured her morning coffee. Her husband Bobby was still sleeping since he’d had a longer shift than originally planned (due to a high-rise fire/rescue) the night before. And Athena knew that her kids would all be up and running around the house soon enough, so she wanted to be as caffeinated as possible if she was gonna be running a “solo shift” that morning. Because even though it was her day off and she would just be hanging around the house- she knew her house and she knew her kids, and sometimes she did have to use the same Looks on her kids that she used on speeding drivers she’d pull over on the street.
Suddenly the front doorbell rang.
Athena checked her watch.
“9:30 am on a Saturday, I can allow that,” she said as she went to open the door.
Athena opened the door and, just as she suspected, it was a young nine year-old boy with dark hair and beautiful brown eyes.
“Good morning, Mrs. Grant,” the boy greeted, politely.
Athena smiled.
“Good morning, Eddie,” she replied.
And just as she also suspected, there came a series of loud shuffles, bumps, and an “OW! Watch it!” from the living room, right before she saw her own nine year-old son barreling toward them out of the corner of her eye.
“Hi Eddie!” he greeted the other boy, grinning.
Eddie grinned back at the taller, blonde boy. “Hi Buck!”
“Me and Ravi and May are just watching cartoons in the living room. Wanna watch with us?” Buck asked.
Eddie glanced at Athena, and that’s when Buck suddenly seemed to notice that she was there, too.
“Can he watch cartoons with us, Mom?” Buck asked, putting on his best puppy dog-face. “Pleasepleasepleasepleeease…?”
Athena rolled her eyes.
“Eddie, have you had breakfast yet?” she asked.
“Yes, ma’am,” Eddie replied.
“And are you two going to go outside and get some fresh air once cartoons are over?”
“Absolutely!” Buck told her. “C’mon, Mom, the commercials are almost over – “
“ - Evan Buckley-Nash, what did we say about manners?” Athena asked, in a warning tone.
“…That I should use them more?” Buck replied.
“Mm-hmm, and are you using them right now?” she asked.
Buck pouted and lowered his gaze. “No…” he grumbled.
“Then what do you have to say?”
“ ‘m sorry, Mom,” Buck grumbled, then he raised his eyes again and looked at her, hopefully. “But can Eddie come in? Please?”
Athena rolled her eyes. “Well, of course he can,” she said, gesturing for Eddie to come inside. Eddie rushed in and Buck pulled him toward the living room. “But no rough-housing in the house and you’re going outside the minute those cartoons are over!” she called after them.
“OK, Mom!”
Athena sighed and shut the front door, chuckling to herself.
Just another day in paradise.
She and Bobby had gotten married four years ago. And even though, at the time, she had one year-old May from her previous marriage, she and Bobby had immediately wanted more kids. But they were both adamant about adopting. They had a neighbour, Sue Blevins, who was a foster parent and she had ended up adopting all of her foster kids (Howard, Eddie, Josh, and Linda). Bobby and Athena decided they wanted that, too.
Athena was a police officer and Bobby was a firefighter, so they would meet kids every day who were living on the street for one reason or another, or living in homes where they weren’t getting the love and care that they deserved. Bobby and Athena wanted to show as many of those kids as possible that they were worthy of love, and that they would be the ones to give it to them.
Unfortunately, they couldn’t fit every homeless child in Los Angeles in their home, so they settled on three – Buck, Maddie, and Ravi. And with Athena’s biological daughter, May, included, that was four kids, two parents, and one household that was never, ever, boring.
MAY
May was the youngest, and Athena’s only biological child. She actually gave birth to May just after she and her first husband Michael - May’s biological father - had gotten divorced.
A few months before May was born, Michael had finally spoken his truth and come out to his wife – he was gay. He’d had feelings for other men for a long time, but he didn’t really think these feelings were anything serious – until they started getting stronger, and stronger.
The divorce was hard on both of them, especially because Athena was already in the second trimester of her pregnancy.
Michael finally told Athena that there was a man he’d been seeing for a while now – a doctor, named David. David was about to go on a Doctors Without Borders trip – a very long trip – that would take him to Haiti…and Michael wanted to go with him.
He told Athena he was sorry, but he never felt like being a father was something he ever really wanted, anyway. He signed over all of his parental rights to Athena, and he and David left.
Athena felt hurt, angry, sad, and humiliated. But she was also determined to be the best mother she could be, even if she would be doing it on her own.
The day May was born, Athena started feeling contractions while she was out running errands. But she still needed to grocery shop, so she went to the grocery store and mentally begged her little girl to wait just a bit longer until her mama had enough to restock the fridge for the next couple weeks…because Athena knew she wouldn’t be able to grocery shop for a while once the baby was born and she had her single mom-hands full.
…Which is exactly what she told the handsome stranger in the fruits and vegetables section – whose named turned out to be Bobby Nash, when he noticed the obvious pain she was in.
But Bobby called 911 anyway, and reassured her that it would be “his guys” who would be coming, since firehouse 118 was close to the grocery store. He told her that they’d take care of her, and that he’d take care of her until they got there.
Out of a sudden fear of being alone, she asked Bobby to ride with her in the ambulance when the paramedics showed up.
Bobby immediately hopped into the ambulance with her and held her hand all the way to the hospital.
He didn’t go with her into the delivery room (giving her some boundaries), but he stayed in the waiting room until after the birth to hear that she and her baby were okay.
When he went to visit Athena in her hospital room later, he told her that, while she was at the grocery store, she’d dropped her grocery list during all the excitement, but he’d picked it up and given it to one of the 118 paramedics so that his entire squad could go out later and finish her grocery shopping for her (normally he wouldn’t have been able to get away with that, but he was fill-in captain while his regular captain – Vince Gerrard, was on vacation). They took it all back to the firehouse and she could pick it up whenever she liked.
She smiled at him. And something inside her told her that she shouldn’t let this man go. He was something special.
She called him a couple days later, after she was out of the hospital, and asked him if he could bring those groceries of hers over to her place himself?
He said he’d love to. He even helped her put them all away and made her dinner.
Athena was still a very new mother, and also newly divorced, so she didn’t have a lot of time or energy for a new relationship. So, she and Bobby settled on being friends for a while.
They talked about their jobs - their craziest calls, their hardest calls.
Athena told Bobby about her divorce.
Bobby told Athena about his wife and kids.
They prayed together. They hugged a lot. But they still wouldn’t cross any lines just yet.
Then, a few months later, when Athena was finally back at work after her maternity leave, she went all the way to Bobby’s firehouse to ask him out on a date.
When Athena started visiting the firehouse more often, it was obvious to the rest of Bobby’s squad that they were dating. And Bobby’s fire captain, Captain Gerrard – being a known racist/hom*ophobe/misogynist that for some reason was no closer to getting fired – made a few backhanded comments about it every once in a while.
“…People tell you to dip your toe into the dating pool and you go ahead and dip right into the chocolate fountain, eh, Nash?” Gerrard remarked one day, smirking, as the squad ate their lunch.
Bobby, who’d had a few years experience of putting up with Gerrard by then, gave no reaction. “…Not sure what you mean, Cap.”
“Well, y’know…” Gerrard said. “Cuz she’s ….you know.”
Bobby took a moment to chew and swallow his food, then shrugged. “…She’s beautiful?” Bobby offered. “She’s strong, independent, she’s an amazing mother…that what you mean, Cap?”
“Sure, Nash, that’s what I meant.”
“Thanks, Cap, that’s what I thought you meant.”
The bond Bobby had with May was adorable. May could be a very loud, fussy baby. But as soon as Bobby held her, she calmed right down. He sang to her, and made silly faces and she just adored him.
She didn’t even fuss when he would offer her solid food to eat. She always put up at least a little bit of a fuss for Athena, and even Athena’s parents when they would visit – but Bobby seemed to have some kind of a gift.
Athena’s mother was still wary of this new man in Athena and May’s lives. But once Athena made it clear that Bobby was not going anywhere, she learned to accept him…eventually.
Bobby always had such a great connection with kids. Athena knew he always took fire/rescue calls involving kids so much more personally because he didn’t want them to lose their lives the way his kids had lost theirs; and if they did, he would feel responsible, no matter what the circ*mstances.
So, when it came to May, Bobby made a personal vow to always do everything in his power to protect her (because he already knew that he wanted to be with Athena for the rest of his life, he was a romantic like that – in fact, he and Athena got married just a few days before her first birthday).
…And he made that vow three more times for Buck, Maddie, and Ravi, too.
BUCK AND MADDIE
Bobby first met Evan Buckley (“Buck” as he liked to be called, because apparently there were two other Evan’s in his kindergarten class) not long after he and Athena had gotten married. It was a cool day in January and his team was called to the Buckley home to put out a house fire. Bobby had pulled Buck out of the burning building himself, but there had been no one else in the home with him.
As they had gotten Buck seen to by the paramedics to soothe some of the minor burns on his arms, a teenage girl with long brown hair and tear-filled brown eyes broke through the crowd and immediately rushed over to hug the small boy. She frantically looked Buck over (even though the paramedics and Bobby were right there), cupping his face with her hands, lifting up his arms and legs to see if they still moved properly, and asked him repeatedly if he was okay. Bobby could see the obvious protectiveness, as well as guilt, in her tear-filled brown eyes.
After learning that the teenage girl was his sister (“Maddie, my name is Maddie”) Bobby, all business, had asked why the young boy had been at home alone.
Buck had actually been the one to answer him.
“Mommy said that I’m old enough to be a big boy and be responsible while she went to the store!” Buck told Bobby, holding up all five fingers on his hand “…cuz I’m five!”
Maddie had been at school all day, while Buck had just been at school in the morning and got to be home in the afternoon. They never found Buck and Maddie’s mother, or their father. Athena had guessed that the mother had heard what had happened at the house and had skipped town to avoid criminal charges of negligence and neglect.
Maddie told Bobby that they didn’t have any aunts or uncles, or living grandparents to look after them.
…So. they would have to go into foster care.
All Maddie had wanted to know was if she and her brother could stay together, wherever they were going.
“He can be a little troublemaker, but he just does it to get attention because our parents never give it to him,” Maddie had told Athena, at the police station. “…But he needs me. I – I can take care of him. Please, I don’t wanna lose him.”
Athena had gazed into the girl’s eyes and saw how terrified she was, and then she looked into the next room at that beautiful little blonde-haired boy that girl loved so much, who was smiling and drawing a picture for the officer sitting with him.
These two kids were so full of love, and had so much need to be loved, how could anyone refuse them that?
Athena assured Maddie that she and her brother would stay together – because they would both be coming home with her.
Athena had told Bobby that it was the only way she could be sure that little boy was getting the love and care he deserved, and his fourteen year-old sister was too young to be acting as his mother. Maddie needed them to be somewhere where she could still be a kid too, instead of a constant caregiver.
Bobby knew not to fight her on it when he saw the look in her eyes (and he had also grown quite fond of Buck in the short time he’d known him) so he immediately agreed.
BUCK AND MADDIE (part 2)
When Buck and Maddie moved in with Bobby, Athena, and May a couple days after the house fire, Buck was already Bobby’s biggest fan. He loved that he got to move in with the firefighter who saved his life - and his awesome police officer wife (who had argued the social services lady until he and his sister could stay together and live with them in their house).
“Do you let everybody you save from fires come to live with you?” Buck had asked, as Bobby drove him and Maddie from the social services office to their home in the suburbs.
Bobby had offered to let Maddie sit in the passenger seat, but she had wanted to sit in the back next to Buck, so he didn’t get too scared and feel lonely (even though she would’ve been only a few inches in front of him). So she sat next to him the whole way, holding his hand in hers.
“Actually no,” Bobby had replied, with a chuckle. “I guess that makes you special, huh, kid?”
Buck shrugged. “My mommy said I was supposed to be…” he had said, quietly.
“But what do I always say?” Maddie had said quickly, when Bobby had given her a puzzled glance in the rearview mirror.
Buck had smiled then. “You say I’m the most special kid in the whole world!” he had said.
“Yeah, because you are!” Maddie had told him, with a smile.
Bobby had grinned as he listened to these two, and watched them interact. God help him, he already adored the both of them.
Getting used to having five people in the house – with three of them being kids – had definitely been an adjustment for everybody.
Maddie took to May instantly, as she loved kids, and already had experience being a big sister.
…Buck was not used to someone making that much noise and needing that much attention – unless it was him. So, Bobby, Athena, and Maddie all took turns having more than a few talks with him when he got grumpy over Baby May’s screaming and hogging everybody’s attention.
Buck eventually got used to May, thankfully…especially when Athena pointed out to him that the baby girl always looked at him like he hung the moon. She absolutely adored Buck. And even though he was only a little boy, he could sometimes get her to quiet down (using gentle shushing like Athena and Bobby had taught him) when nobody else could – not even Athena.
While Buck had instantly taken to Athena and Bobby, Maddie took a while longer to get used to having them as parents.
Margaret and Phillip Buckley had been so negligent and un-invested as parents, that Maddie wasn’t used to having parents who grounded her for being out after curfew, or for even asking her how her day was.
…She definitely wasn’t used to having a mother who rolled up in a cop car, lights flashing, when she was out in front of the movie theatre with her date, after she’d said she was going to a study group with some friends.
But Athena and Bobby were not giving up on her, or Buck, and they were not about to abandon them or kick them out for any reason. They were a family now, and families always stuck together and loved each other, no matter what.
…And when Athena told Maddie that as they sat in her squad car outside the movie theatre, Maddie cried.
…Because she was finally starting to believe it.
RAVI
A few months after Athena and Bobby officially adopted Buck and Maddie, Athena found Ravi.
She was part of a team of officers that breached the house of a pedophile that they’d finally been able to get an arrest warrant for. Athena had it out for the guy for months while they gathered evidence against him. It seemed like they never had enough for a warrant. Athena would come home seeing red a lot during that time, and when she walked in the door, Bobby would quickly tell Maddie to take Buck and May upstairs for a while because “Mom needs to yell.”
When she and her team of officers finally had their arrest warrant, they moved in on the guy’s house and after slamming him into the wall and cuffing him, Athena heard a child crying somewhere in the house. An officer who’d gone farther into the house to search it called out that there was a child in the back bedroom. Athena glared at the pedophile and handed him off to another officer, so she didn’t give in to the urge to do anymore violence against him. She followed the officer’s voice down the hallway into the back bedroom, where she saw little Ravi, sitting in the bed, backed up into a corner, looking absolutely terrified.
He was only three years old at the time.
After she talked it over with Bobby, Maddie was the first one of the kids to learn that they would be bringing another child into the family.
Athena came into her room while she was doing homework one night, and told her that she and Bobby were going to give her a raise in her allowance. Maddie sighed and said, “we’re getting another kid, aren’t we?”
“Yes, his name is Ravi. He’s three.”
“And this raise in allowance is because I’ll be doing more babysitting.”
“See how smart you are? It’s no wonder you’re getting so many A’s in school,” Athena said with a grin.
Maddie smiled.
“Buck has been saying how much he wants a little brother,” she said, with a smirk.
Athena chuckled.
“Well, now he’s gonna get one,” said Athena. “But God help us if Ravi starts taking after Buck…”
Ravi’s adjustment period after moving in with Bobby and Athena was very different from Buck and Maddie’s. Buck and Maddie had been neglected by their parents, but as long as they were with each other, they felt safe and comfortable.
Ravi took a very long time to feel comfortable, especially around Bobby. Athena had been expecting this, and had talked about it with Bobby and Maddie for weeks before Ravi had moved in. The abuse Ravi had suffered had taken a huge toll on him physically, emotionally, and psychologically.
Ravi connected Athena with being saved from his abuser, so he felt safe with her and stuck to her like glue. He cried and screamed when she would have to go to work, but their daytime babysitter, Carla, was a former child psychologist (who had worked a lot with the LAPD) and she had lots of experience with abused kids like Ravi, so she was very good at helping Ravi to calm down. Carla also talked a lot with Athena and Bobby about things they could do to help him feel more comfortable in his new home.
The first time Ravi hugged Bobby it was Christmas, that same year. Bobby and Athena had gotten him the Lego set that he wanted, and Ravi walked right over to Bobby, who was sitting near him and Buck on the floor, and put his arms around his neck, hugging him tight.
Bobby cried.
While they were hugging, Buck swiped the Lego set so he could play with it first, and Athena made him give it back by asking him if he wanted to be grounded on Christmas.
MADDIE AND HOWIE
Athena remembered another person they all associated with a good Christmas memory was Sue’s oldest adopted son, Howard Han.
But he certainly hadn’t come to Sue full of cheer and merriment…
After Howard had come to stay with Sue, he spent the first few months locked in his room, not saying anything to anybody, except to yell at anyone who dared knock on his door for invading his privacy. He was grieving for his mother, whom he’d recently lost to cancer, as well as for his best friend Kevin, whose family had originally planned on taking Howard in after his mother’s passing, but then Kevin died in a house fire and his parents couldn’t bear to take in another child so soon.
Howard was sad, and angry, and not interested in getting close to anybody ever again.
The only person Howard seemed to get along with was a girl who lived across the street – Henrietta (but call her “Hen”) Wilson. She was around the same age as Howard, and she was patient, and kind, and compassionate, and Sue knew she was everything Howard needed in a friend. Hen would sit on the porch and talk to him, or they would ride bikes, or do homework together. But during all that, Howard still barely said a word…and he would not smile.
Then, one afternoon, while Howard was sitting on the porch, trying to find some peace and quiet (Eddie and Josh could be so loud sometimes) - he saw a car pull up at Bobby and Athena’s house next door.
Bobby got out, along with Buck, who’d been riding in the backseat…and then Maddie.
Sue later told Athena that she had seen their car pull up from the living room window, and had wanted to go out to introduce herself to Buck and Maddie (whom she knew were just moving in) but when she saw the look on Howard’s face, she stopped.
Because she had never seen him happy to see anyone, she had never even seen him smile at all…until he saw Maddie Buckley.
He had actually rushed over to her and offered to help her with her bags, introducing himself while he awkwardly tripped over some of his words.
Bobby had willed himself not to laugh over how adorable the whole scene had been.
And when Sue came over later and she was talking to Maddie and Athena, Maddie mentioned that she had met “Howie” right after they had arrived at the house.
“Howie?” Athena and Sue had both exclaimed.
Maddie gave them a quizzical expression.
“Yeah, that’s your oldest foster son, right?” Maddie had asked (as Sue hadn’t yet officially adopted Howard). “He said his name was Howard, but that I could call him ‘Howie’.” She smiled.
“…He was really sweet. He said his mom always called him that and that it kind of stuck.”
After that, “Howie” seemed a lot happier, even smiling occasionally, and more eager to talk to people (especially Maddie).
He even volunteered to play Santa Claus for the kids every year at Christmas after that (Maddie and Buck had moved in with Athena and Bobby in January, and Sue had assured Athena that Howard definitely hadn’t wanted to entertain the kids at all that past Christmas, so they knew this was Maddie-related). Maddie thought it was so sweet, and Hen rolled her eyes the whole time, but agreed to play his Elf.
But when Howard got stuck in the chimney a couple years later, trying to make a grand entrance for the kids, Bobby and his squad had to be called in to help get him out. Hen tried not to laugh in front of the kids, who were worried about Santa, and she mentally applauded Buck for asking the big questions when he asked, “If he can’t get down our chimney now, how’s he gonna get in on Christmas Eve?”
Maddie told him and the other kids that this was a dry-run rehearsal for Santa, so he could scope out the house and its measurements and make all the adjustments he needed to come back on Christmas Eve.
After that day, Howard won a new nickname (from Hen, of course) – “Chimney.”
Sue and Athena watched Athena’s oldest daughter and Sue’s oldest son talk and laugh together and tried their best not think of how cute their future children would look…
MADDIE AND DOUG
But while some thought that Maddie and “Chimney” would make a good couple, Maddie unfortunately couldn’t agree (no matter how many times she found herself smiling while thinking of Howard Han). She was already in a relationship, and leaving him for another guy was ridiculous, and would be unfair.
…After all, she was in love with Doug.
Doug, who hadn’t wanted Maddie to go to Paris for the whole summer when she was 16 because he needed her. He had tried everything to get her to stay – begging, saying he “didn’t know if he’d be able to ignore” other girls who gave him attention, if she wasn’t around. He turned on the charm, saying he would miss her so much, and maybe he could get a ticket for Paris too (if she would lend him some money?). When that didn’t work, he’d screamed at her and accused her of wanting to whor* it up and sleep with French guys.
He apologized profusely when he called her the next morning, early. He explained to Maddie that he was just gonna miss her, and he didn’t want her to forget about him. Maddie had tears in her eyes, for a few different reasons, when she told him that she wouldn’t…she promised she wouldn’t.
It was then that he said, “OK, you can go then.”
Maddie didn’t tell her parents any of this until later…much later.
…After she had gotten home from Paris, and Doug dragged her away from her family’s “Welcome Home” party to have sex that was a little too rough, and a little too possessive on Doug’s part (“I love you, you’re all mine, you’re all mine, say it, Maddie…”).
After Doug had shown her the apartment he now lived in with his cousin (yes, he was only 18, but he’s an adult now, he should get to live like one, shouldn’t he?).
…After Bobby had insisted on seeing the apartment and remarked that if he wanted to live like an adult he should probably keep it clean like one.
Doug had plastered a strained smile on his face and reminded him that his own home wasn’t exactly spotless.
Bobby plastered on his own smile and reminded him that six people lived in his home, how many people lived in Doug’s?
Maddie practically pushed Bobby out the door and told Doug that she’d be back later. When Bobby forbid her from staying out past curfew, Maddie had snuck out of the house to go back to Doug’s.
And the next morning, when Buck asked her how she got that bruise on her neck (“That’s not a hickey, Maddie! Jimmy’s big brother shows us his hickeys all the time!”), Maddie told him she whacked her neck with a cabinet door, and don’t worry about it.
…After the Christmas party when Howard earned his new nickname, and Doug had spent longer than anybody laughing at him for getting stuck in the chimney - then glaring at Maddie whenever she and Howard talked and smiled at each other after that.
…After New Year’s Eve, when Maddie called Athena, who was on-shift, from Doug’s apartment.
“…Mom?”
“…Maddie? Baby, are you OK?” Athena asked, with her phone on speaker as she drove in her squad car.
“My head really hurts.” Maddie murmured.
“Oh, you got a headache?” Athena asked, sympathetically.
“No, I…I think my head’s bleeding.”
Time suddenly stopped for Athena, in that moment.
“Your head is bleeding?” Athena asked. “How did you hurt yourself?”
“I don’t…I think Doug hit me, Mom,” Maddie would tell her, starting to cry. “There’s blood on the sink, but I – how could I hit my head on the sink - ?”
“You’re in the bathroom?” Athena would ask.
“Yeah.”
“Can you stand up?”
“I kinda tried, earlier, but my head feels…I can’t, I can’t get up,” Maddie told her.
“OK, then don’t try, baby,” Athena advised her. “Just stay right where you are. Is the bathroom door locked, do you know?”
“I don’t think so,” Maddie said.
Athena heard some shuffling on Maddie’s end, then Maddie came back on the phone. “…No, it’s unlocked. Should I open it and try to get out into the living room? I could maybe crawl – “
“ – No, Maddie, don’t you move, especially not with a head injury,” Athena instructed her. “Do you know where Doug is? Is he still in the apartment?”
“No, I don’t think so….Oh, I remember!” Maddie exclaimed, woozily. “He said he was going out for some gauze for me and some beer for himself and that I should stay in the bathroom, because if I keep bleeding, I can bleed into the tub, and we can just easily rinse it out later.”
Athena had been gripping the steering wheel so tightly at that point, her own knuckles were turning white (which was saying a lot, considering she was a woman of colour).
She was angry at Doug, and fearful for her daughter.
And that kind of mixture of emotions in a mother was a dangerous combination.
“…But that was…I think it was a while ago, I’m not sure,” Maddie would say, groggily. “…So maybe he went out to get some other stuff too?”
“Baby, stay where you are, do not move, but if you hear Doug come back before I get there, you lock the bathroom door, OK?” Athena instructed her. “Mama’s on her way.”
“OK, Mommy.”
Athena got on her radio and immediately contacted dispatch to send an ambulance to Doug’s apartment address – she told them there was a 16 year-old female, alone, who was injured and suffering from head trauma.
Athena kicked in that apartment door on the first try. She rushed into the bathroom and kept Maddie still and awake until the paramedics arrived, and rode with her in the ambulance to the hospital.
Athena talked to Maddie in the ambulance to keep her awake, and Maddie held her hand the entire way.
Luckily, these paramedics weren’t from the 118. Athena didn’t know what Bobby would’ve done, if he’d been with them and seen Maddie like that.
She did call him from the hospital while Maddie was getting some rest in her hospital room, thanks to the pain medication (since she had a concussion, though, she was only allowed to sleep for a couple hours at a time). After hearing from Athena, Bobby left the younger kids with Sue and rushed down to the hospital in record time.
After Bobby arrived at the hospital and found Athena, he immediately hugged her, while still a little breathless (he had sped there in his truck, parked illegally, then run from his truck through the ER entrance – he would get a few tickets that night).
“…Where’s Maddie?” Bobby asked, after he finally released his wife.
Athena gestured to the room beside them. “She just came out of X-ray, now they’re doing a full body examination to see if she’s got anymore injuries.”
Bobby’s jaw set and something cold and angry ignited in his eyes.
“…And where is Doug?” he asked.
“Doug actually had the stupidity to show back up at the apartment building when the paramedics and I were just getting Maddie out of the building,” Athena told her husband. “Another officer was there by that time, so I told him to arrest his punk ass and take him down to the station for booking so I wouldn’t do anything I may regret – ‘course, I kept that last little bit to myself.”
Bobby nodded.
“Any chance he’s allowed to have visitors?” Bobby asked. “…Because I’d very much like to kill him.”
“…Sargeant Grant?”
Athena turned to see a female doctor standing outside Maddie’s hospital room.
“You didn’t hear that,” she told her.
“Didn’t hear a thing,” she told her. “Your daughter’s examination is over. Other than the concussion and the head wound, which should heal up just fine, there don’t seem to be any other serious injuries.”
“What about non-serious injuries?” Bobby asked.
The doctor paused for a moment.
“Maddie does seem to have quite a bit of bruising on her back and her abdominal area,” she answered.
“That son of a bitch…” Bobby hissed. “That asshole hit her where he knew nobody would see!”
“Unfortunately, that is very typical in cases of abuse,” the doctor told him.
“Yes, we know,” Athena told her, quietly. “…We just never thought it would happen to one of our kids.”
“Seriously, Athena, where is he?” Bobby asked his wife. “Is he at your precinct, or another one? Which one? Is he in a cell, or just in a room with security? I can get past that security, those guys know me, they’ll understand – “
“Bobby - !”
“Mr. Nash – “
“ - Dad?...Is that you?”
At the sound of his daughter’s voice calling out to him, Bobby immediately rushed into Maddie’s room, with Athena following close behind him.
He held Maddie as she cried, and he tried not to cry himself.
“I’m so sorry, Daddy…”
“Maddie Buckley-Nash, don’t you apologize for a damn thing, you hear me?” Bobby told her. “None of this is your fault.”
Maddie looked at her mother then.
“You raised me to be stronger than this, so why wasn’t I stronger?” Maddie asked her. “Why didn’t I leave…?”
Athena took her daughter’s hand and sat down on the bed, in front of her.
“You didn’t leave because you see good in everybody, Maddie, and that’s not a bad thing,” she told her. “You thought he could change, you didn’t think it was who he was, just things he did every now and then because he got mad. And you blamed yourself for making him mad because he blamed you. He turned it around and always made it seem like it was your fault he acted that way - because that’s what abusers do. That’s what scumbags like him do. But it wasn’t your fault, Maddie. And you are gonna come out the other side of this, and we’re all gonna be there with you, every step of the way.”
Just then, out in the hallway and in the main room of the ER, they heard people cheering and even blowing noisemakers.
“…Happy New Year,” said Bobby.
“Yeah, you hear that, Maddie?” Athena commented. “It’s a brand new year. That means we can leave Doug and all the misery he brought on you behind…and that anything we want can happen now.”
“Even good stuff?” Maddie asked.
“Especially good stuff,” Bobby replied.
“Oh, Maddie, honey…” said Athena, as she grasped her daughter’s hand. “…You have so much good stuff ahead of you, I promise.”
And a couple of months later, when Howard asked Maddie out for Valentine’s Day… she said yes.
BUCK AND EDDIE
The past four years since Maddie and Buck first moved in had been an absolutely crazy, amazing whirlwind for the family. Everyone was now a little older, a little taller, and Maddie was about to graduate high school in a few months. She was waiting to hear back from all of the colleges that she’d applied to, and was nervous for a number of reasons.
Athena knew that her oldest daughter had her heart set on Berkeley, which was in the state of California, but still far enough away that she’d be living away from home. Athena also knew that Maddie hadn’t been applying to many out-of-state schools because she had been worried about being too far away from Buck. She trusted her parents with him, obviously, but even though they had all been together for four years now, Buck still had a strong bond with Maddie. And if she moved farther away, he would probably have some difficult separation anxiety.
He still liked to call her to say goodnight when one of them was having a sleepover at a friend’s house.
After the two of them had moved in, Buck was practically clinging to her (sometimes literally), afraid that she may leave and never come back just like their parents did.
…But as soon as Athena and Sue had introduced Buck to Eddie Diaz, something seemed to shift just a little bit.
Eddie was one of Sue’s foster kids that she’d adopted just before Buck and Maddie came to live with Athena and Bobby. His parents and two sisters had died in a car accident when he was still a toddler. Eddie was the only survivor.
He and Buck befriended each other almost instantly (‘almost’ because there was a period of the first few days where they had the “my toys are better than your toys!” and “I can do that better than you!”-arguments). They spent quite a lot of time together, playing, talking, and riding bikes (after Bobby and Maddie taught them how to ride on their own – first with training wheels, then without). Buck still liked to be with Maddie, and to know where she was when she wasn’t around him, but he no longer had to be stuck to her side at all times. Athena and Bobby had been so glad that Buck had made another strong connection to someone.
There had been times, recently, when the two parents wondered just how strong the connection between the two boys was. Buck had lots of friends at school, but Eddie was his best friend…and quite possibly his favourite person in the whole world (next to Maddie). It seemed like Buck always had news about Eddie when the family sat down to dinner, or breakfast…or family game night. Athena observed that he always had a sparkle in his eye when he talked about him, and there had even been a time or two when she had caught him blushing when Maddie or Bobby asked about him.
Bobby finally brought it up when he and Athena were alone in the kitchen one night, doing after-dinner clean-up.
Buck had just had his ninth birthday, and during the party itself, Athena had to actually tell him that he had to spend time with the other kids too, not just Eddie.
“So…” Bobby began, as he started to fill up the sink with warm water, to soak his roasting pan in.
“Hmm…?”
“Buck and Eddie, they’re definitely close, wouldn’t you say?” Bobby asked.
Athena almost snorted at her husband’s attempt at being nonchalant.
“Of course,” she said, as she loaded the dishwasher. “They’re best friends.”
“I know they’re best friends, I just mean…” Bobby paused as he was clearly trying to think of how to continue. “It just seems like Buck’s – “
“ – Smitten?” Athena asked, smirking as Bobby’s head whipped around and he stared at her with wide eyes.
“Exactly!” Bobby replied, clearly relieved that he wasn’t the only one who noticed. “Do you think he is having those kinds of feelings for Eddie? I’ve never noticed him act that way toward any other boys before. A couple girls, maybe…”
“He definitely had a crush on Abby Clark, when she came to babysit for the summer while Maddie was away,” Athena pointed out, speaking of the college girl who had come home to visit her mother, another neighbour of theirs. Maddie had been away on a special Paris trip with her AP French class, and Buck had been distraught – until he met his gorgeous new babysitter.
He had still missed Maddie, but Abby was definitely a good distraction.
He’d even asked Bobby if he could drive him and Abby to a nice restaurant for a date, and what kind of restaurant did he think she’d like? It was at that point Bobby felt it necessary to sit Buck down and have a little talk with him about dating, which he was not allowed to do yet, and with special emphasis on dating older girls, which he definitely wasn’t allowed to do yet.
Buck had gotten upset and yelled, “but DAD…! I’m 7 years old! I’m PRACTICALLY A GROWN MAN…!”
Bobby had kept calm and told him that grown men didn’t throw temper tantrums. Buck just pouted and rushed upstairs to wallow in his room.
Remembering that day, Bobby chuckled. “Buck definitely was not happy to know he couldn’t date her,” he recalled.
“Mm-hmm, and Eddie never seemed to be too happy during that time either, especially when Abby was around,” Athena pointed out.
“But Eddie did make friends with that girl, Ana Flores, at the daycamp he and Buck went to,” Bobby reminded her.
“And Buck definitely did not.”
“And what about that girl Taylor, in their class?” Bobby asked.
“Buck liked her and Eddie thought she was a snob,” Athena reminded him.
“They really never like girls at the same time, do they?” Bobby asked, with a chuckle.
Athena shrugged. “I guess they’re just a little possessive of each other. And maybe there is a bit of a crush going on there, who knows…?”
Bobby stopped and dropped his scouring pad into the soapy water. “Oh my God, Athena…” he said, with a huge grin.
“Now, don’t get excited, they’re kids, they’re still growing and experiencing new things and feelings every day,” Athena reminded him. “If Buck’s feelings get stronger down the road, we’ll let him come to us to talk about it…whether it’s about Eddie, or anyone else. But above all else, we let him know we love him no matter what.”
“Always,” Bobby agreed, with a smile.
RAVI (part 2)
Athena and Bobby would take all the smiles and joy they could get around that time, because it gave them the energy to pass them on to Ravi.
Ravi hadn’t been at Buck’s ninth birthday party because he’d been nauseous and drowsy from his chemotherapy session that morning.
Athena, Maddie, Sue and Chimney had taken all the kids out to the newest superhero movie in the afternoon, and had cake, good, and presents in the special kids’ party room at the movie theatre…and Bobby stayed home with Ravi.
Ravi was sick, tired, and miserable. He hated having leukemia, and he especially hated that he had to miss his brother’s birthday because of it.
Bobby sympathized so much with his youngest son, and he told him that once he had a bit of a nap, then maybe the two of them could have some fun of their own.
Later, when Ravi woke up from his nap, Bobby had some sandwiches and Ravi’s favourite chocolate animal crackers set out on a big platter coffee table.
…They both knew he wouldn’t be able to eat it all because of his still-upset stomach, but it still brought a delighted smile to Ravi’s face.
They tried their hand at making balloon animals (not very successful), and Ravi nearly fell off the couch laughing as he watched his dad make silly faces while he blew up the balloons.
Ravi went into remission six months later. And they celebrated by having a big party.
…But Ravi still asked his dad if they could serve chocolate animal crackers and do balloon animals, along with the rest of the party activities.
Bobby had grinned and told his son that that was the first thing he written on the party’s to-do list.
-----
Athena suddenly blinked and brought herself back to the present day – where her coffee was getting cold, and her kids were yelling at each other in the living room.
And her wonderful husband was calling out to them as he walked into the kitchen…
“ – Hey! Keep the noise down or I’m coming in there to supervise! And you know I like to ask questions during those anime shows!” Bobby gave Athena a ‘Good Morning’ kiss right before he opened the fridge to grab a carton of juice.
“…And it better be an appropriate anime show, Buck! Or you’re grounded!” he added.
“…I KNOW, DAD!”
Bobby then looked over at Athena.
“…We updated the parental controls on the TV, right?” he asked, in a low voice.
Athena nodded, chuckling.
“What’s so funny?” he asked, putting the juice on the counter, and walking the short distance to his wife to put his arms around her.
“You,” Athena replied, with a smile. “You’re just such a…dad.”
“Oh yeah?” said Bobby, with a smirk. “Well, you’re a mom, so there.”
Athena laughed and held Bobby tightly.
She cherished the memories she had, the good and the bad ones. Every member of their family came with their own set of baggage, but it was okay, because they faced as much as they could together. And when it came to facing things by themselves, they knew they were strong enough to because of the people they knew were in their corner.
Athena loved this moment right here. Her and her husband laughing in the kitchen while their kids made noise (and probably a mess) in the next room.
She wanted to live in this moment for a while, because she knew that not all moments that came after would be as good as this one.
And she was right. Their family definitely had a lot of moments still ahead of them, both very, very good, and heartbreakingly bad…
MADDIE
Maddie would go on to graduate high school and attend UCLA. She’d study nursing and begin her career as a nurse in California…all the while keeping in close touch with her family and dating Howard “Chimney” Han (who would now be more open to people calling him “Howie” – he still wouldn’t overly enjoy being called “Chimney”, but that didn’t stop Hen).
…But then Doug would show up at her apartment one day, while she was waiting for Howie to pick her up for a date. He would have recently been released from prison, and he would be feeling vengeful.
Doug would knock Maddie out, load her into his car, and start driving, hoping to take her across state lines, making it harder for her family to find her.
Howie would show up to her apartment, finding it ransacked, and immediately call Athena. Athena would tell Bobby, but tell him not to tell the other kids, especially Buck. Athena would stop off at home for a few supplies, not knowing how long she’d be searching for Maddie (but knowing she’d look as long as it takes), and then she’d get in her car and take off, driving as fast as she could…only to discover her 12 year-old son hiding in her backseat when she was a few blocks away.
Buck would have eavesdropped on his parents’ conversation - because of course he would have – and that’s how he would find out that Maddie was in trouble.
Buck was stubborn, though. He got that from Maddie genetically, but he also got it from Athena (at least that was always Bobby’s opinion). He wouldn’t leave his mom’s car and go home until Maddie was coming home with them.
Maddie would finally get away from Doug two days later when they would stop to rent a cabin in Big Bear National Park, Doug’s last stop before he would take them across the state line.
He would have a gun. And in the past, he had intimidated Maddie, and bullied her, and beaten her.
…But despite all of that, Maddie would know that he still hadn’t broken her.
And she would not let him.
Athena would head to Big Bear following a lead a witness had given – two people fitting Maddie and Doug’s descriptions rented a cabin from him in the park. She walked quickly through the snow, her radio clenched tightly in her hand – when she heard a gunshot.
“MADDIE!”
Athena’s head would swivel around when she heard her son’s voice behind her.
“BUCK! I TOLD YOU TO - !”
“…MADDIE!” but Buck would pay no mind to his mother, running right past her, toward the sound of the gunshot.
Buck always insisted on running headfirst into danger and it never failed to scare the crap out of Athena, and Bobby.
But that day, as she would run to catch up with her son, she would eventually hear her oldest daughter’s voice…
“…Buck?!”
And it would be music to her ears.
Maddie would be injured, but she’d stumble through the snow to get to Buck, and he would be practically jumping through the snow to get to her, and Athena would be racing to get to the both of them.
She’d hold her two oldest children tightly in her arms as they held onto each other.
They would all be crying.
(But if you asked Buck, only two out of the three of them were crying)
----
Maddie would suffer more than a few sleepless nights because of what Doug had done, even more than she had when she was 16. She would suffer bouts of depression and PTSD for many months afterward. But ultimately, with her family and Howie’s support she would manage her mental health and come out on the other side of her darkness.
It would not be the end of her struggles with her mental health. But at the time, she was able to breathe, and heal from her past trauma.
BUCK
Buck would never tire of the need to run headfirst into dangerous situations. It had started with skateboarding and climbing trees when he was younger, and it would escalate into dirt-biking, white water rafting, playing roller derby and rugby, and pushing the speed limit while he drove (he’d never get charged, but Athena would still take his keys away as punishment, more than a few times).
Bobby had always referred to his recklessness as “going Full-Buck.”
Bobby and Athena could never figure out why he chose to act like this. It couldn’t be for attention, they always made time for their son. Was it about testing his own mortality? Or trying to give both his parents heart attacks? Because that’s where this all seemed to be leading.
Buck always just shrugged and said he didn’t know why he did it…but it definitely wasn’t for the latter option.
For better or worse, some of Buck’s questions about himself would be answered around the time he turned 16.
Just after Buck’s 16th birthday, the Grant-Nash household would receive some extremely surprising guests…. Margaret and Phillip Buckley.
Buck and Maddie’s biological parents.
Margaret would hand him an envelope containing a birthday card, and Buck would take it.
“Happy birthday, Evan.”
“Everybody calls me ‘Buck’, actually. And my birthday was three days ago, but thanks.”
Buck would then go to his room, shut the door, and call Maddie.
Maddie would be living across town, but she would earn more than few speeding tickets that day, racing to get to her brother.
…Because Buck never remembered their birth parents very much, but Maddie did.
And right after Maddie would walk in the door, she would walk right over to Margaret Buckley, her own flesh and blood, and slap her across the face.
Bobby would immediately grab her and hold her back from doing anymore physical harm, but Maddie wouldn’t let that stop her from yelling, and screaming at Margaret and Phillip for everything they had put Maddie and Buck through…both before and after they had run out on them.
“You…You never made it easy on us, either one of you!” Margaret would cry.
“We were supposed to?! We were KIDS!” Maddie would remind her.
“Maddie – !” Phillip would start.
“ – You two checked out as soon as he died and you know it!” Maddie would scream. “Buck failed you, and you couldn’t bear to look at him, so you all but left me to raise him! You should’ve just given us up as soon as Daniel died!”
“…Who’s Daniel?”
Maddie’s anger would die in her throat as soon as she heard her brother’s voice. Everyone would turn and see Buck standing in the doorway to the living room, and no one would be able to speak.
Margaret and Phillip would rush out a flustered apology, both trying not to cry as they practically ran out the door.
”…Maddie?” Buck’s voice would be the only one heard in the room then. “Who’s Daniel?”
Maddie, still being held (but not as tightly) by Bobby, would look at him with the saddest eyes he’d ever seen.
“…He was our brother, Evan,” she’d say. “He…he was younger than me, but older than you. He died when you were about a year old.”
Bobby and Athena would share a confused and worried glance.
…They had never heard of Daniel, either.
But Maddie would gently push out of her father’s arms and lead Buck over to the couch to sit down, ignoring everyone else but him.
“…How did he die?” Buck would ask her.
“He had leukemia,” she’d tell him. “Our parents had been trying for months to help him, but chemo wasn’t working, and they were told that a bone marrow donor would be the best option.”
The puzzle pieces would be starting to fit together for Athena and Bobby, but luckily not for the rest of their kids, so they would send Ravi and May to their rooms for a while.
Unfortunately, Buck wouldn’t understand either, but he was the one that needed to know the truth.
“…They couldn’t find a match, Maddie?” Bobby would guess.
Maddie would shake her head. “No, they didn’t.”
“They couldn’t find a match…” Athena would say slowly, gazing at Buck “…so they made one.”
----
Buck wouldn’t speak to Maddie for a week.
Bobby and Athena would also be a little angry that she never shared this part of her and Buck’s past with them, but ultimately, they would understand.
Maddie had never wanted them to have to keep this from Buck.
The only reason she had never told him herself was because she knew he had feelings of inadequacy, stemming from their parents abandoning them the way they had - leaving Buck, specifically, all alone in the house when he was just five years old. And she hadn’t wanted him to feel like anymore of a failure to them because, through no fault of his own, he couldn’t save someone they had loved.
Though Bobby wouldn’t be angry with Maddie, he would still find himself to be angry.
…Angry at Phillip and Margaret Buckley.
He had always been angry with them, but now this would bring his anger to a whole new level.
A few days after Margaret and Phillip would drop by uninvited, Bobby would be in the kitchen, slamming drawers and banging pots and pans around while trying to fix dinner.
…The family liked to call it his “Angry Cooking.”
“…Bobby, you’re gonna rip every door in that kitchen off its hinges,” Athena would tell him.
“It’s fine, Athena.”
“Speaking of ‘unhinged’ – “
“ – Athena, please, just don’t, okay?” Bobby would snap. Then he’d stop, and take a breath. “I’m sorry, it’s just…been kind of a crazy few days.”
“Yeah, it has,” Athena would agree. “For Buck and Maddie more than any of us. I can’t get a word out of Buck. Have you tried talking to him?”
“No, he’s still not ready to talk about it,” Bobby would tell her. “…God, the absolute nerve of those people! Just walking in here and thinking they could give him a birthday card like they haven’t missed the past ten! ...Actually, eleven! Because they didn’t even give him the card on the right day!”
“Bobby – “
“ – Y’know, they came to the firehouse today?” Bobby would tell her. “They wanted to talk to me, to tell me their side of things.”
“And what did you say?”
“I told them they were still wanted on charges of negligence and child endangerment and to get the hell outta my firehouse. If Buck ever wants to contact them, he will do so.”
“Technically, the statute of limitations for their child endangerment charges ran out last year,” Athena would point out.
“Yeah, but they don’t know that,” Bobby would tell her.
Athena would sigh.
“Bobby, he is their – “
“HE IS MINE!” Bobby would shout, louder than she’d ever heard him before. “I CARRIED HIM OUT OF THAT BURNING HOUSE, THOSE PEOPLE LEFT HIM THERE TO DIE! I FOUND HIM, I LOVED HIM, I HAVE TAKEN CARE OF HIM, AND PROTECTED HIM EVERY SINGLE DAY OF HIS LIFE SINCE HE WA 5 YEARS OLD! I HAVE NEVER TREATED HIM LIKE A FAILURE BECAUSE HE HAS NEVER, AND COULD NEVER FAIL ME! HE IS MY SON, ATHENA! MINE!”
Athena would feel all those intense feelings radiating off of Bobby – the worry, the anguish, the anger, the possessiveness, the love…
…But she still would still manage to quirk an eyebrow at him, just a little.
“…And yours too, of course,” Bobby would add, in a quieter voice.
“Well, thank you,” Athena would say. Then she would walk over to her husband and cup his face in her hands.
Bobby would have tears in his eyes.
Athena had always known that even though Bobby loved all of their kids, Buck had always been special. That boy had latched onto his heart the moment he pulled him out of that house.
Maybe it was because he wasn’t able to save his own kids from a burning building, but he had been able to do that for Buck.
…Buck had been part of his redemption for himself.
“..Buck’s not the only one who suffers from fear of inadequacy, is he?” Athena would ask.
“I guess, I’ve always kinda had this feeling…this fear gnawing at me, that they would come back, and they’d want Buck and Maddie back,” Bobby would confess then. “Maddie would be able to make up her mind about it more easily than Buck because she remembers them, she knew them. But Buck…”
“…Buck doesn’t have nearly as many memories of them, good or bad, so you think he’d be more willing to have a relationship with them?” Athena would finish for him.
Bobby would give a deep sigh then.
“I know we always tell Buck to give people a chance,” he’d say. “But these people…knowing what they did and now knowing why they did it….I mean, I know what it’s like to lose your kids. I know how powerful that grief is. But taking it out on your other kids like that, treating your son like a failure when he’s still an infant for God’s sake – “
“ – It’s not fair, you’re right,” Athena would agree. “Y’know…Maddie’s always said that Buck’s been a little daredevil basically ever since he could walk. You think, maybe, subconsciously, that’s why he started acting like that? To get his parents attention? To force them to show concern for him?”
“Well, if that’s true, then why did he keep acting like that after he came to live with us?” Bobby would ask.
“Well, I guess old habits die hard,” Athena would say. “…It was probably just ingrained in his character by then.”
“Well, that would make the most sense, I guess,” Bobby would agree. “After all, we’ve always given him plenty of attention and shown concern. Heck, some of us could be called overprotective – “
“ – I know you’re not talking about me.”
“You shadowed him on his first date, Athena.”
“The girl was a year older than him and dressed like a back-up singer for Tina Turner! That is not somebody I want around my son!”
Bobby would chuckle then. “Good point,” he’d say. “…But what about the Buckleys? Do we want them around our son, or our daughter?”
Athena would pause for a moment. “I think that should ultimately be up to our son and daughter,” she’d say. “…But hopefully, as a united front.”
Bobby would nod, and a few minutes later he would knock on the door of the bedroom that Buck and Ravi both shared – but thankfully Ravi wouldn’t be in there at the time (which would probably be a safe choice on Ravi’s part). Bobby wouldn’t wait for Buck to say he could come in before he’d walk in the room, and shut the door behind him. And while Buck would scowl at him from his desk, where he’d been playing a video game on his computer, Bobby would take out his cellphone and toss it on the bed.
Bobby would then tell Buck to call his sister and actually talk to her, as well as listen to what she had to say…then they should contact Phillip and Margaret Buckley and set up a time where they could all sit down and talk.
It was time that everyone got to say what they wanted to say, and hear what they needed to hear.
RAVI
Ravi’s abuser from his early childhood would be up for parole when Ravi was 13. He would know by then that the man was not a relative, but a man who kidnapped him, and other children, as part of a child-sex-trafficking ring. Athena would tell him that he did not have to speak at that man’s parole hearing if he didn’t want to. Athena would go to speak about the case as she remembered it (and she would still remember it very clearly), and other victims, who had been older at the time they were abducted and abused, would be there to speak about what they remembered and how they were affected.
But Ravi would want to go. He wouldn’t be able to remember a lot from back then, but there were certainly a lot of ways the abuse had impacted his life that he would want the parole board, and his abuser to know about.
He would speak about how he was scared of essentially every adult male he met for months, even years, afterward. He’d speak about how it took a full eight months to feel safe around Bobby after he moved in with him and Athena. He hadn’t even liked it when Bobby stood near him. His first reaction around his male teachers or coaches (even up to that present time) was always discomfort and mistrust. He talked about how, the first time a girl kissed him, he’d ran away and thrown up.
He listened to the other victims’ impact statements as he sat there in that room with his parents and his siblings, who would all insist on being thee to support him.
Not all of these kids - now teenagers, and some adults - had found a good support system like he had. They were all still coping with their trauma, in many different ways.
But Ravi personally would feel very lucky that he had found people he knew he could trust, and who loved him without wanting anything in return.
(Even if his big brother did still jokingly try to swipe his Christmas presents sometimes)
RAVI AND BUCK (AND TOMMY)
Ever since Ravi had been little, he’d been confused about sex and sexuality. His therapist had always told him that victims of sexual abuse tended to have that confusion, and that the feelings of confusion and extreme curiosity were normal.
So, when Ravi would find himself observing how his other brother paid attention to girls…but also subtly paid attention to boys too, he would never feel too weird about it.
…But he should’ve known that Buck would probably take an issue with it.
Like one day, when Ravi would be 13 and Buck would be 16, they would be visiting the firehouse and Ravi would instantly notice a reaction in Buck when their dad introduced them to the 118’s newest recruit.
“Boys, this is Tommy Kinard, he’s our new probie at the 118,” Bobby would say with a smile, as he introduced the young man standing next to him. “…Tommy, these are my sons, Ravi and Buck.”
Tommy would appear to be in his early twenties – Ravi would probably guess about 21 or 22 – with nice blue eyes, great hair (brown in colour), and he was tall and well-built.
And Ravi would immediately notice that Buck was staring at him.
“Hi,” Ravi would say, greeting the young man with a friendly smile and a handshake.
“Hi! Nice to meet you guys,” Tommy would greet with a bright smile – showing off his pearly white teeth.
Then they would all look at Buck, who was still staring at Tommy, and Ravi would subtly nudge him in the ribs.
“ – Hi! It’s, it’s nice to meet you too!” Buck would stammer, with an awkward smile as he shook Tommy’s hand. “So, you’re the new probie, huh?”
“Yeah, I started earlier this week,” Tommy would reply.
“Oh, cool,” Buck would say. “You’re lucky you get my dad as captain and not Gerrard, that guy was a total – “
“ – Evan,” Bobby would cut him off.
Buck would shrug at his father. “Oh, so you can call him that at home, but I can’t call him that even when he’s not here anymore?”
“Exactly,” his father would say.
“I heard Mom say you even called him the A-word in front of the Chief when he was firing Gerrard,” Ravi would add.
“’The A-word’?” Buck would give his brother a look like he couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. “…What’re you, 6 years old?”
“Well, at least I’m more mature than you, both emotionally and intellectually,” Ravi told him.
“Spell ‘intellectually’.”
“Spell – “
“ – Boys!” Bobby would cut them both off, his voice a bit then. “You’re not making a very good first impression on Tommy, here.”
“Oh, it’s OK, Cap,” Tommy would assure him. “I have two brothers, myself. I’m used to this.”
“Oh, you have brothers?” Buck would ask, Tommy having his full attention again. “Are they older or younger than you?”
“Both younger, actually,” Tommy would say. “I’m the oldest.”
“Oh, me too!” Buck would exclaim, grinning at Tommy.
“Uh, you’re not the oldest, Maddie is,” Ravi would remind him.
“Shut up, Ravi,” Buck would reply, keeping his eyes on Tommy. “…I’m the oldest brother.”
“Yeah, but – “
“ – Shut up, Ravi.”
Then there would be a momentary awkward pause, as Buck would still be smiling and staring at Tommy, and Bobby would watch his son and be slightly puzzled, and Ravi would be glancing at Buck and be slightly amused.
“So – Chimney! You work with Chimney, how’s that going?” Buck would finally ask.
“Oh, Chimney’s great!” Tommy would say. “He’s very funny, and friendly - good at finding chores for me to do.”
Buck would laugh at the joke, and Ravi would bite back a smile at his brother’s hilarious awkwardness.
“Well, it is a probie rite of passage,” Bobby would say. “Speaking of which, it’s about time for those bathrooms to be cleaned.”
Tommy nodded. “On it, Cap,” he would say, then he would turn back to Buck and Ravi. “It was nice meeting you guys. Guess I’ll see you around?”
“Yeah, totally,” Ravi would say.
“You too!” Buck would reply at the same time, then cringe.
But Tommy would just smile and walk off, heading to the stairs that led to the loft.
“Buck, you guys go straight home, OK?” Bobby would tell Buck. “I want homework done before dinner…Buck?”
But Buck wouldn’t be listening because he was still watching Tommy’s retreating form, so Ravi would have to nudge him again.
“Yeah! Homework, dinner, got it,” Buck would tell his dad, snapping back to attention. “I am on it, I am on it like grease on bacon, we are good. Ravi, let’s go.”
And Buck would immediately turn and start walking out of the firehouse, so Ravi would be left to glance at his father, who would have a confused look on his face.
“…What is up with your brother?” Bobby would ask.
“Don’t worry, Dad,” Ravi would say. “…I’m on it.”
“RAVI, LET’S GO!”
“I’M COMING!” Ravi would yell back. “Bye, Dad. Be safe.”
And Ravi would jog out of the firehouse and back towards the car (Athena would get a ride in with a coworker that day, so Buck would be driving her car) where his brother would be waiting to drive them home.
---
“…Hey, Buck can I ask you something?” Ravi would ask, as they were both lying in their beds later that night.
“I’m trying to sleep, Ravi,” Buck would murmur.
“No, you’re not, you’re texting with Eddie,” Ravi would point out. “I can literally see the phone in your hand.”
“You don’t know I’m texting Eddie, I could be texting anyone,” Buck shot back. “I could be texting Jessica Alba.”
“I don’t think you’re Jessica Alba’s type.”
“I could be Jessica Alba’s type…!”
“…Are you texting with Tommy?” Ravi would ask.
In the light of Buck’s cellphone, Ravi would see him frowning at him. “What? I don’t even know Tommy!” Buck would say. “I don’t have his number, we just met him today! Plus, that’d be weird! He’s like…older! And he works with Dad! Honestly, why would I be texting Tommy? What is wrong with you?”
Ravi would shrug.
“I just kinda thought you liked him,” he would say.
“I mean, he seems like a cool guy, but I’m not gonna go and be friends with a guy in his twenties when I’m still a teenager, Ravi – Mom and Dad would kill me,” Buck would tell him.
Ravi would shrug, knowing that his brother would be speaking the truth. Their parents would DEFINITELY not allow any of them to be friends with adults (save for Chimney and Josh) while they were still minors.
“…Buck, are you gay?”
“What?!” Buck would shout, then quickly look at the bedroom door for a moment, hoping their parents didn’t hear that.
When no one came marching down the hallway and banging on the door wondering what the noise was about, Buck would look back at Ravi.
“…Why the hell would you ask me that?” Buck would whisper, angrily.
“Well, are you?” Ravi would ask.
“No!”
“Oh, OK.”
Buck would roll his eyes. “Ravi, why would you even think to ask me that?” he would ask.
“I just…I see you…noticing guys sometimes,” Ravi would tell him.
“What do you mean ‘noticing’?” Buck would ask.
“I dunno…the way you look at Eddie sometimes,” Ravi would say.
Silence fell over the room. And since Buck had put his phone down, his face was no longer illuminated by the dull light, so Ravi couldn’t see his expression.
“…Eddie and I are friends, Ravi,” Buck would finally say. “He’s my best friend, that’s it.”
“OK,” Ravi would reply. “…But what about how you were with Tommy today?”
Ravi wouldn’t be able to see Buck frown, but he would hear him shift around on his bed, clearly feeling uncomfortable.
“…How was I?” Buck would ask, quietly.
“You were staring at him,” Ravi would tell him. “You were practically gawking.”
“No, I wasn’t!” Buck would snap. “…Was I?”
“Kind of.”
“Well, that wasn’t – I’m not….” Buck would stammer. “…Tommy just seems really cool.”
“Yeah, he does,” Ravi would agree.
There would be another beat or two of silence, then Buck would sigh.
“I’m not gay, Ravi,” he would say. “I like girls, not guys.”
“OK,” Ravi would say.
“Does…does anybody else think that I like guys?” Buck would ask.
“No, I don’t think so,” Ravi would tell him.
Ravi would then swear he heard Buck heave a small sigh of relief.
“…It would be OK if you did though,” Ravi would say. “…Like guys, I mean. You can even like guys and girls at the same time, it’s called bisexuality.”
“Yeah, I know what it’s called Ravi…”
“I’m just saying, I don’t think anybody in the family, or anybody who knows you and cares about you would care,” Ravi would tell him.
“…You don’t think Mom would care?” Buck would ask, quietly.
“Why would Mom care?” Ravi would ask.
“Her first husband was gay, and she ended up hating him.”
“I think that was less because he was gay and more because he left her high and dry with no support when she had a baby on the way,” Ravi would point out.
“That’s true…”
“Besides, she knows Josh, and she loves Josh,” Ravi would point out. “We all love Josh. Nobody in our family or his family cares that he’s gay. There’s nothing bad about it.”
“OK, Ravi, I get it,” Buck would say, and lay back down in his bed, pulling the comforter back up around his shoulders. “Now, go to sleep.”
“I’m just saying – “
“ – I know what you’re saying, Ravi,” Buck would insist. “Now, please, for the love of God, just go to sleep.”
“OK, g’night.”
“’Night,” Buck would mutter.
They’d both lay in bed in silence for a few moments after that.
“…Thank you,” Buck would mutter, barely loud enough for Ravi to hear.
In the dark of their shared bedroom, Ravi would say.
“I got you,” he would reply.
Then Ravi would turn over and go to sleep.
MAY
May would grow up having lots of friends, and Athena and Bobby would be hard-pressed to find anyone who would say anything bad about her. She was well-liked by everyone she knew.
…Until she’d get to high school.
Some teenagers could be cruel, and unrelenting in their cruelty, solely just because they knew you existed in their school.
May would unfortunately come to know a few girls like that when she was 14. And it would all be because she was lab partners with one of their ex-boyfriends.
These girls would spam her social media with hateful messages, and bully her in-person at school every single day.
…And one day, May wouldn’t be able to take it anymore.
Athena would come home that afternoon, and find May out cold on the floor on her bedroom, having overdosed on some of Athena’s pain medication she’d had from a recent injury.
Athena would be terrified when she called 911, and did CPR on her youngest child to keep her alive. The paramedics – who turned out to be Bobby’s, because his team would be in the area – would take her out of the house on a stretcher, and Bobby would be there to help her to the ambulance (he’d know just from looking at Athena that she was close to collapsing). And he would drive in his truck right behind the ambulance, all the way to the hospital.
It would serve as a sick irony for Athena…that Bobby was there to take her to the hospital the day May was born, and that he would be there, driving to the hospital, right behind her, the day their little girl tried to end her life.
May would survive, but as soon as she told Athena and Bobby what had been going on at school, Athena would see red.
The very next day, she’d look up May’s main bully’s address and roll up to her house in a squad car, and haul her away for a “noise complaint” because of the party she was having at the time.
Athena would be assigned to desk-duty for a few weeks for arresting someone for a false complaint, but she wouldn’t care.
The girl’s mother would threaten to have her job, but Athena wouldn’t care about that either.
All Athena cared about was her children. She would protect them at any cost.
May had Athena’s own DNA, so she knew she had her strength. But of course, May would have a brand of strength all her own.
She would also prove that by eventually forgiving the girls who had bullied her, a few months later. She would even slowly become friends with them, a while after they had switched schools. They would contact her via social media, seeking forgiveness, and May, knowing that she deserved that peace and closure in her life, would give it to them.
Athena would not be able to understand how she could do that. How she couldn’t still be angry, because Athena herself was still very angry.
May would give her a hug and, while holding her, she would apologize for everything she put her through on that one horrible day, knowing it was still a trauma she carried with her.
…But this was the kind of person May wanted to be.
She wanted to be someone who forgave…but that didn’t mean she would forget.
It would just mean that she was done using up her energy thinking hateful thoughts toward those girls.
She wanted to be happy in her life and think of the future. Not continue to be angry about the past.
BUCK AND EDDIE
When Buck and Eddie would graduate from high school, the two families would have a big party at the Grant-Nash household to celebrate.
And that’s when Eddie would announce that, instead of going to college, he would be enlisting in the Army.
There would be a long silence, then….
“Why would you wanna do that?” Buck would ask.
Bobby would nudge his son, but Buck and Eddie would both ignore the tension around them.
“Because I wanna serve my country, Buck.”
“By going out and getting yourself killed? Christ, Eddie, you’re only 18!” Buck would say.
“Evan…!” both Bobby and Athena would scold.
“No, it’s OK,” Eddie would tell them. “Actually, what I really wanna do is become an Army medic. That way, the way I see it, I’ll be helping as many people as possible come home.”
“And what about you?” Buck asked. “Who’s gonna help you come home?”
“I won’t be alone out there, Buck,” Eddie told him. “There’s gonna be a lot of people fighting alongside me, having my back.”
Buck would stare at him for a moment.
“…You talk like you’ve already gotten into the Army, but you haven’t even applied yet,” he’d say.
Eddie would stare back at him, not saying anything.
“…You already applied,” Buck would say. “And you got in.”
“Yeah.”
“And this is the first you’re telling any of us about it.”
“Well, I did tell Mama Sue,” Eddie would say, smiling over at Sue. “She was pretty stressed at first, but she’s been really supportive.”
Then Eddie would look back over at Buck.
“…How ‘bout you, Buck? You gonna support me?” he would ask.
Buck would chuckle, but it would be one full of sarcasm instead of humour.
“What do you need my support for?” Buck would ask. “You’re gonna have a bunch of people over there having your back. You don’t need me, right?”
Then Buck would turn and walk right out of the house.
He’d get into his Jeep (Maddie’s old Jeep that she’d gifted to him have as a graduation present), and Eddie would come in right after him, hopping into the passenger seat.
“Seriously?” Eddie would say. “I’m so glad you’re being mature about this, Buck.”
“Get outta my car.”
“No.”
“Well, then buckle up.”
And as soon as Eddie would be buckled in, Buck would back out of the driveway and take off down the road, ignoring his mother yelling at him from the driveway.
Buck would tear down the streets and Eddie would sit in the passenger seat, rolling his eyes and waiting for Buck to stop going “Full-Buck” and talk reasonably with him.
Eddie had the patience to wait Buck out when he got like this, it’s one of the things that made them such good friends.
Eddie had patience to wait out Buck’s angry episodes, and Buck could talk him down from his. They understood each other. They trusted each other. They cared about each other more than just about anyone else in the world.
That’s why both their hearts would be just a little broken at that moment.
Buck would drive until they got to a hillside overlooking the city, and he’d stop the Jeep and storm out, refusing to look at Eddie.
Eddie would calmly get out of the car and stay standing a few feet from Buck, waiting for him to make the first move.
Buck would finally turn around and glare at him then.
“…How could you not tell me?!” he would ask.
Eddie would shrug. “Because I knew you’d try to talk me out of it,” he’d say.
“Yeah, you’re goddamn right I would have!” Buck would snap.
“…But you wouldn’t have succeeded,” Eddie would tell him. “Buck, this is something I’ve always wanted to do; ever since you and I would play with our G.I Joe’s in my backyard when we were kids.”
“But this isn’t a game, Eddie,” Buck would point out.
“I know that, Buck.”
“You could die. You could f*cking die.”
“I know.”
Buck would stare at him for a moment then.
“…And you still wanna do it?” he would ask. “Even if it could take you away from everyone you care about? And by ‘take you away’ I mean in every sense of the phrase?”
“I know in my heart that it’s the right thing for me, Buck,” Eddie would tell him. “I don’t know how else to explain it.”
Buck’s eyes would well up with tears.
“…It was supposed to be you and me, forever,” Buck would remind him. “We were gonna do a gap year together working odd jobs, becoming lifeguards like those guys on Baywatch – “
They would both chuckle at that.
“…We were gonna do it all together, Eddie,” Buck would remind him. “Now you’re leaving me to do it all on my own?”
Eddie would walk up to him and place his hand on his best friend’s shoulder.
“Buck, just because I’m going into the Army doesn’t mean I’m leaving you,” Eddie would tell him.
“That is literally what it means, Eddie.”
“OK, maybe in a geographical sense…” Eddie would say with a shrug. “…But I’m coming back, Buck. I’m always gonna fight to come to my family…and you’re part of that family. You always have been.”
“What am I supposed to do without you?” Buck would ask, his voice just above a whisper.
“Whatever you want!” Eddie would tell him. “You’re taking the year off, and you’ve got some money saved up, right? You don’t even have to stay in LA! Go wherever you want! Do something cool! Then write me and tell me all about it.”
In that moment, Buck would smile for the first time that afternoon.
“Yeah, maybe I could be a ranch-hand in Montana,” he would say.
“I hear it’s beautiful up there,” Eddie would tell him.
“Or a construction worker,” Buck would continue. “…Like I could help people build houses for Habitat for Humanity or something.”
“Sure!” Eddie would say. “You always made decent grades in Woodshop.”
“Or maybe I could be a Navy SEAL,” Buck would say. “I’ve heard you don’t even have to enlist to be able to do that.”
“Slightly hypocritical, since you didn’t even want me to go into the Army…”
“Yeah, but you’re doing it anyway.”
“True.”
Buck would sigh, and gaze at Eddie then.
“…I’m gonna miss you so much, man,” he’d say. “I mean, I almost – “
But Buck would stop talking then, so Eddie would look at him curiously.
“You almost what?” he’d ask.
“…Nothing,” Buck would say. “It’s just, like I said, I had…plans, for us, after graduation.”
“One change of plans doesn’t mean everything’s gotta change, Buck,” Eddie would tell him.
“It feels like it might though,” Buck would say, softly.
Eddie would stare at him for a moment, then pull him into a hug.
They’d hold each other for a few moments; both wondering if they should say the things they still hadn’t said to each other, but always had on their minds.
For a moment, Eddie would think about Abby Clark.
And Buck would think about Ana Flores.
But neither of them would say another word until they were back in the Jeep, and started arguing about what music to listen to on the radio.
And the morning Eddie would leave for the Army, and everybody would be crying and hugging him, Buck would be the last one to hug him before he left.
“I love you, Eddie,” Buck would say.
“I love you too, Buck,” Eddie would reply.
In the back of their minds, they would both have a small hope of what the other really meant. But they didn’t say or do anything more than that.
And Eddie would get into the car with Sue and drive away. And Buck would stand on the edge of the driveway watching the car get farther and farther away. And he’d still be there after everyone else drifted into the house.
Bobby would eventually come back out and stand beside him on the driveway. And he’d put his arm around Buck, and let his son put his head on his shoulder and cry.
---
“You said I could do it.”
“I was hopin’ you could tell I wasn’t actually serious.”
“Mom – “
“Athena – “
“Oh, are you seriously taking his side in this?!” Athena would ask Bobby.
A week after Eddie would leave for the army, Buck would pack his bags and announce that he was leaving, too. He wanted to spend his gap year traveling, and figuring out what he wanted to do with his future.
Which was not exactly an idea that was music tohis mother’s ears….
“I’m not taking anyone’s side,” Bobby would tell his wife. “But we did tell Buck he could take a year after high school to figure out what he wanted to do – “
“ – Yeah, as long as he was working!” Athena reminded him.
“I will be working!” Buck assured her. “That’s the reason I wanna leave, Mom! I wanna see other places and see what they have to offer! I will find work wherever I am, I promise! I just…don’t I deserve to see the outside of the city I grew up in at least once?”
Athena would sigh, and stare at her oldest son.
“…This is because Eddie left, isn’t it?” she’d say.
“No!...Well, yes, partly! But I always wanted to get out of LA, Mom!” Buck would tell her. “At least for a while. Just to see what the rest of the world is like, y’know?”
“Oh, so it’s the rest of the world you’re goin’ to see now, is it?” Athena would ask. “Just how much money you have saved up?”
Buck would risk a smile, but he’d know his mother would still not be completely convinced.
“I will be working hard, and being safe no matter where I am, I promise,” he would tell her. “I even promised Dad I’d take some rosary beads with me.”
“Good for hanging off a rearview mirror or keeping in the glove compartment,” Bobby would say. “Very travel-friendly.”
“Hmm, well I am still not travel-friendly,” Athena would say. “But I suppose this is better than waking up to find an empty bedroom with a note that starts with ‘Dear Mom, Now, don’t be mad…’.”
Buck would smile then. “So, I can go?”
“If you’re serious about this, I want you to have at least some semblance of a plan first,” Athena would tell him. “I want you making a travel budget – “
“ – Already done,” Buck would cut in, handing her a sheet of paper.
Athena would look over the paper, with a written budget listed on it…and then she’d glance over at her husband.
“…This is not all Buck’s handwriting,” she’d say.
Bobby would shrug. “I may’ve gotten a look at the first draft and done some tweaking,” he’d tell her. “But the thing is that Buck is gonna stick to this budget. And he’s gonna keep making new ones as he travels and hopefully earns more money. Right Buck?”
“Yes! Yes, I will,” Buck would say. “So, Mom…can I?”
Athena would look over the budget again, and sigh.
“Do you even have a place in mind of where you wanna go, or are you just gonna be traveling for the sake of traveling?” she asked.
“Well…I was thinking about going to Montana first,” Buck would tell her. “I hear it’s beautiful up there.”
Athena would look over at Bobby. Bobby would look back at Athena. And Athena would look back at Buck.
“…You will keep in constant contact with us, Evan,” she would tell him, causing him to break out into a grin. “I want to hear from you every day. I want you keeping in touch with your siblings – “
“ – I already promised Maddie I’d send her postcards,” Buck would tell her. “Ravi and May, too. May said she’s gonna make a little travel-collage with all the postcards and pictures I send her.”
“Did everybody know about this plan before me…?!” Athena would ask.
---
Buck would keep his promise to his mother. He would call home every day (well, nearly every day), he would stick to a strict budget (mostly), and he would keep in constant contact with his siblings (Maddie really loved those postcards).
The one thing that Athena and Bobby wouldn’t plan on was that Buck would be gone for longer than a year…he’d actually be gone for a few years (three years, to be more accurate). He also didn’t make it home for every Christmas and Thanksgiving, but if he wasn’t there, he would always call and tell his family how much he missed them, loved them…and wished he could be there to have some of Bobby’s famous holiday cooking.
Buck and Eddie would keep in touch, also. They’d both send each other their change of address whenever Buck moved on from his current temporary home and job, and Eddie would send him his change of address whenever his unit was stationed somewhere different.
The biggest surprise would come when Eddie would send Buck a letter saying that, after years of heading on overseas assignments for the Army, he was finally gonna be stationed stateside for a while. Only he wasn’t in California, he was stationed out of Texas, at Fort Worth.
What’s more…he’d met someone.
He would tell Buck in his letter that his new girlfriend’s name was Shannon, and she was incredible.
Buck would be in Peru, bartending, when he’d get this letter. He’d crumple the edge of the page a bit as he read it (by accident, of course), before setting it aside.
This would be the only letter or postcard Eddie ever sent him that Buck would consider (just for a second) throwing out.
Buck would visit Texas (at Eddie’s urging) that year, on his way home for Christmas. And he would meet Shannon, and he would agree with Eddie that yes, she was great.
The night Eddie would show Buck the engagement ring he’d bought for her, Buck would leave to head to California…claiming he’d really been missing his family.
As soon as Buck would get in the door, Athena would see him and make a comment about his “boyband-like” hair, and he would immediately hug her, not having heard a word she said.
“…I’m sorry I couldn’t get home sooner,” he would tell her. “…I’m sorry I was late.”
EDDIE AND SHANNON
After Eddie and Shannon would get engaged, they would get married a mere few weeks later. They would claim that Eddie didn’t know how long his post in Texas would last, so they wanted to make the most of it before he had to leave again.
Nobody except for Buck – not even Sue – would even meet Shannon until the wedding.
When the Blevins family would arrive at Eddie’s house (the wedding would take place in the backyard), Josh would hand his brother a beer, throw confetti in the air and cheer, and joke, “there, that’s your bachelor party!”
The wedding would be small, with just Eddie and Shannon’s immediate families in attendance.
Except Buck. Eddie would insist that Buck would need to be there as his best man.
And Buck would be there. Because Eddie had asked him to, and Eddie was his best friend.
He would do anything for Eddie.
…Even plaster on the most believable smile he could muster, and keep it going for the whole day. Even while he watched the look on Eddie’s face as he watched Shannon walk down the aisle.
Everybody was looking at Shannon as she walked, but Buck kept his eyes on Eddie.
And Chimney, who was standing behind Buck, as one of Eddie’s groomsmen, would give Buck’s shoulder the lightest of squeezes.
Because Chimney would know. And Josh would know. And Linda and Sue would know.
Everybody seemed to know except for Eddie.
And as she would walk down the aisle and her gaze flickered from Eddie to Buck, who was wearing that fake smile on his face, with the slightest it of sadness peaking through – Shannon would know, too.
BUCK (part 2)
After Eddie and Shannon’s wedding, Eddie, all smiles, would corner Buck and give him a big hug, thanking him for being there.
“…I’m so happy for you, buddy,” Buck would tell him, putting on that smile again.
“Thanks, man,” Eddie would reply, wearing an honest grin. “I’m happy for me, too.”
Buck would chuckle, and Chimney and Josh would choose that moment to come over and join in on the congratulations.
“Little brother’s all grown up now!” Chimney would exclaim, slapping Eddie on the back and handing Buck a beer.
“Yeah, married and a steady career!” Josh would add. “God, you’re so adult!...Wait, are we all adults?”
“Mama Sue always said I’ve been an adult since I was six,” Linda would tell them, as she walked up to the group “…it’s the rest of you guys that had to catch up.”
At the time, Josh would be working as a 911 dispatcher with Sue in LA, while Linda would be a high school guidance counselor. Chimney had been working as a firefighter for the past six years at that point, and always assured everybody that his career choice was not made because he wanted to suck up to the father of the woman he definitely wanted to marry someday.
“Hey, I’m very adult,” Josh would say.
“You still drink Capri Sun juice pouches,” Linda would remind him.
“Yeah, cuz they’re awesome!” Josh would retort.
“Well, we’re all adults now, except for Buck, as he’s still traveling trying to ‘find himself’,” Chimney would joke.
“As it happens, I am actually moving back to LA,” Buck would tell them, earning gasps all around.
“What, really?” Eddie would ask. “You’re coming back to the states permanently?”
“I knew he couldn’t stay away from us,” Chimney would say, turning to Buck. “…You missed me, didn’t you?”
“Oh yeah, Chim, you were definitely a big part of it,” Buck would reply, dryly. “No, but I am gonna be coming back this week and looking at a few apartments. I’ve got my eye on a nice loft downtown.”
“A loft, that is so trendy…” Josh would say.
“Yeah, you’re not moving in,” Buck would tell him.
“Oh please, some of us have been grown ups for a while, thank you very much,” Josh would reply.
“Oh yeah? Who?”
“Shut up, Chimney.”
“Yeah, I’ve uh…I’ve also been considering what I wanna do for work, as an actual career,” Buck would tell them. “It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while now, actually.”
“Is it flare-bartending? Please tell me it’s flare-bartending, I love free drinks,” Josh would say.
“No, I think my time as a bartender has reached its end,” Buck would answer.
“So, what is it?” Eddie would ask.
---
“No!”
“Dad – “
“ – Absolutely not!”
“Would you just listen – ? Can we at least discuss this?“
“ – There is nothing to discuss, Evan!” Bobby would tell him, as the two men stood in the kitchen and Bobby chopped vegetables for dinner. “Firefighting is not just a job. It’s not something you do for a few months and then quit and go onto something else – “
“ - I know that, Dad!” Buck would argue.
“ – It’s a serious career!” Bobby would continue. “Keyword – ‘serious’! It is a commitment!”
“Dad – “
“It’s also extremely dangerous!” Bobby would continue, and Buck wouldn’t be sure if his dad could even hear him talking. “And in that danger, we also have safety protocols! I don’t think you’ve ever listened to a safety tip in your life!”
“I know how to use a fire extinguisher, I know basic first aid, I know quite a bit emergency first aid – “
“ – Buck!”
“ – Dad!” Buck would fight back. “I’m not asking your permission, here! I’m telling you I already registered for the next term at the academy!”
Bobby would stare at him then. Not saying a word.
“…I got in,” Buck would tell him. “It starts in a few weeks.”
“Buck – “
“ – Dad, the very first time you and I met, you saved me from a burning building,” Buck would remind him. “You saved my life. I know all about the importance of helping people because of you. And Mom and Sue too! May, Maddie, Chimney, Eddie, Josh, Linda – they all grew up watching the three of you and wanted to help people too, in their own way. I wanna help people, Dad. I feel like…I feel like being a firefighter could be what I’m meant for. All the odd jobs, all the traveling…I did all that to help me make up my mind about what I wanted to do with my life. I wanna do this, Dad. I wanna be a firefighter.”
Bobby would stare at him for another moment before he spoke.
“…I am not putting in any favours for you,” he would say.
“I would never expect you to, or ask you to,” Buck would reply.
“Good, because you’re doing this all on your own,” Bobby would continue. “If it’s something you really want, then you better be prepared to work your ass off. You don’t quit halfway through, you don’t come crying to me, you don’t name-drop – “
“ – I would never.”
“Evan.”
“Dad.”
Bobby would sigh then.
“..Have you told your mother?” he‘d ask.
“Not yet, I wanted to tell you first,” Buck would tell him.
“…Well, in that case, you probably won’t even make it to your first day of training, because she’s probably gonna kill us both,” Bobby would mutter.
Buck would grin then.
“Fry the mushrooms, will you?” Bobby would say.
Buck would nod, and make his way over to the stove, behind Bobby.
“…But God help us all if you end up at my house…” Bobby would grumble.
“Oh, come on, Dad,” Buck would say. “There’s like a hundred firehouses in the city, what are the odds of that happening?”
---
Shockingly, Athena wouldn’t be as surprised or angry about Buck’s decision as Bobby and Buck thought she would be.
She wouldn’t be overly happy about it, but she’d say that out of all of their kids, she had always had a feeling Buck would be the one to follow in his dad’s footsteps.
(Bobby would consider it revenge for siding with Buck when he wanted to travel after high school).
Buck would start his fire academy training two months later.
A little over eight months after Buck would reveal his plan to Bobby, the members of Firehouse 118 would get word that they had a new recruit joining them.
Buck would walk into Firehouse 118 with a duffel bag slung over his shoulder and an LAFD hat on is head. Some firefighters who were doing inventory on the fire trucks would notice him and wave, giving him curious looks.
He’d smile and wave back, then head up the stairs to the firehouse loft.
“-’Scuse me!” he would call out to the table of firefighters and EMT’s eating their breakfast. “I’m supposed to be reporting to a Captain Nash…?”
Chimney’s eyes would go wide, as he chewed and swallowed his bacon and looked over at Bobby, who would be sitting next to him at the head of the table.
“…Buck’s our new recruit?” Chimney would ask.
“Why do you think I’ve been praying all morning?” Bobby would reply, dryly.
MAY (part 2)
After May would graduate high school, she would have a difficult discussion of her own with her parents…specifically, with her mother.
“…What the hell do you mean you’re not goin’ to college?!” Athena would yell.
Buck, Ravi, and Maddie – who had all just walked in the front door ready to have family brunch – turned around and walked right back out again.
“I decided that I’m gonna put it off for a while and work,” May would say, as her mother stood in front of her and her father was sitting down on the couch.
“Put it off for how long?” Athena would ask, with hands on her hips.
But May didn’t flinch.
“A year, at least – “
“ – At least?”
“I applied to the 911 dispatch centre,” she would tell them. “I wanna work as a 911 dispatcher.”
Bobby would scrub a hand down his face and sigh.
“…And you already got in, didn’t you?” he would ask.
“How did you know?” May would ask.
“Lucky guess.”
“I didn’t wanna tell you unless it was for sure,” May would tell them. “But I got in, so it’s for sure. I’m gonna be working full time at the dispatch centre. I’ll give myself a year, then I’ll think about whether or not I’m ready to go to college. I’m not completely writing off a college education, this is just something that I want to do right now.”
Athena would suddenly raise her eyebrow.
“…You already got the job?” she would ask.
“Yes, I did.”
“So, Sue knew about this?”
This would lead to Athena marching right next door – right past all three of her older kids who’d been hiding on the front porch, but trying to listen at the door - and having it out with Sue right in the other woman’s own living room.
“…She is too damn young for a job this stressful!” Athena would shout at Sue. “The things she’ll have to listen to over that phone - !”
“ - Are things that Josh and I have both heard and had to deal with,” Sue would calmly remind her. “And we’ll be there to help train her and guide her through all of it. We would never just send someone in blind, Athena. I especially wouldn’t do that with one of your kids.”
“Sue – “
“ – I’ve been trusting Bobby with looking after my son at work for a few years now, Athena,” Sue would remind her. “You can trust me with your daughter.”
Athena would sigh then.
“Sue, the things I’ve seen in my job…the things Bobby’s seen in his job…I never wanted any of my kids to have to witness any of that, in any capacity. But now Buck’s a firefighter and – “
“ – And Maddie’s an ER nurse, and May’s a 911 dispatcher and it feels like you can’t protect your kids from the horrors of the world anymore,” Sue would finish. “I know…I had that exact feeling when Josh told me he wanted to be a dispatcher, not long after Howie became a firefighter.”
Athena would swallow, and nod.
“…Our kids have all already seen a lot of scary things in their lives, Athena,” Sue would remind her. “…Even without the career choices they made.”
“I know that, But May – “ Athena’s breath would suddenly hitch for a second. “…I just, I don’t want her to have to hear the kind of call I had to make…the day she overdosed.”
Sue’s eyes would be full of understanding then.
“I’ll be with her every step of the way, Athena,” she would promise. “I will train her well. She won’t deal with anything alone, I promise.”
“…I’m going to have to, eventually.”
Sue and Athena would both turn in surprise and see May standing in the open doorway.
May would then walk over to her mother and stand before her, soft but resolute.
“I need to learn how to handle things on my own, Mom,” May would tell her. “You can’t protect me forever.”
“I am your mother, May Grant-Nash, I will protect you as long as I damn well want to,” Athena would tell her.
Sue would bite back a smile.
“Mom, this is something I want to do,” May would tell her. “Everybody else in the family is finding ways to help people in their own way – well, this is gonna be my way. And like, I said, it doesn’t mean I’m never going to college…just give me a year.”
Athena would gaze at her daughter, then glance over at Sue, who would shrug.
Athena would then look back at her daughter and nod.
“One year,” she would say.
“Of course, if things go well at this job – “
“ – May, do not push me right now.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
May would have a few bad calls during her training, and they did make her feel depressed and helpless. But after talking with the department counselor, and Bobby, who went through some of the same things as a first responder (but had to deal with seeing them in-person), May would find her stride and learn healthy ways to cope with bad calls and bad days.
There would even be a day where a gunman would barge in and take over the dispatch office. And miraculously, May would be the one to talk him down, and get him to surrender to the police.
While talking to May, the gunman, while threatening to hurt her numerous times, would keep telling her to shut up.
But May was patient. And May always wanted to help….that’s how she’d been her whole life. Whether it was when she was younger and she was helping Ravi through his nightmares, or getting Buck band-aids when he’d do stupid stunts on his bike, or laying in the hospital bed with Maddie after Doug had kidnapped her and she was in the ICU (they didn’t allow kids in the ICU but Athena would get them to make a very special exception for her kids – she was persuasive like that).
Or when she grew up and desire to help people inspired her to apply for a job at the 911 dispatch centre.
She wanted to help. And even though this man would have a gun pointed at her and her coworkers (including Josh and Sue) …he would be no different to her than her brother when he was having nightmares.
After the whole ordeal was over and the gunman would be in custody, Josh would tell Athena it was the bravest thing he’d ever seen.
MADDIE AND CHIMNEY
Maddie and Chimney’s relationship would be on and off for years, both citing issues of Maddie being not as ready as she thought she was to trust a man after what happened with Doug, then not being able to find enough time together while Maddie would be in nursing school and Chimney would be firefighting. They would always remain friendly and amicable during their time apart though, not ever having it in themselves to be spiteful or mean to each other…they would love each other too much to ever act that way.
A year after Buck joined Firehouse 118, Chimney would be in a devastating car accident. A piece of rebar would fly through his windshield (off a truck that would crash into him) and go right into the middle of his forehead.
The 118 would be the squad that responded to the call, and the nearest hospital they could bring him to would be the one Maddie worked at, as a nurse.
Maddie and Chimney would be in another “Off again” phase of their relationship at that point. But when she would see paramedics - followed by her father, her brother, and the rest of their squad - bringing Chimney (who had a metal rod protruding from his head) through the hospital doors on a stretcher, Maddie would not care if they were “Off again” or that her shift was over and she was exhausted.
…She would only care about being with Chimney.
Hen would be working at that hospital also, as a medical intern. She would sit with Maddie, Sue, Buck and Bobby at Chimney’s bedside all through the night. She would even fight for them all to stay with him when staff would tell them that visiting hours were over.
A couple of weeks later, when Chimney was declared out of the woods by his surgical team, and he could speak and comprehend words being spoken to him – Maddie would ask him to marry her.
“…You just wanna marry me because I just had a big metal bar sticking outta my head,” Chimney would joke, with a smirk.
“Well, it was a very sexy look,” Maddie would reply, with a smirk of her own “…but actually, I just wanna do it because I love you. And you and I have had so many uncertainties in our lives…but I’ve never stopped loving you, and you never stopped loving me. I don’t wanna run anymore, Howie. I wanna be with you forever.”
Chimney would smile then.
“…OK,” he would say. “Let’s do it.”
“…Also, I’m pregnant.”
“…Maddie, I just survived a near-death experience, please don’t give me a heart attack to celebrate that.”
“Right, sorry…I mean, I’m actually serious. But we can circle back to that…”
“…..What, what?”
---
Chimney and Maddie would both agree though that they didn’t want to get married until after the baby was born.
Bobby was a Catholic (he hadn’t forced any of the kids to convert after they’d adopted them or anything, but he did make sure they always said grace before a family meal), so everybody would be a little apprehensive to see what his reaction would be to his daughter having a baby before marriage.
…They would have their answer when Maddie and Chimney told him and he started to cry, and hugged them both.
Athena would get the whole thing on her phone and send the video to everybody.
Chimney and Maddie would both be over the moon about having a baby (Athena and Sue would get each other “World’s Best Grandma” sweatshirts, and Bobby would try, and fail, to learn how to knit). And after Jee-Yun (named for Howard’s mother) would come into the world, she would be everything to her parents.
…But after a while, Maddie would feel that something was wrong.
It wouldn’t be Jee, nothing would be wrong with Jee, or Chimney – Chimney would be a great father.
But Depression would be back for Maddie Buckley-Nash, and it would be worse than anything she ever felt before.
She would know that she loved Jee-Yun, but she would never feel like she was doing anything right. And she would feel overwhelmed, and tired (especially during emergencies in the city which would keep Chimney at work for days), and after an incident where Jee would momentarily slip under the water in the bathtub because Maddie dozed off while watching her, Maddie would feel it in her heart that Jee was not safe with her.
She would know she needed to be better for her daughter, but she would need to get away to get help for herself, because she’d know she wasn’t good enough for her and Jee didn’t deserve a mother like that.
She would leave Jee at the firehouse. She’d leave her with Ravi, who was visiting the 118 for the day, while everyone else was out on a call. And Maddie would head to Boston for treatment for Post Partum Depression.
She’d be gone for six months before Chimney would turn up in Boston and find her, himself.
She would cry, Chimney would cry, and Jee would cry, but Maddie would soothe her for the first time in months, and finally not feel like a failure as a mother.
And they would all go home together.
EDDIE AND CHRISTOPHER
“Oh my God, he’s adorable…!” Buck would exclaim, as he gazed at the photo Eddie sent him.
“I know, right?” Eddie would agree, sounding so proud as the two friends spoke over the phone.
Buck would be in LA, and Eddie would be in Texas…having just welcomed his newborn son into the world.
“Yeah, man that kid is lucky he got his mother’s looks.”
“OK, shut up, asshole.”
Buck would laugh at that.
“So, how long are you back for then?” he’d ask.
“Just a few weeks, then I have to go back,” Eddie would sigh. “Mom’s here now, and she’s a big help. But I know Shannon misses her own mom. It’s just, with the way her health’s been lately, she can’t really travel.”
“Has Shannon at least gotten to talk to her?” Buck would ask. “Has she seen those adorable baby pictures I just saw? Those could cure any ailment.”
“Unfortunately, I don’t think photography is quite so powerful that it surpasses modern medicine,” Eddie would tell him. “But she did see them, and she and Shannon talked on the phone for a while. Shannon was pretty quiet after that. I know she misses her.”
“Well, and who could blame her?” Buck would ask. “Hey, if you want, after you leave, I could…visit her and Christopher. I mean, I know she’s never really liked me all that much – “
“ – What?! Of course she likes you!” Eddie would interrupt. “Shannon’s always liked you! You’re…she likes you!”
“Eddie, it’s OK,” Buck would assure him. “I’ve been told by many that I’m an acquired taste. But if she’s feeling lonely, you can tell her…I’m here if she needs me. If she needs anything, she can give me a call.”
Buck would hear Eddie heave a sigh on the other end of the line.
“That’s…that’s really great, Buck, thank you,” he’d say. “I’ll tell her. So…did I mishear you, or did you say that Ravi wants to become a firefighter?”
“He wants me there when he tells Dad,” Buck would say. “I’m gonna ask one of Mom’s friends from SWAT if I can borrow a riot shield, just for the occasion.”
“You think Ravi’ll need a riot shield?”
“He might, but I’ll be the one using it. Because you know exactly what my dad’ll say…”
RAVI (part 2)
“…Did you put this idea into his head?!” Bobby would ask, wheeling on Buck, pointing at him with a kitchen knife.
“See, Ravi, this is why I said we should wait until after dinner, and not before dinner, when Dad’s chopping and cutting stuff up,” Buck would tell his brother, while he had his hands up defensively. “…Because I do not want to be one of the things that he chops up!”
“Dad – “
“ – Ravi, I keep telling you, you do not have to do things just because your brother does!” Bobby would tell him.
“Hey - !”
“ – Shut up, Buck!” both Ravi and Bobby would snap at him.
Then Ravi would turn back to his father, looking a little angrier now.
“Give me a little more credit than that, Dad,” he would say. “I’m not doing this because of Buck.”
“What about college?” Bobby would ask. “What about your Journalism degree?”
Ravi would shrug then. “I dropped out.”
“What?!” both Bobby and Buck would shout.
“Oh, like you didn’t know he dropped out?” Bobby would accuse his older son.
“I didn’t know he dropped out!” Buck would insist. “He just told me he was thinking about joining fire academy, and weighing his options, but he never said that he’d actually dropped out of college already! Hey, I am pro – education!”
“Oh yeah, cuz of the Jack of All Trades degree you got at ‘Travel Around and Find Yourself’ University?” Bobby would snap.
“Dad - !”
“- For God’s sake, this is not about Buck! This is about me!” Ravi would yell, causing his brother and father to turn their attention back to him. “I already got into the fire academy. The next term starts in two weeks.”
Bobby would groan.
“Why do you kids only tell us about your crazy plans after you’ve already started putting them in motion…?” he would whine.
“To show you that they’re not ‘crazy plans’ to us, and that we’re serious,” Buck would tell him.
Bobby would put his knife down, walk into the living room, sink into his favourite chair, put his head in his hands and sigh.
“Ravi, you’re only 21 years old, for God’s sake…” he would say.
“Buck was 21.”
“He was 22 by the time he graduated, and you just said that this wasn’t about Buck,” Bobby would point out.
“The only age requirement is that you be over 18, and I’m over 18,” Ravi would remind his father. “If I don’t make it, I’ll go back to college and finish earning my degree, I promise. I just…I have to know if I can do this, Dad.”
“Proving that you can earn a position and actually working in that position for a few decades are two very different things, Ravi,” Bobby would tell him.
“I just meant – I know I’ll always regret it if I never try,” Ravi told him. “I want this, Dad. I really, really want it. This has been something I’ve wanted ever since I was a kid, but I wasn’t sure if I had what it took to do it. But then Buck became a firefighter – ”
“ – Uh, hey.”
“No offense,” Ravi would tell his brother.
“Oh yeah sure…” Buck would roll his eyes.
“ – And I realized that maybe it wasn’t so far out of reach for me,” Ravi would continue., looking back at his dad. “It’s not something so much larger than life that just my dad the hero can do – “
“ – OK, now is that a compliment, or an insult to me?” Bobby would ask.
“Yeah, Ravi, we really gotta work on your ‘Winning Argument’ talks…” Buck would mutter.
“OK, fine, so there are some things I’m not good at!” Ravi would agree. “…But I could be good at this. I want to be good at this. I wanna be a firefighter, Dad.”
Bobby would sigh, and stare at Ravi, then he’d look over at Buck.
Buck would simply shrug in response.
Bobby would shift his gaze back to his younger son and regard him, sternly.
“…In that case, the same rules I had for your brother apply to you, too. I will not call in any favours for you, and you will not drop my name with anyone, ever, while you’re at the academy. Do we understand each other?”
“Absolutely.”
“You want any help with training outside of academy time? A gym buddy, somebody to go with you on 5k runs at the crack of dawn? You ask your brother, not me.”
“- Wait, what?!” Buck would squawk. “Why am I the training buddy?”
“Because I’m your boss, and I’m making it an order,” Bobby would tell him. “You got a problem with that?”
Buck would pause, then sit down on the couch and pout.
“No…” he would grumble.
“Good, and you can also be there to help Ravi explain all this to your mother,” Bobby would say.
“Oh, she already knows,” Ravi would tell him.
“What?!”
“Yeah, who do you think got us the riot gear…?” Buck would ask, gesturing to the large plastic shield sitting against the wall in the living room.
MAY (part 3)
A few months after Ravi would graduate from the fire academy (and wouldn’t you know it, he ended up at Firehouse 118), and May would have been at the 911 dispatch centre for about a year and a half, she would invite everyone over to Bobby and Athena’s for a big family dinner (which she would cook… well, mostly…well, she’d cook a few things, Bobby would do most of it, but he’d happily give her the credit).
When everyone was seated, May would stand near the head of the table and say that she had an announcement.
“…If she says she’s signing up for the fire academy, you and I are flipping this table over,” Bobby would mutter under his breath to his wife.
“Why are we both doing it?” Athena would ask.
“Because I can’t do it by myself,” Bobby would reply.
“I’ve decided…that I’m ready to start college,” May would continue.
“YEEES!” Bobby and Athena would cheer, high-fiving each other.
“Wow, that was subtle,” Buck would joke.
“Yeah, you two, tell us how you really feel,” Maddie would remark, smirking as she fed Jee-Yun in her high chair.
Bobby and Athena, ignoring the smart-ass comments from their kids, would be the first ones to get up and hug May, congratulating her.
Two weeks later, it would be May’s last day at the dispatch centre…when something horrific would happen.
Because of a malfunction that would happen while the electrician was making some repairs, a fire would break out in the dispatch building – and it would spread quickly.
May would be in the ‘Quiet Room’ downstairs with another coworker – so ordered by Sue after they had had a heated argument on the main dispatch floor – and they wouldn’t hear the announcement to evacuate with everyone else.
By the time multiple fire companies arrived on the scene – including the 118 – most of the building would be engulfed in flames.
“…Has everyone been evacuated?” Bobby would immediately ask Sue.
“Yes,” Sue would tell him.
“…So May got out?”
Bobby would see Sue immediately freeze.
“Oh my God…” she would murmur. “…She and Claudette were in the Quiet Room, it’s on a different floor from the main dispatch area. They may not’ve heard the announcement over the PA system…”
“Which floor is the Quiet Room on?” Bobby would ask, trying to stay calm.
Buck, of course, would be ready to go in right away to save his sister – but Bobby would assign him and Chimney a different floor to work on. Bobby would then relinquish his power as Site Captain to the other fire captain on the scene – Captain Shore – and he would go in himself, heading to May’s floor with another one of his firefighters, Lucy Donato.
While Buck, Chimney, and Ravi would fight to get all injured parties still inside out of the burning building (including the electrician, who happened to be Josh’s new crush – which Chimney would bug him about later), as well as fighting to put out the fire itself, Bobby and Lucy would get to May’s floor and literally have to chop through the wall to get to her, as the door to her room was blocked by fire and debris.
Once they would get to May and her coworker, Claudette, Bobby would stick to May’s side and give Claudette to Lucy, so both civilians had one firefighter to aid them. When it looked like they were about to head off the floor, the ceiling suddenly caved in and May and Bobby got trapped underneath. Lucy got Claudette handed off to some other firefighters to take her the rest of the way out of the building, but she then quickly got on the radio for backup.
“Mayday! Mayday! Mayday! This is Donato on the third floor, requesting backup from all available units! Captain Nash and one civilian are trapped under heavy debris! Repeat, Captain Nash is trapped, requesting backup now!”
Buck would hear that callout while he was outside at the truck.
Ravi would hear that callout, too.
…So would Chimney.
Buck and Ravi would immediately grab their gear and bolt back into the building, with Chimney and others close behind.
“Should Buck and Ravi really be goin’ in when it’s Cap who’s trapped?” one of the other 118 firefighters would ask Chimney.
“She said she needed all available units, and they’re available!” Chimney would remind him. “…Plus, I don’t think they’d take ‘no’ for an answer on this one!”
The firefighters would rush upstairs to help Lucy, and as Chimney and Buck would get a large cement block lifted off the pile of rubble, they’d find Bobby and May – still alive – with Bobby using his body as a shield to protect May from harm.
Ravi would escort May out of the building, while Chimney and Buck would get under each of Bobby’s arms and help him from the building.
After everyone would be out of the building, and Sue had given May a big hug, and Josh and the electrician (whose name was Conner) had exchanged contact information, Bobby and May would ride together from the scene in an ambulance.
At the hospital (which of course, would happen to be the one Maddie worked at), all four of Bobby’s children would be on him to take his doctor’s advice and get an MRI, just in case.
“I don’t need an MRI!” Bobby would insist.
“Yes, you do!” his four children would argue, all together.
“Dad, please, just get the damn MRI,” May would plead with him.
Bobby would sigh then.
“Fine,” he would say. “But what is the rule?”
“Don’t tell Mom just how bad it got,” the four kids would chorus.
“I’m sorry…” Athena would say, as she stepped into the exam room. “…Don’t tell Mom what?”
Miraculously, all four of Bobby’s heroic, amazing children would suddenly find other things they just had to be doing at that moment and flee from the room, as Bobby was left to face his wife.
“You think she’ll kill him?” Buck would ask Maddie, out in the hall.
“I mean she hasn’t yet, after all these years, so I think he’ll be OK,” Maddie would say.
Ravi would look over at May and smile then.
“So…hell of a last day, huh?” he would joke.
“Yeah, I really went out with a bang on this one, didn’t I?” May would reply.
“Well, we’re just glad you’re alive to see college,” Buck would say, and Maddie would immediately elbow him in the ribs.
“Well, I am grateful to all of LA’s bravest for helping me out with that,” May would tell him, with a smile.
Maddie would hug her little sister then, and Buck and Ravi would join in for a big Nash-sibling group hug.
Until…
“…May Grant-Nash,” Athena would say, from the doorway of the exam room as she stepped out into hall. “…Did I hear your father right when he said that a ceiling fell on you today?”
“Uh……no?” May would squeak.
And suddenly, all three of her older siblings, once again, would realize that they all had important things to do right at that moment, and make a run for it.
EDDIE AND CHRISTOPHER (AND SHANNON)
Just over a year after Christopher’s birth, when Buck and Eddie were both 25 years old, Buck would wake up to his cell phone ringing in the middle of the night.
Checking the Caller ID, Buck would be worried as he answered.
“…Eddie?”
“Buck,” Eddie would sound panicked, and stressed, on the other end of the phone. “I’ve been calling everybody to see if – I- I just called my mom and she hasn’t heard anything, but I dunno, Shannon’s mom isn’t picking up and her friends don’t know anything, at least that’s what they’re saying, and – “
“ – Eddie, Eddie, slow down!” Buck would tell him, and he’d be fully awake then. “What’s going on?”
There would be a pause on the other end of the line, and Buck would swear he heard Eddie trying to stifle a sob.
“…I found a note from Shannon when I woke up this morning,” Eddie would say then. “…Buck, she’s gone. She left. I guess all the stress taking care of Christopher, and with his diagnosis – it was just too much for her…She’s gone.”
Buck and Sue would end up on the same flight to El Paso.
He wouldn’t have even told her that he was going, but she would know better than to tell him he shouldn’t come when she saw him at the airport.
And Sue Blevins would be grateful - for the umpteenth time in her life – that her son had Evan Buckley for a best friend.
--
“This is all my fault,” Eddie would say, as he and Buck sat in his kitchen, and Sue tried to settle Christopher for a nap in his nursery.
“It is not!” Buck would insist. “This is all Shannon, this is her mistake, Eddie. You’ve done nothing but be there for your family.”
“But I haven’t, Buck! And she told me that!” Eddie would tell him. “She was always telling me that she needed me here, that I was gone too much – “
“ – Eddie, you’re in the Army, for God’s sake!” Buck would remind him. “You were in the Army when she met you!”
“Yeah, but after everything that’s happened with Christopher, she needed me around more, Buck!” Eddie would argue. “And I wasn’t there! She needed me to have her back and I wasn’t there!”
“So, what, this is her way of getting revenge?” Buck would ask.
“No, this is her way of saying…that it’s my turn, I guess,” Eddie would reply.
“So, she gets a year of taking care of Christopher, and now she’s tagging you in for a year?” Buck asked. “Parenthood is not supposed to be something you just cash out on, Eddie. Trust me, I know.”
“She’s not your parents, Buck!” Eddie would snap.
“No, she’s not,” Buck would agree. “Because unlike my parents, she made sure to leave Chris with someone who would love him and take care of him before she left, so I guess she can at least get credit for that.”
Eddie would groan then, and rest his head down on the kitchen table.
“I don’t know what I’m gonna do…” he would mumble, before picking his head back up and looking back at Buck. “I can’t stay in the Army. I can’t leave Christoper for long periods like that anymore. He’ll grow up thinking both his parents abandoned him when he needed them most, I don’t want that.”
“I’ll tell you exactly what you’re gonna do,” Sue would speak up, causing Buck and Eddie to whip around in their chairs and see her standing in the doorway.
“…You and my grandson are coming to Los Angeles where you can be with your family and people who love you,” Sue would tell him. “And we will all be there to help you with Christopher and give you all the support you need.”
“Mom, that’s a nice thought, but you still work, and childcare for a kid with cerebral palsy isn’t exactly something that every daycare’s equipped to handle,” Eddie would tell her. “Plus, everything’s more expensive in LA – “
“ – We can get you a childcare aide for Christopher. I know plenty of people who could help us figure that out!” Sue would insist.
“Yeah, like Carla!” buck would exclaim. “Remember Ravi’s old babysitter? She’s totally well-connected when it comes to childcare aides and healthcare aides. My mom still sees her all the time! We can give her a call after we get to LA!”
“OK, you sound a little too excited about all this,” Eddie would say.
“I’m not excited Eddie, I’m just trying to make you see that you’re not alone in this,” Buck would tell him.
“He’s right,” Sue would say. “And talking to Carla is a good idea.”
Eddie would sigh.
“But what about work?” he would wonder aloud. “I can’t be in the military anymore, but I still need something with good benefits, at least.”
“Well, I’ve been thinking about that…” Buck would say. “You were an Army medic, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So…those skills could be easily transferrable to working as an EMT…”
--
A little over six months later, Chimney would walk into Firehouse 118, spot Buck, and give him a smile.
“So…word is that the new guy starts today?” Chimney would say.
Buck would grin. “Yup.”
“Ah…fresh meat, just how I like it,” Chimney would say, as he’d rub his hands together in anticipation.
Bobby would then walk up from behind Buck, with an expression that was not altogether pleased.
“Hey, Cap!” Chimney would exclaim.
“Hmph,” Bobby would grunt.
“He seems excited,” Chimney would tell Buck.
“Oh, he’s very excited,” Buck would agree.
“Whoa – ho! Probie in the house!” Ravi would exclaim, from his spot cleaning the truck, as he looked to the bay door entrance.
“Y’know, Ravi you’re also still a probie,” Buck would remind him. “You’ve only been here six months.”
“Yeah, but this guy’s an even probie-r Probie,” Ravi would say, grinning.
They all turned to look over at the entrance as Eddie walked in, wearing an LAFD t-shirt with an LAFD duffel bag slung over his shoulder.
“Hey, I’m supposed to report to Captain Nash…?” Eddie would say, as he walked up to the small group, wearing a smirk.
Bobby would groan.
Buck would grin.
“Chimney, give Eddie the tour, show him where everything is,” Bobby would grumble.
Chimney would be grinning then too.
“Ooh, I get to haze my little brother! This is gonna be so much fun!” he’d exclaim, as he pulled Eddie across the truck bay.
Ravi would laugh and Bobby would roll his eyes, and Buck would wrap his arms around his father in a side hug.
“Thank you, Daddy, I love you, Daddy,” Buck would say.
“Grr…”
Buck would playfully give his father a kiss on the cheek, causing Ravi to laugh even harder, then he would walk off to catch up with Chimney and Eddie.
THE FAMILY
Months later, during a night that was shaken up by a huge storm, the entire squad would be out in the rain at an apartment building fire downtown. Buck would be on the ladder, hosing down the roof and higher floors, Eddie would be at the bottom of the ladder, and Chimney would be on the ground with Bobby. Other members of the squad would be helping to evacuate the building.
…But then, the unthinkable would happen.
A huge bolt of lightning would come out of nowhere – and hit Buck as he stood on top of the ladder.
The jolt from the lightning would send Eddie sailing backward onto the ground. And when he would look up – he’d see Buck’s limp, unconscious body hanging in the air… at the end of the cord that still connected him to the ladder.
“BUCK…!” Eddie would scream.
“No…” Bobby would murmur, watching his son’s body swing lifelessly at the end of that cord. “Nonononononono….”
“Bobby, make the call for back-up!” Chimney would holler, over the sound of the thunder and rain.
So Bobby, acting on autopilot, would get on the radio and call for additional rescue vehicles to their location…they had a firefighter in need of medical assistance.
As Eddie would get to the top of the ladder and not be able to pull Buck up himself, they’d add more slack to the rope and bring Buck down toward the team on the ground.
“I gotcha kid, I gotcha…” Bobby would say, as he’d hold Buck’s limp body and unclip him from the cord himself, before they got him onto a gurney and into the ambulance.
Bobby and Eddie would be the ones in the front of the ambulance driving, so they both could just focus on getting Buck to the hospital. Chimney would be in the back with Buck and his EMT partner.
When they’d get Buck into the hospital through the ER doors, Bobby would be on autopilot again.
“26 year-old male, struck by lightning. Full cardiac arrest. He was down three minutes before we started compressions,” he would rattle out, doing his best to be all-business and give the doctors all the information they needed to treat Buck. Trying to keep his voice from breaking and a sob from escaping his lips.
Chimney and the doctors would then apply a defibrillator pad to his chest to shock him to attempt to bring his heart rate back to normal.
“We got a pulse!” Chimney would choke out.
“We’ll take it from here!” the doctor would tell them as she and her team would start wheeling Buck away on the gurney.
“…OK, he’s not currently on any medication, but he does have an allergy to naproxen!” Bobby would call after them.
“Got it! We’ll do our best!” the doctor would call over her shoulder.
“Do more!” Eddie would shout, like an order.
Bobby would watch his son being wheeled away on a gurney, and feel like he was about to fully deflate, like a balloon. But then Chimney would nudge him, on his left side.
Bobby would glance to his left and see Maddie – his beautiful Maddie, wearing her favourite Snoopy and Woodstock nurse’s scrubs, standing a few feet away and watching the scene with tears in her eyes.
He would’ve forgotten she was working that night.
Hen would be standing next to her with her arm tightly around her shoulders, wearing her doctor’s scrubs and labcoat.
“What - ? Where – what – what-what happened to Buck?” Maddie would stammer, clearly in shock. “Dad, what…?”
Bobby would rush over to her and put his hands on her shoulders to steady her, as she would look like she was about to pass out.
“We were on a call…and your brother was hit by lightning,” he would tell her, his voice steady now, as he focused on keeping her calm.
“I heard you say you…you didn’t do compressions for three minutes,” Maddie would say. “Does that…Dad, was Buck dead for three minutes?”
“I’m gonna go check and see if there’s anything I can do to help,” Hen would say, before she would go off in the same direction as Buck and his doctors.
“I’ll…I’ll call Ravi,” Eddie would mutter, getting his phone out and walking over to a corner of the ER.
“…Maddie, listen to me,” Bobby would say then, as Maddie took some deep breaths, trying to regulate her breathing. “…Maddie, we need to call your mother.”
“Ooh, it is really comin’ down out there!” Athena would exclaim, as she would walk into Captain Maynard’s office, and see her sitting behind her desk with a somber expression. “My phone’s been busy buzzin’ nonstop but I’ve been so busy because of that city block that lost power….I suppose you need me to help with roadblocks? Is that why I’m here?”
Captain Maynard would glance over to Athena’s left, and Athena would finally notice the two men in LAFD jackets that were standing there.
Athena would try to keep her expression as serious as possible, without emotion – even though she would feel the tears in her eyes – as she looked at the two men.
“…Which one?” she would ask.
Captain Maynard would drive Athena to the hospital herself, not leaving any room for arguments. Athena would be directed to her son’s hospital room and right before going in, she would look through the window that looked into his room from the hallway, and take in the scene in front of her.
Ravi would be there, having arrived just before her. He’d be sitting in a chair, near the window on the other side of the room. His elbows would be propped on his knees, his hands clasped together, knuckles white. Ravi would be a great firefighter, but when his big brother – his hero – was hurt, he didn’t always know how to handle it.
Athena knew that after surviving cancer, Ravi would always hate hospitals. But she would also know that he would always show up for Buck, as well as any other member of his family.
Chimney would be standing with Maddie, next to Buck’s hospital bed, whispering words of assurance to her.
Buck would be lying in the hospital bed, in the centre of all of them.
Her daredevil.
Her devilish little angel.
Her boy who’d survived so much.
He wouldn’t stop now, would he?
“I called May to let her know. Of course she wanted to come back right away, but I told her the roads were too dangerous and to wait for tomorrow,” she’d hear Bobby’s voice say, from her right side as he approached her in the hallway.
May would be on a trip with her friends in San Diego for spring break, so she wouldn’t be there at the time.
Athena would’ve forgotten about that until Bobby told her.
She’d glance over at her husband and see him gazing through the window at the scene in front of them, just as she’d been doing.
“…You know if he were to wake up right now, he wouldn’t regret a single day of being a firefighter,” Athena would tell him, seeing that look in his eye. “So, stop regretting it for him.”
“Every single day, I wake up, and I think to myself, who lets their kids do this?” Bobby would ask. “I’ve been doing this job for a long time, I know the risks, I know the danger, so why would I let my kids go into the same dangerous situations?”
“You said it yourself – you know the risks, you know the danger,” Athena would tell him. “You could teach them about it better than anyone.”
Bobby would sigh, and watch Buck’s comatose form through the window.
“…Then why is he in that hospital bed?” he would ask. “I can save him from a burning building, I could save him if he was drowning, hell, if he was being crushed by a thirty thousand-pound firetruck I’d find a way to lift it off of him all by myself – “
“ – No, I’m pretty sure you’d need a little help with that last one.”
“- But why did it have to be something like this?!” Bobby would ask her, turning to her with tears in his eyes. “I can’t save him from this Athena, I don’t…I don’t know how!”
Athena would cup her husband’s face tenderly and gently wipe his tears away.
“…Baby, there are some things you just can’t predict, and you can’t control,” she would tell her husband. “…So you just have to leave it in someone else’s hands, and pray that it’ll all be OK.”
Bobby would take a deep breath then, and swallow the rest of his tears down.
“…I haven’t been able to go in there yet,” Bobby would tell her. “How much of a coward am I?”
“You are the furthest thing from a coward,” Athena would say.
“I was just in the chapel for a minute,” he would say, still watching his kids through the window. “Praying for strength to see us all through this…to see Buck through this…”
“Baby, if our family’s history has proven anything, it’s that we all get our strength from each other,” she would tell him, squeezing his hand.
He’d look back at his wife then, and manage a watery smile.
“…Now come on,” she’d say. “…They’re waitin’ on us in there.”
The couple would then walk hand in hand into their son’s hospital room, giving and receiving hugs from their oldest daughter, youngest son, and son-in-law…and they would each take a seat on either side of their oldest son’s hospital bed.
When May finally got there bright and early the next morning, she would hug her mother tightly, then sit between Ravi and Maddie on the couch. Seeing his kids with their arms all around each other, watching over one of their siblings while Athena and Bobby watched over them, Bobby would know that Athena was right.
…They did get their strength from each other.
And a little over twenty-four hours later, when Buck would start breathing on his own, and then eventually woke up, Bobby would send up a prayer of thanks for every member of his family…that he still had them, and that they were all still going strong.
